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    (Original post by helz_91)
    Ahh.

    Time and time again, I've spoken to guys, and they have all ended up letting me down, turning out to be immature, pathetic or downright losers.

    I'm sensible enough not to have unrealistic or overly high expectations of guys, but I always end up getting hurt...

    The only lovely guys I know are friends, I get on so well with some lads, but I never want to pursue it incase I ruin my friendship with them.

    It's not like I'm hideous or have a bad personality...I just don't know where I'm going wrong!!

    Any advice or hints??

    All guys are *******s. Unless they're gay...then they are lovely. Read "He's just not that into you" (if you havn't already) will open up a whole new world to you...well it did for me. Anyways don't ever trust a guy, there arn't many nice ones and you just have to ride it out until the right one comes along, don't waste your precious time dating losers when you could have been seeing fabulous friends during that time and having a much better time!
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    (Original post by Deyn_08)
    Just going on what i've seen/experienced.
    Not defeatist.Realistic.
    Then you're clearly not adequately "experienced". That is not anybody else's problem.
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    (Original post by Meenapixi)
    All guys are *******s. Unless they're gay...then they are lovely. Read "He's just not that into you" (if you havn't already) will open up a whole new world to you...well it did for me. Anyways don't ever trust a guy, there arn't many nice ones and you just have to ride it out until the right one comes along, don't waste your precious time dating losers when you could have been seeing fabulous friends during that time and having a much better time!
    What utter nonsense!
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    (Original post by Melancholy)
    What utter nonsense!
    you dated a guy before?
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    (Original post by onthejubileeline)
    But really, there are plenty of decent guys out there just waiting to be given half a chance.

    We don't do ourselves any favours though....




    Not saying I am one, mind.
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    (Original post by Meenapixi)
    you dated a guy before?
    :awesome:
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    I'd well do you and not leave you after getting what I want.
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    (Original post by Meenapixi)
    you dated a guy before?
    No, but neither does the question necessitate it nor even desire it.

    Though, equally, I could fire back the question: "have you dated the majority of gay people before?" At least if you had, you could have supported your massive homosexual generalisation/stereotyping. Your method is akin to a scenario whereby I happen to date a couple of *****es and stereotype a gender based upon those mongs. That's daft, to me at least.
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    I'm decent! I was once a little bit of an arrogant tw*t, but since I've grown up I'd definitely say I'm decent.

    I'm not the only one, you might just be looking in the wrong places/ at the wrong people. Don't expect a guy to be decent, then if he is cool, and if not then you don't get upset by it.

    :top:
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    (Original post by Drewski)
    So you find guys you like, who are decent and who treat you nicely?








    And you bemoan a lack of decent guys?





    :rolleyes:
    This, sort of. It's easy to find decent guys and it's easy to find guys you are attracted to, but the two categories don't always overlap. I have yet to find someone I'm attracted to as a person AND in a physical
    sense, but I know this is more my flaw than one with men in general.

    Maybe re-assess the sort of men you're seeking? Though obviously this is easier said than done... good luck =)
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    (Original post by Melancholy)
    No, but neither does the question necessitate it nor even desire it.

    Though, equally, I could fire back the question: "have you dated the majority of gay people before?" At least if you had, you could have supported your massive homosexual generalisation/stereotyping.

    You totally misunderstood the point of me asking that question. I wasn't saying your gay I was pointing out that you have not dated a man (as a woman) so you wouldn't know how it affects us or what the majority of guys are like in a relationship.
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    (Original post by helz_91)
    Ahh.

    Time and time again, I've spoken to guys, and they have all ended up letting me down, turning out to be immature, pathetic or downright losers.

    I'm sensible enough not to have unrealistic or overly high expectations of guys, but I always end up getting hurt...

    The only lovely guys I know are friends, I get on so well with some lads, but I never want to pursue it incase I ruin my friendship with them.

    It's not like I'm hideous or have a bad personality...I just don't know where I'm going wrong!!

    Any advice or hints??
    Hi ya, I started reading the other post but there were so many girls dissing guys I had to stop ...

    Basically, short term and long term attraction are 2 very diffrent things, you may be going for people you get in lust with which is only a short term attraction so you're not getting what you really want. It might be that you need to work out what your long term attraction traits are and try to find them in a guy and not get distracted by the short term stuff ...

    Does that make sense? It's kinda what I figured out about myself, since my last long term relationship (where I was cheated on) I seem to want the long term thing but KEEP getting distracted and going for the short term traits.
    :confused:
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    (Original post by Meenapixi)
    You totally misunderstood the point of me asking that question. I wasn't saying your gay I was pointing out that you have not dated a man (as a woman) so you wouldn't know how it affects us or what the majority of guys are like in a relationship.
    Stop going out with idiots and you will see how decent guys act in relationships.
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    (Original post by Meenapixi)
    You totally misunderstood the point of me asking that question. I wasn't saying your gay I was pointing out that you have not dated a man (as a woman) so you wouldn't know how it affects us or what the majorty of guys are like in a relationship.
    Au contraire, you completely misunderstood my statement. The question did not necessitate that I'd ever dated a male before (as a female). That isn't a requirement for judging whether there are any decent guys. I hang round with a lot of decent guys (and girls) who are in very cosy relationships (and some who are single). I'm sorry that yours, apparently, didn't work (though, was that just his fault? Oh, of course it was; silly me...)

