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    Please keep anon or delete...I don't want the people I know who use this site to see...

    I have social anxiety disorder (undiagnosed though) all my life (since I was 5/6 at least) I've been avoiding situations that involve being seen in public I mean at 5/6 I faked injuries to get out of public speaking! Over the past years it hasn't gotten any better (I'm 17) and I thought I was just shy but I don't think that's it. I hate talking on the phone, eating with my family/in public, I don't show my parents any of my work in fear of being laughed at and told it's wrong, I hate people looking at my work in front of me which is why I always cover it when writing, I tend to type in small font and different fonts so that no one can see what I'm typing and I get this stressed out feeling all the time...it gets so bad that my legs, arms, neck spasm when thinking about an embarassing moment and it's worse when I'm about to go to sleep and rocking back and forth is all that helps me calm down somewhat...takes me an hour to fall asleep some nights. I basically live online and only leave the house for school. I say sorry for no reason at all and I can't help it, I'm irritable and hate being stared at....I feel as if someone's watching me all the time and this makes me nervous to act myself even at home...I'm so self-concious I hate it!!! A few weeks ago I even fainted due to an anxiety attack and in school I shake when being called on and yet I want to talk but I just can't bring myself to do it! When even thinking about a presentation my heart speads up and in the mirror my eyes have dialated and my face gets slightly red and I find it hard to breath and worry obsessively about messing up (this presentation is in september/october) and I'm always thinking about the worst case scenario never the best!! It takes me ages to press send to an e-mail and I have to check it about 20 times as I don't want to offend the other person...I keep the sent message after sending to double check...I get nervous opening e-mails (takes 5 minutes) and I don't know why....

    why is this happening to me? my sister doesn't have this my mother or my father dont...so why me!!!

    I can't do this anymore I don't know what to do...I hate this anxious feeling...the thing is I'm leaving the country next september (2010) for university in america so if I get help in the UK I'd fear as if I'm wasting their time as I'm leaving next year...my sisters getting to see a psychiatrist due to mood swings but my parents just think I'm shy so don't bother and I'm to shy to say anything!

    I just want this anxious feeling to go away...Any advice please!?!
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    Erm...pretty obvious but see a doctor? You're not wasting their time, trust me, it sounds like you've got quite a serious problem here. They can prescribe anti-anxiety pills for use when you're feeling particularly bad or counselling or CBT to change the way you think.
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    Erm...pretty obvious but see a doctor? You're not wasting their time, trust me, it sounds like you've got quite a serious problem here. They can prescribe anti-anxiety pills for use when you're feeling particularly bad or counselling or CBT to change the way you think.
    the only problem is no one in my family knows and they tend to get very paranoid about where I go and they'd freak if they knew I was seeing someone
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    the only problem is no one in my family knows and they tend to get very paranoid about where I go and they'd freak if they knew I was seeing someone
    You could always try getting a book on social anxiety, it's not quite the same and it sounds like you have it pretty bad. Are you off to university any time soon?
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    You could always try getting a book on social anxiety, it's not quite the same and it sounds like you have it pretty bad. Are you off to university any time soon?
    books don't really help...the ones I've looked at anyway I just might not have found the right one yet.

    well I'll be going to uni in 2011 so that's 2 years away...I'll be hopefully living away from home then but depends on which uni I end up getting into...
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    books don't really help...the ones I've looked at anyway I just might not have found the right one yet.

    well I'll be going to uni in 2011 so that's 2 years away...I'll be hopefully living away from home then but depends on which uni I end up getting into...
    Have you tried Overcoming Low Self-Esteem by Melanie Fennell? It's supposed to be quite good, it was recommended to me as I have a lot of the same problems that you've listed (not read it yet though). Uses CBT techniques which are shown to be quite effective, but it's quite a lot of work to do.

    Other than that, I think there's some online CBT thing, but I tihnk it's for depression rather than social anxiety called moodgym, again, not tried it but have seen people on here recommend it.

    If you can't see a doctor now you can wait until uni when you'll be free to do whatever, but 2 years is quite a long time.
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    Have you tried Overcoming Low Self-Esteem by Melanie Fennell? It's supposed to be quite good, it was recommended to me as I have a lot of the same problems that you've listed (not read it yet though). Uses CBT techniques which are shown to be quite effective, but it's quite a lot of work to do.

    Other than that, I think there's some online CBT thing, but I tihnk it's for depression rather than social anxiety called moodgym, again, not tried it but have seen people on here recommend it.

    If you can't see a doctor now you can wait until uni when you'll be free to do whatever, but 2 years is quite a long time.
    thanks for the book recommendation! I'll look it up I'm willing to do the work if it can help in the long run...

    yeah I was thinking of waiting just depends on whether that's possible for me to deal with...atm that's not looking too good lol.

