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What if your boyfriend asks you to help his sister (12 years younger) on schoolwork? Watch

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    (Original post by xug)
    You are quite right but it is a bit hypocritical for me to do so. I help her out (which I'm not really sure whether I am successful) in order to make my boyfriend happy.

    Anyway thanks!
    why is it hypocritical ? Hypocritical is to say that you care about your bf and not giving a **** about his family, which obviously means something to him !
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    (Original post by Dodo XD)
    Haha, im sorry, its just the way you said all those things and then said Anyways, its your decision...never you mind i think its just my retard side kicking in
    lol... but it is her decision. We are here to judge and make her feel worthless but apart from that, it's up to her :p:

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    (Original post by Xristina)
    lol... but it is her decision. We are here to judge and make her feel worthless but apart from that, it's up to her :p:

    I knew it wasn't just me!!! see you find it funny too!
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    (Original post by utd88)
    what a dilemma you're in ..you were clearly born with a talent for decision making! (i was born with a talent for sarcasm, maybe you noticed)

    but anyway you woulnt be much use to her. Reading your 1st post you strike me as not being fluent in english? or maybe its just typos
    this. I would of soo dumped you.

    I think he was trying to find a nice way to let his sister help out with your English. A blind, french man (who may have the ginger gene) could do better.
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    (Original post by Xristina)
    lol... but it is her decision. We are here to judge and make her feel worthless but apart from that, it's up to her :p:

    Making someone feel worthless? Is that a good purpose?
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    (Original post by xug)
    Making someone feel worthless? Is that a good purpose?
    A. I was joking
    B. You said you didn't want to help his sister and you mentioned as one of the reasons that she is not that smart, are you judging me ?
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    Good call - why should you help her? You don't know her, and it's not like you're going to be going out with this guy forever. Besides, she needs to learn on her own or she'll be torn apart at school.
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    A++ thread
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    (Original post by Xristina)
    A. I was joking
    B. You said you didn't want to help his sister and you mentioned as one of the reasons that she is not that smart, are you judging me ?

    A: Joking? If you don't tell me now, I don't know. Please try to be specific in your words as it easilly causes misunderstanding without the detection of your mood in speech.

    B: Judging you? What do you mean? In my opinion, making people 'worthless' is something vicious to do but you have denyed you meant that anyway.

    C: One question, will you do all the things that your boyfriend ask you to do?

    Teaching a person is a meaningful thing but I have not yet known his sister enough and I have not yet loved his sister to offer my help for her.
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    (Original post by xug)
    A: Joking? If you don't tell me now, I don't know. Please try to be specific in your words as it easilly causes misunderstanding without the detection of your mood in speech.

    B: Judging you? What do you mean? In my opinion, making people 'worthless' is something vicious to do but you have denyed you meant that anyway.

    C: One question, will you do all the things that your boyfriend ask you to do?

    Teaching a person is a meaningful thing but I have not yet known his sister enough and I have not yet loved his sister to offer my help for her.
    A. I was joking, it was pretty clear, sorry if you don't like my hymour but that's it. I didn't want to make you feel worthless obviously, although I disagree with your actions on that matter.

    B. Sorry, I don't understand what you are saying I meant that by denying to teach a girl because she is not that smart, it seems to me that you believe she is worthless to be taught. So, I made a parallel between my behaviour and yours, giving reasons as to why you shouldn't be offended by what I said.

    C.I wouldn't jump from a cliff if he told me to. But if he asked me to take 5 ******* hours of my time, for 4 days, in order to help his little sister I would do it, yes.
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    Couldn't you explain that you would be doing a job and so therefore you should paying paid.
    That or maybe suggest that she should come to your house.
    I understand not wanting to do it, especially without being paid.
    I don't think it's very fair though to cite the fact she is uninteresting to you though and surely irrelevant?
    x
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    maybe the sister could travel to you?
    maybe BF could take your shopping/to a fancy place for dinner?
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    (Original post by helz_91)
    Couldn't you explain that you would be doing a job and so therefore you should paying paid.
    That or maybe suggest that she should come to your house.
    I understand not wanting to do it, especially without being paid.
    I don't think it's very fair though to cite the fact she is uninteresting to you though and surely irrelevant?
    x
    Yup, I may get paid if I ask for but surely it is bad to the relationship. At least, his parents will not like me in their mind. In our society, talking money with friends and relatives are avoided as it may hurt the feelings.

