am I kidding myself Watch

Delta Usafa
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#41
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#41
(Original post by Low Key)
People are discussing morality, which is a believe as much as religion. If we can't discuss that, we can't discuss anything.
But the OP's faith isn't a variable in this equation. It's a constant, and the question needs to be taken into consideration with that constant in mind.
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Morlock
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#42
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#42
(Original post by Low Key)
I reassert my point that the crux of the issue is religion...
I disagree, a moral compass based on religion is incidental.
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Low Key
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#43
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#43
(Original post by Delta Usafa)
But the OP's faith isn't a variable in this equation. It's a constant, and the question needs to be taken into consideration with that constant in mind.
It is variable. People convert/wake up all the time. But I've agreed not to discuss it so it can rest.
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Delta Usafa
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#44
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#44
(Original post by Low Key)
It is variable. People convert/wake up all the time. But I've agreed not to discuss it so it can rest.
It's only variable if the person actually wants to be open to that possibility. The OP is not going to quit her beliefs to satisfy her boyfriend.

Glad it's rested though, so we can get to real solutions.
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clare.is.rice
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#45
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#45
ok so, say I did break up with my boyfriend, how should I do it? I he asks why what should I say, sever all contact after or try a remain friends. I'm not saying I will but its an option it sounds like I need to consider. I don't want to be mean, but it sounds like its too late.
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Davezk
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#46
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#46
(Original post by Delta Usafa)
It's only variable if the person actually wants to be open to that possibility. The OP is not going to quit her beliefs to satisfy her boyfriend.

Glad it's rested though, so we can get to real solutions.
One of my friends is getting married and part of the reason she revealed is the sexual frustration - they've been together 5 years.

Religion in relationships throws up so much trouble and personally I will never understand why people blindly follow certain expectations rather than actually live their own life how they want to. Clearly the OP enjoys the intimacy so why stop because someone says you shouldn't be enjoying it because it's 'bad' or 'a sin'.

Besides catholics for example can do it and just confess it all which makes it ok then. Religion is so flawed but thats another issue altogether.
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Davezk
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#47
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#47
(Original post by clare.is.rice)
ok so, say I did break up with my boyfriend, how should I do it? I he asks why what should I say, sever all contact after or try a remain friends. I'm not saying I will but its an option it sounds like I need to consider. I don't want to be mean, but it sounds like its too late.
Tell him the truth. As I said, you can't follow religious morals and then tell him false things to hide the real reason or just lead him on for your own selfish reasons. Those are the real sins, not a bit of sex.
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Delta Usafa
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#48
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#48
(Original post by Davezk)
One of my friends is getting married and part of the reason she revealed is the sexual frustration - they've been together 5 years.

Religion in relationships throws up so much trouble and personally I will never understand why people blindly follow certain expectations rather than actually live their own life how they want to. Clearly the OP enjoys the intimacy so why stop because someone says you shouldn't be enjoying it because it's 'bad' or 'a sin'.

Besides catholics for example can do it and just confess it all which makes it ok then. Religion is so flawed but thats another issue altogether.
Catholics just going ahead and doing it so they can confess and make it better is a giant slap in the face to God and the gift he gave us.

Also, the Bible says that if you're sexually frustrated, go ahead and get married. So who cares?

Christianity doesn't deprive people of sex. It may limit the number of people the have sex with or make them wait a little while, but who cares? Waiting a couple extra years never ruined anyone's life.

Plus, you can have intimacy without sex.

(Original post by clare.is.rice)
ok so, say I did break up with my boyfriend, how should I do it? I he asks why what should I say, sever all contact after or try a remain friends. I'm not saying I will but its an option it sounds like I need to consider. I don't want to be mean, but it sounds like its too late.
Break up with him by explaining that it's what's best for both of you. He wants sex, you don't. It's only logical that you don't put him through that. Stay friends with him if you think you can do it without being tempted.
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Morlock
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#49
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#49
(Original post by clare.is.rice)
ok so, say I did break up with my boyfriend, how should I do it?
Write a note and stick it under your bra strap, I am sure he will find it soon enough.

