Turn on thread page Beta
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Nice guys are boring. Stable but boring. If you want one, you'll have to approach him etc. And he'll probs put you up on a pedestal. Rather go look for the confident guy who isn't a prick and tame him.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by n0c0ntr0l)
    Nice guys are boring. Stable but boring. If you want one, you'll have to approach him etc. And he'll probs put you up on a pedestal. Rather go look for the confident guy who isn't a prick and tame him.
    Clearly a 17 year old's perspective. You'll grow up one day. I'm a nice guy, didn't used to be until I got my heart smashed - maybe that's what it'll take for you to change your attitude too. I'm anything but boring, sometimes stable (sometimes not), and I'll be ****** if I'm not confident enough to stand up infront of 300 people and tell them about my life.

    Alas, confidence and being "nice" isn't always oxymoronic.

    :top:
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Not on TSR.
    Offline

    8
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Melancholy)
    Au contraire, you completely misunderstood my statement. The question did not necessitate that I'd ever dated a male before (as a female). That isn't a requirement for judging whether there are any decent guys. I hang round with a lot of decent guys (and girls) who are in very cosy relationships. I'm sorry that yours, apparently, didn't work (though, was that just his fault? Oh, of course it was; silly me...)

    I didn't even say that you called me gay, I merely questioned your huge stereotyping of sexes/genders (sexism, in other words), and your massive generalisation of homosexuals.

    And of course I know how guys are like in a relationship. Heck, I'm in a relationship with somebody to whom I'm incredibly attracted. I certainly know, better than most at least, how I'm like in a relationship - and how she's like in a relationship.

    Yet even if we did accept your preposterous assumption that I'd need to date a guy to check whether he is decent, the burden of proof is still on you to support the statement that the majority of guys are not decent. Unless you're a very loose, easy woman (a "slut", to use the impolite term), then I very much doubt that you're sufficiently experienced to cast such damning judgements on "guys".

    Perhaps you're just unlucky? Or perhaps you just attract idiots - heck, there are idiots who happen to be male and idiots who happen to be female. Yet, equally, I could cite some awful experiences of immature "*****y" females and make hugely unhelpful statements which involve sexist judgements on an entire gender.

    Yes, you may have had a range of unsuccessful experiences in the relationship department; but the good number of successful and stable and loving relationships out there rather counts against your testimonies, I'm afraid.

    After you have been cheated on 3 times, been dumped for a girl who lives in america who your ex-bf met over the internet, got used as a booty call when you thought you were in a relationship, had a guy dump you for not respecting your moral boundries and even try to dumb oneself down for a guy who seemed to be ever so much the gentleman only to find out he was dating not only you but about 3 other girls (and all the other crap that one has experienced over the years with various members of the male gender), one's opinion of men in the dating arena doesn't really have heartshapes framing it and happy songs coming from it.

    Because most of the time all you remember is the pain. That gaping hole in your chest? You know its not really there but it feels like somthings been brutally ripped out and you can't breathe, you clutch it when you walk normally lookign like a total crazy loon but that pain inflicted is there. And yes time heals all wounds, until that same wound is opened again. And again. And again. And when that happens multiple times then one builds a wall to fortify against relationships which are just a lie and a hotbed for more pain to ensue once the relationship is broken off.

    Those two happy elements mixed together makes one bitter, unhappy and frankly unwilling to ever date ever again. And you know what your right, its probably not all the guy's fault, I'm to blame as well. I loved too much. I gave too much. I PAID too much. I wasn't really a girlfriend so much as a lapdog. So yeah I made a big mistake there in not giving myself enough importance in the relationship, because I always made it all about the guy.

    I'm glad you found your happily ever after. Congratulations. But I just can't afford to be that optimistic with men, I have to expect the worst because otherwise I'm opening myself up for more pain since I fall for a guy way to easily. Until the rosey tinted glasses of love help me to see guys in a better light I will continue to be kinda sexist and pessimistic towards guys, because everytime I see a girlfriend crying over some rediculous fool who was just a waste of time I can't help but think "its all his fault" and call it biased or prejudiced, but I've been through way too much misery with the few guys I have been in relationships with to turn the other cheek towards guys.

