I have been on citalopram for about 6 months when i was at uni i seemed to be getting better but now i am home i seem to be going down hill again. At uni i had friends who had been through the same thing so they understood what i was going through and how i was feeling. No one in my family has any experience of depression so they don't really understand especially my mum. She keeps going on about how i'm doing really well and how i am getting so much better and i'm really not. She can't see what is right in front of her and i can't explain it to her, cos she will just cut me up and upset me, she doens't understand when i cry that i am just sad and sometimes there isn't one concrete reason, it can be a mixture of little things or even nothing at all. I don't have concellor at the moment cos i have left uni and i don't know if i can get one on the NHS, I don't feel like i'm getting any support from anyone at the moment.
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My mum doesn't understand. watch
- Thread Starter
- 28-07-2009 22:04
- 28-07-2009 22:18
I'm sorry things are rubbish.
I suppose what would be best is to explain to your mum everything you've written here, how she doesn't always understand and how you're getting worse and maybe explain what depression is like.
However I understand that often we get depression when we don't have an adequate support system and that maybe it's difficult to talk about emotional things with your family.
I'm 99.9% sure you can get a counsellor on the nhs, pop in to see your doctor, explain you're already on medication but would like some kind of talking therapy/counsellor and s/he should be able to refer you although I don't know if you might have to wait a short while.
Is it possible that your medication isn't working anymore? Or is it just the pressures of being back home?
- 29-07-2009 18:56
First things first, sorry things are bad for you right now. The best advice i can give is pretty much the same as what lowrax has said, go back to your GP, and ask about a referal to counselling/cbt/etc. I should warn you that even on an urget referal it can sometimes take at worst up to a few months to get an appointment, but this entirely dependednt on whereabout you live and what the services there are like. Just don't it put you off, you will see someone eventually and i hop when you do, that it helps.
Another thing, it may also be worth mentioning to you GP about how you're feeling worse. It maybe they need to adjust your Citalopram dosage? Also the doctor may be able to give you some info that you can pass on to your mum that perhaps explains depression and what she can do to help.
i know how frustrating it can be when you don't feel like you have any support/no-one really understands how you're feeling. Are there any MIND or RETHINK groups in your area? These both often run support groups for people with mental illness so you might be able to meet others who are in a similar situation?
I hope you can get the help you're needing right now, hang on in there hun *hugs*
- 31-07-2009 02:07
Oh god, I can empathise with this so much OP.
I'm exactly the same
I wish I could say something to help, but I don't know how to help myself let alone anyone else. I'd suggest just trying to distract yourself with little things, that's what I'm doing but I know it's utterly useless
What you could also do is see if there are any counselling organisations in your area. E.g. where I am, there's 14-21 (don't know if anyone else has that?) - just a counselling service for young people based in the town hall. There's normally not a long waiting list as it's not NHS or official or anything like that.
Similarly you could see if there are any support groups around as has been mentioned. You could just google "[insert where you live] counselling" or "[insert where you live] depression support groups".
I hope you're coping okay, you have my empathy anyway! x
- 03-08-2009 18:48
I can sort of relate to how you feel. I'm eager to get to University and away from my family (and ashamed of it) because I just spent two months as a mostly independent unit in New Zealand, and I feel stifled and boxed-in now I'm home. Any attempt to talk about it quickly dissolves in to, "You're making a fuss over nothing", which perhaps I am, but Christ do I want some more space of my own.
As for parents not understanding, yeah, been there too. T~T My mother's a very practical person straight off - I tend to despair, wibble a bit, then find the strength for change in those low feelings. I suffer with mild OCD-like traits that HAS made me depressed before now, and my father finds it impossible to get his head round. Note to him - telling me to grow up about something I've been hoping to grow-out of since I was six? And swearing at me to boot? Not conducive to my improvement in the slightest! I KNOW it's not pleasant when I go into a blind panic/end up crying. I KNOW it's not rational (with OCD, that's the point). I KNOW you don't need this on top of everything else. But please, for goodness sake, don't get annoyed further when I distance myself emotionally from you because I'm fed-up of seeing you riled-up.
*tears at hair*
*beams* I agree with what other people have said here - try and see a GP. I think it's possible to get six plus sessions of CBT on the NHS if they think you need them. Also, try some of the natural remedies for warding off depression. I don't mean things like St John's Wort (NOT a good idea if you're taking meds already~). I mean, get out the house, do some physical exercise. If you have any friends that live nearby, do some stuff with them. Hopefully they'll be understanding.
Sorry to rant in your thread. Partly I needed it off my chest, partly I wanted to let you know you're not alone (which you probably realise anyway, but, you know, if helps to have it demonstrated.)
- 04-08-2009 02:19
I kinda know how you're feeling.
Personally the only thing that really makes me feel better is spending time with friends (as my family are just ridiculous). Even though we don't talk about depression as such, in a way I prefer that. At least I dont need to worry about them treating me differently. You probably dont want to spend time with your friends because you feel awful, but I definitely think its worth forcing yourself, preferably don't drink alcohol cause it can make the 'lows' even worse. You shouldnt really be drinking with citalopram anyway though.
I'm sure there are probably ways to get your parents to better understand what you're going through, its just a case of whether you feel able to really write things down or whatever. And its kind of risky as well cause if your parents don't believe in depression or understand it or want to believe that you really have it, they could react in any way. I've shown a friend an email about how I was feeling before which seemed to drive home how bad I felt. I'd been telling her for months that I felt unhappy etc but until she saw it written down she didnt really understand.
As others have said, you should go back to your GP to see if different meds could help. Hope you feel better soon.