3 years ago when I was 18, I had a one night stand, even though i had been in a two year relationship. I fell pregnant with the baby of the man who I had a one night stand with. I was devastated and knew that I could not have an abortion as I would live to regret it and so I had the baby. Before I did so I confessed to my boyfriend, who amzingly said he'd support me and bring the baby up as his own, as long as I did not make the truth common knowledge.
Obviously this was an ideal set up for me, as I love my partner who I'm still with know. We brought the baby up and she wil soon be three. Thing is, a few weeks ago, the guy who is the real father turned up demanding to see his child. I don't know how he found out that he was the father and I'm so upset, I guess it was inevitable and don't want to my my daughter a relationship with her father when she is too young to say.
I told the father that I needed to get my head around it and he has left me alone but I know he will be back.
Am I beng selfish?! I know this sudden arrival will upturn mine, my boyfriends and my daughters worlds. As a family we've become really close. I don't know how to tell my boyfriend who will be devastated?! What do I do?! Deny this other man? Or let him into our lives?! Helpp! x
Real father turns up unexpectedly....what do i do?!?! watch
- Thread Starter
- 28-07-2009 22:39
- 28-07-2009 23:53
As his father, he does have a right to see her. Your relationship with your partner sounds really strong and the father doesn't have to threaten it.
Take it slow.
- 28-07-2009 23:57
You didn't tell the guy that he got you pregnant?
And you wonder why it's come back to bite you in the arse?
- 28-07-2009 23:58
You must have told someone who was unreliable and passed it on. You could always play "avoid" AKA avoid him and see if he goes away. If he does continue to contact you about your child you'll know that he is serious about taking on the role as the child's father, and if that is the case you have to respect it. After all, biologically he certainly does have a right. However, you may find that he gets fed up with you avoiding him and gives up. In which case you'll know he wasn't worth it in the first place.
- 28-07-2009 23:59
post a thread on tsr while he waits at the door. thats what
- 29-07-2009 00:00
after reading propery, this.
hes half your child, half his. you should have told him, he could be a nice guy for all you know, how is it gonna be bad for the child?
- 29-07-2009 00:02
this is a tough situation!
But at the end of the day, he is much a parent as you are and has just as much right to see his daughter.
While your boyfriend is being a proper angel about this and is doing all the right things, he took this little girl as his knowing full well that the real father is out there and had the right to come back.
My mate is in a similar situation. Was on a break from her long term boyfriend, they split up for about 2 months, she had a casual relationship and got pregnant. Real dad says he wants nothing to do with it and her boyfriend she is back with said he will bring it up with her, as his.
But there are implications. Nothing can stop a real father from seeing his daughter, he has every right as long as he treats her right.
- 29-07-2009 00:03
You need to let him see his daughter a little, try and keep him on side or things could turn messy quickly. I also suggest you tell your current partner or things could get messy for you both too and you'd be left with no support. Let him have access maybe once a week until you've sorted out something more permanent. You're lucky you can sort this out whilst your daughter is too young to realise what's going on. Good luck
- 29-07-2009 00:05
wow i think you should tell your other half and you will have to let him in because he is your childs dad. do it properly through the courts and stuff and make sure u get a dna test first. just to make sure. oh and u might wanna re think your friends.