    MY current dating philosophy? "Its ALWAYS the man's fault. ALWAYS" <---- And that ladies and gentlemen is why I shall become the spinster cat lady living down the road from you all.:woo:
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by truthandtragedy)
    I agree. Boys are gay. :yes:
    My God i wish they all were
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Meenapixi)
    I said this to other guy who scoffed at what I said:

    These so called "decent guys" that people keep banging on about...where ARE they? I'll tell you where...they are either IN a relationship or they are gay. I know that for a fact cos all the nice guys I know who I would LOVE to date fit into one of those catagories. This brings us back to ugly truth of "I'm the one with somthing wrong with me because I can't attract one of those decent guys that everyone else seems to be able to bag."
    You are contradicting yourself - you just said that all guys are *******s (unless they are gay), and now you are saying that all the nice guys you would like to date are in relationships.

    It is not our fault that all you have dated nasty guys that hurt you. It is also not our fault that all guys that you fancy are already in relationships.

    So stop whining.
    Offline

    8
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by secondtogod)
    I'm sure if a boy said that about girls he would be labelled a sexist. What a pessimistic extreme view.
    funny thing is that I AM quite sexist so...yeah. :woo:
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    Beta males are better lovers than Alpha males
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Meenapixi)
    After you have been cheated on 3 times, been dumped for a girl who lives in america who your ex-bf met over the internet, got used as a booty call when you thought you were in a relationship, had a guy dump you for not respecting your moral boundries and even try to dumb oneself down for a guy who seemed to be ever so much the gentleman only to find out he was dating not only you but about 3 other girls (and all the other crap that one has experienced over the years with various members of the male gender), one's opinion of men in the dating arena doesn't really have heartshapes framing it and happy songs coming from it.

    Because most of the time all you remember is the pain. That gaping hole in your chest? You know its not really there but it feels like somthings been brutally ripped out and you can't breathe, you clutch it when you walk normally lookign like a total crazy loon but that pain inflicted is there. And yes time heals all wounds, until that same wound is opened again. And again. And again. And when that happens multiple times then one builds a wall to fortify against relationships which are just a lie and a hotbed for more pain to ensue once the relationship is broken off.

    Those two happy elements mixed together makes one bitter, unhappy and frankly unwilling to ever date ever again. And you know what your right, its probably not all the guy's fault, I'm to blame as well. I loved too much. I gave too much. I PAID too much. I wasn't really a girlfriend so much as a lapdog. So yeah I made a big mistake there in not giving myself enough importance in the relationship, because I always made it all about the guy.

    I'm glad you found your happily ever after. Congratulations. But I just can't afford to be that optimistic with men, I have to expect the worst because otherwise I'm opening myself up for more pain since I fall for a guy way to easily. Until the rosey tinted glasses of love help me to see guys in a better light I will continue to be kinda sexist and pessimistic towards guys, because everytime I see a girlfriend crying over some rediculous fool who was just a waste of time I can't help but think "its all his fault" and call it biased or prejudiced, but I've been through way too much misery with the few guys I have been in relationships with to turn the other cheek towards guys.

    MY current dating philosophy? "Its ALWAYS the man's fault. ALWAYS" <---- And that ladies and gentlemen is why I shall become the spinster cat lady living down the road from you all.:woo:
    Stop dating alpha males / players then. Simples.
    Offline

    8
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Davezk)
    Stop dating alpha males / players then. Simples.