Seriously though, be honest about your reasons, different beliefs, morality, expectations, whatever it is that is motivating you to end the relationship.
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Davezk
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#50
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#50
(Original post by Delta Usafa)
Also, the Bible says that if you're sexually frustrated, go ahead and get married. So who cares?

Christianity doesn't deprive people of sex. It may limit the number of people the have sex with or make them wait a little while, but who cares? Waiting a couple extra years never ruined anyone's life.
Look, we're in the 21st century. People aren't getting married at 16-18 anymore. People want careers and other things before they even consider marriage, family etc. Sex and sexual intimacy is part of a healthy relationship because it's a way of expressing care/love for one another and why should you be married to have to do that?

Or am I going to 'hell' because I've had sex out of marriage?
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Morlock
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#51
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#51
(Original post by Davezk)
Or am I going to 'hell' because I've had sex out of marriage?
If you beliveve that to be so, then yes, you are.
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Davezk
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#52
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#52
(Original post by Morlock)
If you beliveve that to be so, then yes, you are.
I don't believe in afterlife and I don't think if there was then sex out of marriage is on a par with people who murder and rape etc.
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Delta Usafa
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#53
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#53
(Original post by Davezk)
Look, we're in the 21st century. People aren't getting married at 16-18 anymore. People want careers and other things before they even consider marriage, family etc. Sex and sexual intimacy is part of a healthy relationship because it's a way of expressing care/love for one another and why should you be married to have to do that?
People weren't getting married that young all that much in the 20th century either.

But again, who cares about how long you have to wait as long as you get it eventually? And so what if it's a good way of expressing your car and love? There are other ways to express love. And what's wrong with saving a certain level of intimacy for marriage? If you don't, you have nothing to give to your spouse that you haven't already given to someone else.

Now don't think I'm telling you not to live your life freely and have all the sex you want, because I'm not. I'm just saying that it's not unreasonable for people to hold these kinds of values.

Or am I going to 'hell' because I've had sex out of marriage?
That's silly. Asking if you're going to hell for one single sin when everyone commits far more than that.
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latot
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#54
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#54
(Original post by clare.is.rice)
ok so, say I did break up with my boyfriend, how should I do it? I he asks why what should I say, sever all contact after or try a remain friends. I'm not saying I will but its an option it sounds like I need to consider. I don't want to be mean, but it sounds like its too late.

Tell him the truth - it would be an insult to him otherwise - and i'm sure he'll understand... Also, talk to him about whether or not to be friends - it's a mutual decision
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Davezk
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#55
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#55
(Original post by Delta Usafa)
That's silly. Asking if you're going to hell for one single sin when everyone commits far more than that.
Then why not just bite the bullet and accept that a bit of sex isn't a bad thing even if it is a sin in your eyes. Besides my view of marriage is more it being a way or symbol of dedication to that person for potentially the rest of their lives. Why should you have to give more than that?
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Low Key
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#56
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#56
(Original post by Davezk)
Then why not just bite the bullet and accept that a bit of sex isn't a bad thing even if it is a sin in your eyes. Besides my view of marriage is more it being a way or symbol of dedication to that person for potentially the rest of their lives. Why should you have to give more than that?
Agreed. Plus, sex is bloody excellent. I mean really, it's awesome. Especially with me, but that's besides the point. Everyone needs to get a nice effing.
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Delta Usafa
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#57
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#57
(Original post by Davezk)
Then why not just bite the bullet and accept that a bit of sex isn't a bad thing even if it is a sin in your eyes. Besides my view of marriage is more it being a way or symbol of dedication to that person for potentially the rest of their lives. Why should you have to give more than that?
Because as I said, sinning just because you can get away with it is like crapping on God's gift to us. Not just the gift of forgiveness, but also the gift of sex. A fundamental Christian belief is that sex was created for marriage.

And some people have traditional views of marriage. Marriage in many cultures, and for a very long time, has been more than just a symbol of spending your lives together - but a dedication to share, exclusively, all of your lives together, and with nobody else.

Sorry if I sound preachy again, just trying to explain the other point of view.
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