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    Recently one of my friends labelled me as boring and claims i have no spontaneity, this is because we got into a conversation where we discussed the fact i don't like drugs and don't want to ever do them. He used to do drugs but says he stopped now, but he can't understand why i'm so against them, he claims that i'm too good, i'm a goody two shoes because i won't do anything "bad" e.g. i won't have one night stands or steal stuff for a laugh, but i still go out and get drunk etc. Even someone else labelled me as too sensible the other day. How can I break out of this? everytime i come across something like this, i just see it as bad, and the whole of me says no to it and i just want nothing to do with these sort of things. It even caused me problems with my ex, as he did a bit of weed and started taking pills, i said it's your life, do want you want, but i don't want to be involved with all that stuff, he'd still argue with me about legalising it. Problem is , i'm at uni, so can't really avoid things like casual sex and drugs but yet the majority of people i know do it and yet i'm so uncomfortable around it, especially when they do it in front of me . How can i learn to be more tolerant and spontaneous with these sorts of things?
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    Well the friend sounds like an idiot tbh, I'm sure you're not boring, you sound like me! You don't need to do drugs or drink alcohol to be spontaneous
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    Well if it is anything i think that the things you highligted are things i wouldnt do either, drug taking and stealing probably best to stay away from them, if you dont want to do it, people can do what they want so as long as you dont look down at them for it, there is no reason they should judge you for not doing it. It is unfair that they brand you boring for that, as im sure your not.

    I think as long as you dont make an issue out of the things they do and you dont, they shouldnt really have anything to complain about.
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    Don't worry, you're not borng because of that stuff
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    Oh my God, I could have written that myself! Well to be honest I've never been called boring, but I guess more "goody two shoes" with the attitude particularly towards drugs (and the part about an ex into weed).
    What do you mean more tolerant? As you said, you have no problem with other people doing these things. I'm the same, people can make their own decisions I'm not going to preach to anyone, but at the end of the day do you really want to change your morals and what you believe in so you're not labelled "boring"?
    No you may not be able to avoid these things but you can not be involved with them. I guess its up to you, its easy to shake this label (well in the eyes of those who gave it to you) by sleeping around and doing drugs, but is that really what you want to be doing? Its up to you.
    Personally my criteria for boring aren't not doing drugs and not having one nights stands- because in which case me and most of my friends are "boring". You have your idea of having a good time and stick with it I say!
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    Why do you want to? I'm sure it's awesome for them but tolerance goes both ways. You don't have to do what they like and they don't have to do what you like. They need to practice what they preach quite frankly. (And I would hope "spontaneity" consisted in more imaginative acts than doing drugs [original :rolleyes:], having casual sex and getting drunk.)

    Is that even helpful? Meh.
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    I dont do drugs, I've never smoked either. Lots of people are shocked as my friends do it. There is one guy I have known for years and am close to, he has tried drugs before and it really upset me as I see him as a 'brother' cheesy but still, he doesn't do drugs now. In regards to less close friends, they can do what they want. Most will grow out of it, others will get addicted to harder drugs and mess themselves up, too cowardly to say no.

    Just because I don't do drugs my friends don't call me boring!? Jeeez, get new friends.
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    (Original post by bobbyjohannah)
    Recently one of my friends labelled me as boring and claims i have no spontaneity, this is because we got into a conversation where we discussed the fact i don't like drugs and don't want to ever do them. He used to do drugs but says he stopped now, but he can't understand why i'm so against them, he claims that i'm too good, i'm a goody two shoes because i won't do anything "bad" e.g. i won't have one night stands or steal stuff for a laugh, but i still go out and get drunk etc. Even someone else labelled me as too sensible the other day. How can I break out of this? everytime i come across something like this, i just see it as bad, and the whole of me says no to it and i just want nothing to do with these sort of things. It even caused me problems with my ex, as he did a bit of weed and started taking pills, i said it's your life, do want you want, but i don't want to be involved with all that stuff, he'd still argue with me about legalising it. Problem is , i'm at uni, so can't really avoid things like casual sex and drugs but yet the majority of people i know do it and yet i'm so uncomfortable around it, especially when they do it in front of me . How can i learn to be more tolerant and spontaneous with these sorts of things?
    Who cares? Its only a bit of weed - its not going to kill you, and is not addictive, get over it.

    Just chill out. Obviously you probably shouldn't engage in vice the whole time, but taking drugs once a week for a few years in your youth is hardly the worst thing in the world. I think your probably overestimating the negative effects of these things.