    Just don't date. So much easier. Less pain, more time, more money.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    A sociologist called Somebodyorother (i didn't need to revise very hard for my last exam) argued that heterosexual men like to assert authority. some do this through being successful in their work or academic studies. Others can't emulate this success and so instead attempt to assert authority over their partners using inflated masculine egos - they feel that they can gain power by messing their girlfriends around. Quite a reasonable theory i think. And because many men our age aren't yet able to assert their authority in their work they are logically more likely to be *******s! :s
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Meenapixi)
    After you have been cheated on 3 times, been dumped for a girl who lives in america who your ex-bf met over the internet, got used as a booty call when you thought you were in a relationship, had a guy dump you for not respecting your moral boundries and even try to dumb oneself down for a guy who seemed to be ever so much the gentleman only to find out he was dating not only you but about 3 other girls (and all the other crap that one has experienced over the years with various members of the male gender), one's opinion of men in the dating arena doesn't really have heartshapes framing it and happy songs coming from it.

    Because most of the time all you remember is the pain. That gaping hole in your chest? You know its not really there but it feels like somthings been brutally ripped out and you can't breathe, you clutch it when you walk normally lookign like a total crazy loon but that pain inflicted is there. And yes time heals all wounds, until that same wound is opened again. And again. And again. And when that happens multiple times then one builds a wall to fortify against relationships which are just a lie and a hotbed for more pain to ensue once the relationship is broken off.

    Those two happy elements mixed together makes one bitter, unhappy and frankly unwilling to ever date ever again. And you know what your right, its probably not all the guy's fault, I'm to blame as well. I loved too much. I gave too much. I PAID too much. I wasn't really a girlfriend so much as a lapdog. So yeah I made a big mistake there in not giving myself enough importance in the relationship, because I always made it all about the guy.

    I'm glad you found your happily ever after. Congratulations. But I just can't afford to be that optimistic with men, I have to expect the worst because otherwise I'm opening myself up for more pain since I fall for a guy way to easily. Until the rosey tinted glasses of love help me to see guys in a better light I will continue to be kinda sexist and pessimistic towards guys, because everytime I see a girlfriend crying over some rediculous fool who was just a waste of time I can't help but think "its all his fault" and call it biased or prejudiced, but I've been through way too much misery with the few guys I have been in relationships with to turn the other cheek towards guys.

    MY current dating philosophy? "Its ALWAYS the man's fault. ALWAYS" <---- And that ladies and gentlemen is why I shall become the spinster cat lady living down the road from you all.:woo:
    Hopefully you'll have taken encouragement from what I've said, though. We're not all meanies
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    I made the best banoffee pie ever but ate it all before I managed to take a pic!
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Wild_Precious_Life)
    I made the best banoffee pie ever but ate it all before I managed to take a pic!
    lol fail,
    wrong thread
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Meenapixi)
    Just don't date. So much easier. Less pain, more time, more money.
    You'd be pretty naive to only consider the pros rather than both sides.
    Offline

    17
    ReputationRep:
    Everybody gets let down by the opposite sex at least once in their lifetime, what matters is how you deal with it. Of course their are decent guys out there, I questioned whether there were any decent girls out there when I had an experience with a lying, manipulating b****. There's plenty more fish in the sea.
    Offline

    8
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by dmae)
    You are contradicting yourself - you just said that all guys are *******s (unless they are gay), and now you are saying that all the nice guys you would like to date are in relationships.

    It is not our fault that all you have dated nasty guys that hurt you. It is also not our fault that all guys that you fancy are already in relationships.

    So stop whining.

    I never said it was YOUR fault per say, jebus....and I have dug myself a large hole by making some generalisations because I'm a bit lazy right now...but I wasn't whining just stating the fact as it is in my experience. And guys in relationships don't really count cos they are not really in the whole dating scene so I see them as kinda exempt from my nice little ******* generalisation there. I'll just save myself time and pain etc. etc. and just not date. yeey we all win.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    I think I can see where the OP's been going wrong.. she's never met me :yep:
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Wild_Precious_Life)
    I made the best banoffee pie ever but ate it all before I managed to take a pic!
    I love you.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by tkhaz44)
    lol fail,
    wrong thread
    Bugger, twas meant to be in the "look what I made thread"!

    Oh well, banoffee pie is a lot tastier than most men anyway. :p:
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: September 21, 2009
Poll
How are you feeling in the run-up to Results Day 2018?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.