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Boyfriend has pictures of ex on computer watch

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    If you can't trust him get rid. Seriously once there is that doubt in trust it won't go away and tbh from what uve said this boy sounds like he was never that trustworthy you wouldnt keep photos like that if you were really into your new girlfriend, no need. good luck though xxxx
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    Why should he have to pretend like she never existed? Grow up.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    You seem to be the only one to think I'm not overreacting, heh. I guess it's one of those things where people will have really divided opinions... so I'm gonna have to go with my gut instinct and base the break-up on other things that have been on my mind, rather than the pictures... Kind of like the pictures triggered the break-up, but the actual reason for it was luck of trust for other reasons. Thank you!
    I imagine if you thought about it even more you'd realise that it wasn't that he still had the pictures, it's just that you weren't able to trust him enough to not be bothered by them. After all, a photo is just a photo, it's our emotions, thoughts and memories that attaches meaning to the images. For example, if I lost my memory then a picture of me and my girlfriend kissing would mean nothing unless I had memories of what she's like and why I love her.
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    (Original post by tetie)
    Nah, see, that's the thing... I just had my suspicions he's not brushing off the ex, but rather he's encouraging her when she has moments of weakness (like when she might text saying she's missing him and he'll be really flirty rather than cut it off)... That's more the reason for the break-up and the pictures are more what triggered it. Thanks a lot though
    so something as minor as buried away images warrants a break up?

    whatever happened to compromise, understanding?

    Its not as if he's actively cheating on you..

    besides he is a male after all, do you really want him thinking of nobody but you 24/7? maybe its a good thing to have reminders of other relationships from time to time. Is he allowed to have memories of his past? Why should he pretend none of his ex girlfriends existed? Why aren't you appreciating the fact that he chooses you over them?
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    (Original post by barbie*)
    Well if it's the straw that broke the camels back then good luck with it! I think on it's own I wouldn't care about the pictures but it does sound like he's been flirting with the ex a bit and her sending him texts (he should have told you) would probably make me angry.
    I guess the reason your upset is because your using the pictures as proof that he's still hung up on the ex. Good Luck anyway!
    Yes, I guess that's more what I was trying to say.. I do get the feeling that I overreacted about the pictures, but like you say, it's more the fact that he's encouraging her flirting and trying to present another story to me (like that she's doing the chasing - when she actually tried to brush off one of his advances)... Thank you!
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    (Original post by finaa)
    If you can't trust him get rid. Seriously once there is that doubt in trust it won't go away and tbh from what uve said this boy sounds like he was never that trustworthy you wouldnt keep photos like that if you were really into your new girlfriend, no need. good luck though xxxx
    The photos aren't the actual issue, it's the fact that he hadn't earnt enough of the OP's trust for them to not be an issue, or she wasn't able to trust him enough no matter how hard he tried.
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    (Original post by finaa)
    If you can't trust him get rid. Seriously once there is that doubt in trust it won't go away and tbh from what uve said this boy sounds like he was never that trustworthy you wouldnt keep photos like that if you were really into your new girlfriend, no need. good luck though xxxx
    Thanks, I really do think that, even if he tried to fix things, the trust would be gone so we wouldn't be able to be okay together... It makes me really sad, 'cause I'm still so in love, but I guess **** happens
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    Over-reacting, get over it.
    You love him, he loves you too, some flirting is just for killing time...
    This doesn't mean he is THAT untrustworthy - give the guy another chance :>

    Go for the "they lived happily ever after" :>
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    (Original post by RightSaidJames)
    I imagine if you thought about it even more you'd realise that it wasn't that he still had the pictures, it's just that you weren't able to trust him enough to not be bothered by them. After all, a photo is just a photo, it's our emotions, thoughts and memories that attaches meaning to the images. For example, if I lost my memory then a picture of me and my girlfriend kissing would mean nothing unless I had memories of what she's like and why I love her.
    Yes, you're really right. It was definitely that I couldn't trust him enough to not be bothered with them... A lot of things led to this situation, like he would never come to see me or would never text me saying he didn't have money to top up his phone, but then I'd learn that he's been texting other people... so it's definitely a combo of things.. but they did all make me paranoid, so I guess I can't be with him when I feel this way...
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    (Original post by tetie)
    Thanks, I really do think that, even if he tried to fix things, the trust would be gone so we wouldn't be able to be okay together... It makes me really sad, 'cause I'm still so in love, but I guess **** happens
    oh for god sake are you serious? whats the actual point of this thread, you seem to want someone to tell you he is a bad bad person, as if to justify you dumping him. To be honest i think you need to feel more comfortable or secure with yourself before committing to a boyfriend.
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    Memories are memories, and he's allowed to have records of various parts of his life.