    I didn't even say that you called me gay, I merely questioned your huge stereotyping of sexes/genders (sexism, in other words), and your massive generalisation of homosexuals.

    And of course I know how guys are like in a relationship. Heck, I'm in a relationship with somebody to whom I'm incredibly attracted. I certainly know, better than most at least, how I'm like in a relationship - and how she's like in a relationship.

    Yet even if we did accept your preposterous assumption that I'd need to date a guy to check whether he is decent, the burden of proof is still on you to support the statement that the majority of guys are not decent. Unless you're a very loose, easy woman (a "slut", to use the impolite term), then I very much doubt that you're sufficiently experienced to cast such damning judgements on "guys".

    Perhaps you're just unlucky? Or perhaps you just attract idiots - heck, there are idiots who happen to be male and idiots who happen to be female. Yet, equally, I could cite some awful experiences of immature "*****y" females and make hugely unhelpful statements which involve sexist judgements on an entire gender.

    Yes, you may have had a range of unsuccessful experiences in the relationship department; but the good number of successful and stable and loving relationships out there rather counts against your testimonies, I'm afraid.

    (Original post by Meenapixi)
    All guys are *******s. Unless they're gay...then they are lovely. Read "He's just not that into you" (if you havn't already) will open up a whole new world to you...well it did for me. Anyways don't ever trust a guy, there arn't many nice ones and you just have to ride it out until the right one comes along, don't waste your precious time dating losers when you could have been seeing fabulous friends during that time and having a much better time!
    I mean, they're some pretty broad and bitter statements you've made there. And I know some homosexuals who would not tell pleasing tales of their experiences with other homosexuals. They're not all "lovely", and likewise, not all guys are "*******s", much like not all lasses are "slutty *****es". Something has clearly irked you into these gender stereotypes.
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    You'll find one, but nice guys finish last.
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    (Original post by TheWakeUpCall)
    You'll find one, but nice guys finish last.
    That's more a good thing from the point of view of a girl...
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    (Original post by dmae)
    Stop going out with idiots and you will see how decent guys act in relationships.

    I said this to other guy who scoffed at what I said:

    These so called "decent guys" that people keep banging on about...where ARE they? I'll tell you where...they are either IN a relationship or they are gay. I know that for a fact cos all the nice guys I know who I would LOVE to date fit into one of those catagories. This brings us back to ugly truth of "I'm the one with somthing wrong with me because I can't attract one of those decent guys that everyone else seems to be able to bag."
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    (Original post by Meenapixi)
    All guys are *******s. Unless they're gay...then they are lovely. Read "He's just not that into you" (if you havn't already) will open up a whole new world to you...well it did for me. Anyways don't ever trust a guy, there arn't many nice ones and you just have to ride it out until the right one comes along, don't waste your precious time dating losers when you could have been seeing fabulous friends during that time and having a much better time!
    I'm sure if a boy said that about girls he would be labelled a sexist. What a pessimistic extreme view.
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    give me a call...
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    (Original post by Meenapixi)
    I said this to other guy who scoffed at what I said:

    These so called "decent guys" that people keep banging on about...where ARE they? I'll tell you where...they are either IN a relationship or they are gay. I know that for a fact cos all the nice guys I know who I would LOVE to date fit into one of those catagories.
    The way we try to fit people into categories is often wrong anyway. A "nice guy" won't necessarily mess around with your emotions less and make you happier. It doesn't work that easily.

    When you're young, you try to transpose people's behaviour in social situations and everyday life to relationships or sex as if there is even a strong correlation between the two. A guy who acts like a complete ******* around people in general can be the sweetest boyfriend you'll ever have, and a guy who acts all friendly and nice might be a despicable boyfriend who ends up hurting you a lot.

    I've totally changed the type of girls I go for over the years because after many failed relationships, I've realised that when you think you're picking good "girlfriend material", you make huge assumptions and it's only once you're in a relationship that you realise how idiotic your assumptions were. Just because a girl acts all sweet with people in general, doesn't mean that she'll be a sweet girlfriend and I think that the same applies to guys.

    Same for sex really. Here's a quote from a lesser known film: "Girls who dance like they're good in bed never are". You just can never tell these things...

    There really is no such thing as a "nice guy". We all have our wicked side. I do recognise what girls mean when they say a guy is "nice" to say they're not attracted because he's plain/boring but that's totally different.
 
 
 
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