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Do you ever compare yourself to your boyfriends ex? Watch

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    I know this is totally stupid and you are all gonna tell me to get over it and think about that fact that he is with me now. But i just can't help comparing myself to her. Its not like he talks about her all the time and he doesn't talk about her affectionatley at all in fact he hates her and i know why but when he mentions the things that were good in their relationship i feel really bad. Apparently she was more adventurous in bed and was really good at giving head which he knows is something i'm insecure about. Also they lived together which is something he knows i really want but he is hesistant to live with me cos of what happened with her (we've been together for 4 years and although are planning a future together, we aren't living together yet) and also he talks about whats going on with her now, she is married and pregnant and it makes me feel like she can be happy after the disgusting way she treated my boyfriend and my relationship is suffering because of it cos she has everything i want. I don't really have any right to blame her for the things that i feel are wrong in my relationship and i know its crazy but she just seems the easiest person to blame, but its getting me down.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I know this is totally stupid and you are all gonna tell me to get over it and think about that fact that he is with me now. But i just can't help comparing myself to her. Its not like he talks about her all the time and he doesn't talk about her affectionatley at all in fact he hates her and i know why but when he mentions the things that were good in their relationship i feel really bad. Apparently she was more adventurous in bed and was really good at giving head which he knows is something i'm insecure about. Also they lived together which is something he knows i really want but he is hesistant to live with me cos of what happened with her (we've been together for 4 years and although are planning a future together, we aren't living together yet) and also he talks about whats going on with her now, she is married and pregnant and it makes me feel like she can be happy after the disgusting way she treated my boyfriend and my relationship is suffering because of it cos she has everything i want. I don't really have any right to blame her for the things that i feel are wrong in my relationship and i know its crazy but she just seems the easiest person to blame, but its getting me down.
    they're not the sort of things you tell a new girlfriend, so I can understand why you're feeling a bit insecure. Have you just told him that you don't want to hear about her?
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    I totally understand how you feel, I've been through almost exactly the same. we've broken off tho, but not cos of that.
    It was really annoying, and I probably thought about it way more than he did, as it seems you do.
    You guys have been together for 4 years, you should really try to talk to him about this! You've been with him for so long, you should _never_ have to feel like you're the second prize. You're not. For sticking in a relationship that long, and not leaving the second he mentioned his ex, you deserve gold, baby.
    You go tell him that! Honestly, you should! Don't wait until it bottles up and it all comes out at once, talk to him while you're "only" hurt and not furious as well. Sit down with him, and spell it out for him.

    You won't get more adventurous in bed by him making you feel more insecure anyway.
 
 
 
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