    Are you that insecure that you think a few photos are going to cause much of a problem?
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    (Original post by MichaelG)
    so something as minor as buried away images warrants a break up?

    whatever happened to compromise, understanding?

    Its not as if he's actively cheating on you..

    besides he is a male after all, do you really want him thinking of nobody but you 24/7? maybe its a good thing to have reminders of other relationships from time to time. Is he allowed to have memories of his past? Why should he pretend none of his ex girlfriends existed? Why aren't you appreciating the fact that he chooses you over them?
    It's not so much that the pictures warrant a break-up, but more like it was something that was on my mind for a while and the pictures made me realize I'm not going to trust this person... I do blame myself a lot and don't feel good about the situation...

    I realize he's not actively cheating on me... it's a string of things, I could go into detail but I probably shouldn't... like I said in another reply, he would never come see me or he'd lie about not having credit on his phone and text other people not me.. At first, I tried to be understanding, but when I was the one making all the effort, it just became painful... I wasn't angry, I just wanted him to want me so much.. and it's more like seeing those pictures made me realize what him and I didn't have... I never wanted him to pretend his exes don't exist...
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    I have sex videos and naked pictures of one of my exes. I have a folder from a sexy photoshoot I did with another ex. There are others, not to mention the hundreds from every day life. I'm an incredibly photo orientated person. My memory fades, I have to have photos else things go all together. I only have one picture of the one person I was ever truly in love with and even though it was only two years ago, without that picture then I wouldn't be able to remember her face. I forgot her voice a long time ago. My photos stay, if someone can't deal with that then they are the one goes. Usually we just take photos of our own though :p: It's not like I flaunt them, they're hidden away so much that even I forget they exist a lot of the time.
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    (Original post by Abara)
    Over-reacting, get over it.
    You love him, he loves you too, some flirting is just for killing time...
    This doesn't mean he is THAT untrustworthy - give the guy another chance :>

    Go for the "they lived happily ever after" :>
    Yeah I think I definitely need to come to terms with the idea that some flirting's okay. It was my first serious relationship so I'm still trying to deal with things like that. Thanks!
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    (Original post by tetie)
    It's not so much that the pictures warrant a break-up, but more like it was something that was on my mind for a while and the pictures made me realize I'm not going to trust this person... I do blame myself a lot and don't feel good about the situation...

    I realize he's not actively cheating on me... it's a string of things, I could go into detail but I probably shouldn't... like I said in another reply, he would never come see me or he'd lie about not having credit on his phone and text other people not me.. At first, I tried to be understanding, but when I was the one making all the effort, it just became painful... I wasn't angry, I just wanted him to want me so much.. and it's more like seeing those pictures made me realize what him and I didn't have... I never wanted him to pretend his exes don't exist...
    I think its best if you avoid him.
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    (Original post by MichaelG)
    oh for god sake are you serious? whats the actual point of this thread, you seem to want someone to tell you he is a bad bad person, as if to justify you dumping him. To be honest i think you need to feel more comfortable or secure with yourself before committing to a boyfriend.
    I agree that I have issues with feeling secure with myself... The point of this thread was just that I'm kind of sad right now, just trying to figure things out so would like any input, not just positive..
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    You seem to be the only one to think I'm not overreacting, heh. I guess it's one of those things where people will have really divided opinions... so I'm gonna have to go with my gut instinct and base the break-up on other things that have been on my mind, rather than the pictures... Kind of like the pictures triggered the break-up, but the actual reason for it was luck of trust for other reasons. Thank you!
    Yeah, well, I know it's a crime to be anything other than totally open and liberal on this forum, but I think it's a load of ********. You should be the focus of this guy as you sound like a genuine person. I'd go with your gut - if you're already wanting out then that's not going to change any time soon.
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    (Original post by ashy)
    Memories are memories, and he's allowed to have records of various parts of his life.

    Are you that insecure that you think a few photos are going to cause much of a problem?
    I am afraid I have major issues with insecurity, it wasn't just the pictures... Never thought the pictures would cause a problem, it's just what they signified for me (like things we never got to do, because he didn't want to do them with me, which is why it hurt)
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    (Original post by tetie)
    I agree that I have issues with feeling secure with myself... The point of this thread was just that I'm kind of sad right now, just trying to figure things out so would like any input, not just positive..
    try doing your own thing, your own hobbies and such. or seeing some friends a little bit more, the nicest thing to do would be to take your mind off things.
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    (Original post by tetie)
    I am afraid I have major issues with insecurity, it wasn't just the pictures... Never thought the pictures would cause a problem, it's just what they signified for me (like things we never got to do, because he didn't want to do them with me, which is why it hurt)
    Hmm. Well it does sound like there are deeper problems between the two of you, more than just him having pictures of his ex. Talk to him about the deeper issues; don't fixate on the pictures.
 
 
 
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