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Is it okay to lie to someone to protect them? Watch

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    The reason I'm asking is because my boyfriend said he's done it before. Numerous times, apparently. He gave me an example because I was curious, and yeah it upset me, but what upset me more was the fact he lied to me. I get a little paranoid now, I find myself thinking "well, what else have you hidden/are you hiding?". What's springing to mind is that if he's lying to protect me, could he potentially end up lying about other things?

    Although the things he would tell me would hurt, I'd rather he told me. But I don't know if I'm overreacting - I personally find it a little harder to take the things he says in case they're being said to compensate for something. Before he told me the thing I asked about, he was telling me how much he loved me and everything, but... I don't know. I can't tell if I'm being stupid or going over the top.

    I'm naturally an insecure person which doesn't help either. I know the truth hurts but I want to know everything. I don't want to be lied to, or things to be hidden from me. That way, I'll just never know what he's thinking.

    Am I being silly about this?
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    What was he supposedly protecting you from?

    You're not being silly at all.
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    Just something his sister said about me, when he told her about us. :\ I'm over what she said, it's just that he didn't tell me.
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    (Original post by FuzzySheep)
    The reason I'm asking is because my boyfriend said he's done it before. Numerous times, apparently. He gave me an example because I was curious, and yeah it upset me, but what upset me more was the fact he lied to me. I get a little paranoid now, I find myself thinking "well, what else have you hidden/are you hiding?". What's springing to mind is that if he's lying to protect me, could he potentially end up lying about other things?

    Although the things he would tell me would hurt, I'd rather he told me. But I don't know if I'm overreacting - I personally find it a little harder to take the things he says in case they're being said to compensate for something. Before he told me the thing I asked about, he was telling me how much he loved me and everything, but... I don't know. I can't tell if I'm being stupid or going over the top.

    I'm naturally an insecure person which doesn't help either. I know the truth hurts but I want to know everything. I don't want to be lied to, or things to be hidden from me. That way, I'll just never know what he's thinking.

    Am I being silly about this?
    No you are not
    he is
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    No, i'd feel exactly the same. I'm not being funny but doesn't this seem to be a trait amongst boys? They fake it's to "protect" us when it's really protecting their own cowardly insides. I always tell my boyfriend that whatever it is, I'd rather him just tell me straight. It's more than likely I'll find out down the line anyway, and it hurts so much more then cause you start thinking there was some alterior motive behind it, or if he's omitting something else. Even if it's such a miniscule, insignificant thing it's the fact that he lied so easily to your face is what grinds me, so, he could do it about whatever?

    Argh! Boys!
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    Its called being chivalrous, give us a break jesus. do you want us to be blunt all the time then?
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    (Original post by Lizia)
    I think you're over reacting a bit, considering what the thing he hid was. He wasn't lying to you, it seems to me, he just didn't see the point in upsetting you by telling you his sister didn't like you. If he was lying about things he'd done, then fair enough. You couldn't do anything about his sister not approving of your relationship, so why tell you and upset you or make you insecure?
    I suppose so... but it was just one example he chose. I know that there was nothing he could do about it, but I'd rather know than just think everything was fine. I'm just wondering if he could potentially be hiding something that I should know, and worrying about whether this'll lead to other things. I don't want him to lie to me to keep me happy, if that makes sense.

    (Original post by Katieloula)
    No, i'd feel exactly the same. I'm not being funny but doesn't this seem to be a trait amongst boys? They fake it's to "protect" us when it's really protecting their own cowardly insides. I always tell my boyfriend that whatever it is, I'd rather him just tell me straight. It's more than likely I'll find out down the line anyway, and it hurts so much more then cause you start thinking there was some alterior motive behind it, or if he's omitting something else. Even if it's such a miniscule, insignificant thing it's the fact that he lied so easily to your face is what grinds me, so, he could do it about whatever?

    Argh! Boys!
    That's exactly what I'm thinking! I don't want to be this naive, gullible person he could get to believe anything he wanted, and it'd be so easy for him to do it.
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    It's never cool to lie.
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    (Original post by FuzzySheep)
    The reason I'm asking is because my boyfriend said he's done it before. Numerous times, apparently. He gave me an example because I was curious, and yeah it upset me, but what upset me more was the fact he lied to me. I get a little paranoid now, I find myself thinking "well, what else have you hidden/are you hiding?". What's springing to mind is that if he's lying to protect me, could he potentially end up lying about other things?

    Although the things he would tell me would hurt, I'd rather he told me. But I don't know if I'm overreacting - I personally find it a little harder to take the things he says in case they're being said to compensate for something. Before he told me the thing I asked about, he was telling me how much he loved me and everything, but... I don't know. I can't tell if I'm being stupid or going over the top.

    I'm naturally an insecure person which doesn't help either. I know the truth hurts but I want to know everything. I don't want to be lied to, or things to be hidden from me. That way, I'll just never know what he's thinking.

    Am I being silly about this?
    Of course
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    (Original post by Mark Rippetoe)
    It's never cool to lie.
    omg wtfs your sig? It makes me feel sick.
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    (Original post by Katieloula)
    omg wtfs your sig? It makes me feel sick.
    I caught pineapplitis whilst on holiday in Turkey.
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    Its sometimes okay to lie to protect somebody, but he isn't really protecting you, so its not okay for him to lie.
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    (Original post by Mark Rippetoe)
    I caught pineapplitis whilst on holiday in Turkey.
    Omg is it like HOLES in your fingers??
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    (Original post by Katieloula)
    Omg is it like HOLES in your fingers??
    Pretty much. I can keep M&M's inside and save them for later.
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    (Original post by Mark Rippetoe)
    Pretty much. I can keep M&M's inside and save them for later.
    Youve still got it now? Will it go?
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    (Original post by Katieloula)
    Youve still got it now? Will it go?
    It's getting a little bit deeper. Sometimes it snags on the keyboard. I can't play guitar anymore.

    When I'm at the pub and I reach in a bowl of nuts at the bar, I get about 2-3 stuck inside without even trying to pick them up. But the salt is a ***** to clean out.
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    (Original post by FuzzySheep)
    Just something his sister said about me, when he told her about us. :\ I'm over what she said, it's just that he didn't tell me.
    If she said you weren't good enough for him or whatever then fair enough, there is no sensible way of him telling you that
 
 
 
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