    I mean one of my friends knows as well as one of my psych teachers (long story on that one) but they don't think it's severe or their just brushing off what I say so left it alone and no one else knows. I don't want to burden them with my problems tbh but might need to if this gets worse...

    funnily enough I want to be a clinical psychologist so need to get this under control
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    You need to see a doctor or else when you go to uni, it's going to get so much worse and it will affect your academic performance as well as your social life. I have a very similar problem and I suffer from most of the things you described in your first post though less severe. It had affected my uni life and made me underachieve. As a result I'm currently taking a year out to catch up. My doctor put me on some anti- anxiety drugs and I felt much better after I've talked to her about it. You really should let your family understand how much it's affecting you and talk to your doctor about it, you still have a year to improve, that's a long time. Trust me it's not going to go away if you leave it.
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    (Original post by graveyarddreams)
    You need to see a doctor or else when you go to uni, it's going to get so much worse and it will affect your academic performance as well as your social life. I have a very similar problem and I suffer from most of the things you described in your first post though less severe. It had affected my uni life and made me underachieve. As a result I'm currently taking a year out to catch up. My doctor put me on some anti- anxiety drugs and I felt much better after I've talked to her about it. You really should let your family understand how much it's affecting you and talk to your doctor about it, you still have a year to improve, that's a long time. Trust me it's not going to go away if you leave it.
    yeah I know it'll get worse as it already has gotten worse since the start of this year...which terrifies me on how much worse it can get...
    ...I'd tell my family but they already make fun of me not wanting to go out with them and my dad and sister call me a freak and I'm unsure how they'll react to the thought of me having Social Anxiety and once it's said I can't take it back which worries me...

    I just wish I knew why out of all my family I ended up with this disorder
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    I know it's hard but telling this to your parents will make things much easier for you. Our parents are very good at seeing the good sides of us, and ignoring potential problems. But I well and truely doubt that your parents will want anything other than for you to get better, especially if they see how much this is distressing you (and in a situation like this don't be afraid to show them how you feel. We often try and protect our parents, and it's actually the other way round!)

    Either way, an online cbt programme, like someone else suggested, is a good start. I've tried a programme called beatingtheblues in the past which deals with both anxiety and depression.

    But saying that, if you can get on the waiting list for actual cbt you might find it more effective. Pills are obviously an option, but not a long term solution

    You must be so exhausted and you're so strong. But you are coping. Maybe it doesn't feel like it right now but you're going to go to university and go to America and you're not going to let this stop you. And it will only make you a stronger person.

    Maybe for the time being question your train of thought (good practice for your future career). If you feel like you can't open an email, why? The contents will still be there whether or not you wait.

    And panic attacks you can get under control with practice. Someone taught me some hypnotherapy techniques that I'll happily share with you if you want to PM me
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    (Original post by lazza)
    I know it's hard but telling this to your parents will make things much easier for you. Our parents are very good at seeing the good sides of us, and ignoring potential problems. But I well and truely doubt that your parents will want anything other than for you to get better, especially if they see how much this is distressing you (and in a situation like this don't be afraid to show them how you feel. We often try and protect our parents, and it's actually the other way round!)

    Either way, an online cbt programme, like someone else suggested, is a good start. I've tried a programme called beatingtheblues in the past which deals with both anxiety and depression.

    But saying that, if you can get on the waiting list for actual cbt you might find it more effective. Pills are obviously an option, but not a long term solution

    You must be so exhausted and you're so strong. But you are coping. Maybe it doesn't feel like it right now but you're going to go to university and go to America and you're not going to let this stop you. And it will only make you a stronger person.

    Maybe for the time being question your train of thought (good practice for your future career). If you feel like you can't open an email, why? The contents will still be there whether or not you wait.

    And panic attacks you can get under control with practice. Someone taught me some hypnotherapy techniques that I'll happily share with you if you want to PM me

    my parents are to some extent but they then spread any news to other family members regaurdless of whether I asked them not to so I guess that's why I'm a bit worried about telling them:o:

    I'll try that with the e-mails...it's odd I don't know what's stopping me from opening them tbh...getting exam results will be fun lol I'll try that though next time I check my e-mails hopefully it helps :hugs: and I sent you a PM on the hypnotherapt techniques
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    books don't really help...the ones I've looked at anyway I just might not have found the right one yet.

    well I'll be going to uni in 2011 so that's 2 years away...I'll be hopefully living away from home then but depends on which uni I end up getting into...
    I have the overcoming anxiety and depression for dummies workbook, i find its helping somewhat
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    (Original post by Anonymous)

    I can't do this anymore I don't know what to do...I hate this anxious feeling...the thing is I'm leaving the country next september (2010) for university in america so if I get help in the UK I'd fear as if I'm wasting their time as I'm leaving next year...my sisters getting to see a psychiatrist due to mood swings but my parents just think I'm shy so don't bother and I'm to shy to say anything!

    I just want this anxious feeling to go away...Any advice please!?!

    I know exactly what you mean - I am the only person in my family to have had trouble with mental illness. I get anxiety problems but they come in phases, the last time I had troube with it was about 9 months ago. I get really shaky (as in the muscles, mostly in my legs, start spasming) and I can't stop it, I sweat, I get cold, I start being sick. Whenever I get my anxiety problems, I get depressed, too. This is apparently really common to have anxiety disorders and depression at the same time as they sort of feed each other. As a result of the anxiety I wasn't doing anything with myself so I felt like **** most of the time.

    Because I'm the only one around me to have mental health issues I just feel so isolated and it feels like no one is really taking me seriously when I get it. I just get this kind of "Oh, you'll be fine tomorrow" kinda attitude which makes me feel worse because it's like they don't care.

    I've had counselling for this before and it really helped, and that finished last autumn but now all my symptoms are coming back again so I want to get this sorted before I go to uni in september 2010 (much like you). Don't worry, you won't be wasting their time at all and they wouldn't think that of you. I think you should get the help you need now before it's too late x
 
 
 
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