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I don't know what to do :'( watch

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    Do NOT let it slip "this one time" If your boyfriend knew he wasn't doing anything wrong he wouldn't have told this other girl to not tell you. He knows what he is doing is downright sneaky; and if you let if slide this one time...what's to say he won't do it again? This other girl is his best friend so it's not like she's going to disappear from the picture in a hurry. Take it up with him, asking him what's going on with this other girl and if there's potentially something more going on. If his story doesn't add up, get rid - please at least have that much respect for yourself.
    Don't hold on to this relationship for the sake of it, you seem like a lovely and tolerant person. You deserve better
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    I'd print all the stuff (emails, facebook etc.) off, and put it in an envelope, then give it too him when you "co-incidentally" happen to be there. Yes it proves it wasn't coincidence, but he's less likely to be trying to deny it or anything, and it's easier than just having to ask him about it. Simply just hand the proof over.

    But no way should you stay with him.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    SO i have no clue. Part of me wants to slap him and hurt him when I see him for messing me around, and just leave him without looking back.
    Part of me thinks i should let it happen, cause he's allowed and shes probably more interesting anyway.
    And then the horrible person in me wants to 'coinsidentally' turn up where they're meeting (because i can see the plans), and then leave him.
    *hugs* You need more self esteem- who says she's more interesting than you? Your boyfriend must see something in you to have stayed with you while he has feeling for her. As for the second option, I would argue that it's justified since he's messed you around so much. As for the joint email, there's a pretty good chance that he knows that you can see these 'secret' plans. You can read from that whatever you want, but I doubt any of the inferences you can make will make you want to stay with him.

    You deserve someone who will give you their whole attention and affections, and won't control who you can and can't see when the rules don't apply to him. Get rid, I reckon.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I have no idea where to start, but me and my boyfriend have been going out for 15 months or so now, and although that isn't long, and I know I'm young but I could see myself spending my life with him.
    But last October time, a girl he's always been best friends with (which was hard for me to accept, he was obsessed with her and what she thought on everything, and she always thought she was that much better than me) and him started talking on msn, and he told her that he secretly wanted to kiss and hold her and love her everytime he saw her, and that if he could marry two people he would marry her too, with urges to kiss her he couldn't live his life without her. I found out when I was on his computer and he hadn't closed the window, but he'd left his laptop at mine. I was beyond upset, I think I would have rather he had drunkenly kissed someone or something than that it broke my heart. I know I probably should have left him or something but he told me he was bored and stupid and loved me and yeah all that.

    I just about got over it all but recently he wants to see her again and has text her saying i miss you lets meet up. Its hard to hear your boyfriend missing another girl, but I said why not, as long as it was a lunchtime day thing. She decided she wanted to go out for drinks and clubbing which I wasn't happy with, hopefully understandably?

    Now while all of this is happening, he is stupidly controlling of me, insists we joint our emails and he looks at my phone, which is fine because I have nothing to hide, I'll point out not once have I ever cheated on him or said anything to anyone else. He asks me to tell him whenever I see other guys and why and for how long, which I do. He told me he would do the same.

    So due to the joint email, I saw he's been messaging her on facebook. Asking to meet up in secret. He's specifically told her not to tell me. He doesn't mind what they do but has said a night this week before she goes away. How the hell am I meant to react to that?! I was really upset when I read it, he wants everything from me, but can hide stuff? I tried to ask him to see him but he just says no, it's too much petrol when we're going camping this weekend. He doesn't know that i've seen the messages.

    SO i have no clue. Part of me wants to slap him and hurt him when I see him for messing me around, and just leave him without looking back.
    Part of me thinks i should let it happen, cause he's allowed and shes probably more interesting anyway.
    And then the horrible person in me wants to 'coinsidentally' turn up where they're meeting (because i can see the plans), and then leave him.

    I have no idea, i'm so confused, i'm sorry that was so long but any input would be amazing.
    Thank you so much if you read that, any questions ask i guess, i don't even know if that makes sense.
    Wow you have a lot of self control! I can only imagine how hard this is I have to agree with yu though, hearing your boyfriend saying things like this to other girls is heart breaking. I honestly think you should tell him that you're not prepared to be with someone who likes someone else as much as he likes you.

    Tell him that he has every right to meet up with friends, male or female, but not to the point that it hurts you or that he has to go behind your back to do it.

    Just wondering, why is he still saying these things to her knowing you can see them? With joint emails and all that...

    I can totally understand why you want to turn up.

    Why don't you turn up without him knowing and see what exactly happens? If he doesn't do anything wrong, fair enough, perhaps tell him in future that you know he met up with her and he should just tell you if he plans to do this in future. If he cheats on you then confront him there and then? - I know this sounds absolutely awful but I could never go on wondering

    Also, confronting people there and then get's a much more honest answer out of them than it would afterwards.
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    My parents don't even have a joint email...

    seriously GET RID OFF. It doesn't matter if you think that perhaps he wouldn't do anything with her.

    You have seen with YOUR own two eyes that he has been saying that he loves, misses, and would marry this girl WTF.

    This requires serious dumping along with a large does of public humiliation.
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    OP, read back over what you've said and ask yourself what advice you'd give if you came across this post

    how much longer do you think your relationship will last if you don't finish it now? how long can you go on thinking & wondering what he's playing at?

    finishing with him may be hard but just think of your peace of mind after you've split up...the world will not end

    you're young, there are plenty more fish in the sea and if you're having doubts about his actions, there are trust issuses not just with him...thus, the relationship will break down anyway

    things will come out in the end which could turn messy, get out whilst things are quiet
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    This might not sound very helpful, but I'll just put my opinion as succinctly as I can -

    Get rid. Now. You can and will do so much better than that
 
 
 
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