    Although I guess with casual sex I understand more
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    i can be tolerant of what they do, but yet they have a problem with the fact i don't do the things they do, like they'll be passing round a joint asking why i don't want some or why i don't get with guys and that oh i must be missing sex now surely? and that sex is just sex, and alcohol is just as bad as drugs, stop being so uptight etc just seems like a lot of the people i know want to be "bad" and don't like the fact i don't and that i like the way i am.
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    Stick to your guns and don't let peer pressure influence your decisions, particularly where drugs and sex are involved.
    There is nothing boring about not wanting to take drugs or have sex, you just sound more mature than them. If you respect their decisions, they should respect yours.
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    your friend is just trying to pass of his own guilt and inadequacies onto you. they feel guilty for doing drugs and they envy your willpower and strength to say "no". they are probs trying to tempt you into doing the drugs so they feel better about doing it themselves. tbh i wouldnt consider anybody like that as my friend, if they really liked you, they would respect your decisions.
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    I have utmost respect for the op
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    Props to OP.

    Gotta stick to your principles. I drink, smoke and have casual sex, I wouldn't for a second even think about trying to encourage other people to do the same if they didn't want to.

    And to echo someone elses post: drinking, doing drugs and shagging is hardly original or spotaneous. If you wanna be more spontaneous take up something cool like a new hobby or something.
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    Maybe they are just worried about you being judgmental of them - are you? Not to be argumentative, but it's hard to have an equal relationship with someone whose activities you judge.

    EDIT: good for you for holding out and respecting your values, though. I'm just trying to offer some insight into what they are thinking, maybe. Not doing drugs absolutely DOES NOT make you boring =)
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    (Original post by bobbyjohannah)
    Recently one of my friends labelled me as boring and claims i have no spontaneity, this is because we got into a conversation where we discussed the fact i don't like drugs and don't want to ever do them. He used to do drugs but says he stopped now, but he can't understand why i'm so against them, he claims that i'm too good, i'm a goody two shoes because i won't do anything "bad" e.g. i won't have one night stands or steal stuff for a laugh, but i still go out and get drunk etc. Even someone else labelled me as too sensible the other day. How can I break out of this? everytime i come across something like this, i just see it as bad, and the whole of me says no to it and i just want nothing to do with these sort of things. It even caused me problems with my ex, as he did a bit of weed and started taking pills, i said it's your life, do want you want, but i don't want to be involved with all that stuff, he'd still argue with me about legalising it. Problem is , i'm at uni, so can't really avoid things like casual sex and drugs but yet the majority of people i know do it and yet i'm so uncomfortable around it, especially when they do it in front of me . How can i learn to be more tolerant and spontaneous with these sorts of things?


    Sounds to me like you have morals, self respect and no desire to self desruct
    I don't see where you're going wrong!
    To be honest, you sound exactly like me and I know for a fact that I'm not boring.
    If anything, you're probably the least boring, because you don't need to be high, or having casual sex to have a good time.
    Everyone to their own though, an if your so called friends do want to be doing such things, then let them. It shouldn't have to affect your behaviour and your morals. The second any of your friends start to suggest that it does, is when peronally I'd start doubting them as a true friend.
    Don't succumb to peer pressure, afterall you're the one with the bright future ahead of your and to me that seems a hell of a lot less boring than someone stooping to all kinds of levels just to feed a habit.
    Good luck xxx
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    I wouldn't recommend stealing or hard drugs. That said, just because the law says a certain drug is illegal, it doesn't necessarily mean it is all that bad. Generally some people have an attitude of "drugs are bad" and are very judgemental of others who decide to experiment. These people can be seen as boring.

    It's like i know people that are willing to drink alcohol quite heavily, but fail to see that overall alcohol is responsible for more suffering than many other drugs. When you see these irregularities in the law, ie ban ecstacy but legalise alcohol, i think it is difficult to be so convinced that illegal equals bad.
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    I'm curious about the person who negged me
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    That's ridiculous. You're not boring because you don't do drugs/have casual sex. You're boring if you have no hobbies, aren't interesting, have no conversational skills, aren't charismatic etc... not because you don't take drugs. That's really stupid.

    I do takes drugs, but I have friends who don't and I don't think they're boring at all. They make their choices, I make mine. I think my life is richer for taking drugs, but I have no qualms about people that don't. The only thing I hate it people lecturing me about it.

    You don't have a problem, and there's nothing you should do to change it. As long as you're not lecturing your friends and just leave them to it, you're fine imo.
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    there's nothing more boring than the cycle of getting high and suffering on a come down, then getting high again.. its all very mundane.

    One of my mates called me boring when i decided i was getting a bit too drunk on a night out and decided to get a pint of water at the bar... all i could think to myself was.. well hearing about 'last night, oh my god, we were so drunk and like fell over and then we went to this bar and she was like wasted in the loo and ohh im so hung over' can get really boring when you've heard it for the 57890573289523 time in a week,
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    You don't need to have meaningless one night stands or have to get stoned to have fun...i don't do either and am still spontaneous and not boring. So don't listen to what your friend said as you don't need to do those things to not be labelled as boring. However you could try to be spontaneous in other ways...
 
 
 
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