    I have suggested his sister may come to my house but it seems he does not like the idea. There are problems cause he may think it is troublesome to bring his sister to my home. Second, he will not feel eased to let her travel alone (neither do I ) because his sister (14 years old), slow to react with unfamiliar surroundings, may get accidents on the way.

    Is it irrelevant to cite the fact that she is uninteresting to me? I knew I should not have cited it because people will think I am arrogant, terrible, ***** (someone said), bad or deserved to be dumped. I cite the fact because I want to tell my situation clearly even it reveals my own dark sides that are subjected to be criticized. What will motivate someone to do a job? If not for money, it is for love. I can't ask for any rewards from tutoring his sister and ,regrettably adding the difficulty, his sister is not so lovely and interesting that attracts me to help.

    I feel it is easy for me to help my boyfriend directly but it seems difficulty to help his sister.
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    (Original post by No Future)
    maybe the sister could travel to you?
    maybe BF could take your shopping/to a fancy place for dinner?
    Thanks for your suggestion. Your first question I have answered in the first post. For your second question, it seems it is unlikely for me to do that. I am not a person who ask returns for doing a job to a friend.Either help or not help, but I won't ask for the rewards. It hurts feeling.
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    To be honest, I understand why this may sound a little cheeky of your boyfriend to "impose" this on you but have you talked things through with him. I think it is reasonable for you to refuse but I think your motives are all wrong. How can you say something like "she has a low IQ and is a burden". Come on, you worked in education yourself! Was this not because you wanted to help others? Are you saying you only have time for clever people?

    I basically think yoou are being extrermely selfish.There is not a hint of compassion in your post. It's all me me me. You present yourself as a victim. Save us the sob story "please say kindly to a person who is in pain now". It's no big deal. Talk to your boyfriend and sort it out.

    Have you thought about why your boyfriend wants you to do it? He actually cares about his sister, You obviously don't. If I were him, I would ditch you because you sound like a right miserable cow
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    Working in education does not mean I like to help others all the time I would say. In school, I would try my best to help my students as it is my responsibility but in private time I do like to be friends with clever people (sorry to say so).
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    (Original post by rudyrabbit)
    To be honest, I understand why this may sound a little cheeky of your boyfriend to "impose" this on you but have you talked things through with him. I think it is reasonable for you to refuse but I think your motives are all wrong. How can you say something like "she has a low IQ and is a burden". Come on, you worked in education yourself! Was this not because you wanted to help others? Are you saying you only have time for clever people?

    I basically think yoou are being extrermely selfish.There is not a hint of compassion in your post. It's all me me me. You present yourself as a victim. Save us the sob story "please say kindly to a person who is in pain now". It's no big deal. Talk to your boyfriend and sort it out.

    Have you thought about why your boyfriend wants you to do it? He actually cares about his sister, You obviously don't. If I were him, I would ditch you because you sound like a right miserable cow
    I don't think I present myself to be a victim. If so, I won't reveal the information I worked in education. Do you think I don't know that people will simply attack my personality because of this working area. haha instead, I feel I present myself as a villain or a human with weak spots like arrogance and selfishness.
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    hhmmm. And you're proud of it? There's something wrong with you.
    You're only doing this to seek attention. Me me me me me
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    You're Chinese, aren't you?
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    (Original post by xug)
    Dear all,

    I can't help feeling a bit unhappy / upset when I talk with my boyfriend. He wants me to go to his home to tutor his sister's writing. He hopes me to help her appreciate reading by introducing some good stories to her and check her comprehension. He expects me to go to his home once time a week in August (totally four times) to go to his home. It takes 40 minutes for going his home. Of course, I won't get money by doing that. (How can you request money...)

    I have resigned my education job and I am going to study a degree so I have the time now. However, I don't want to do it and I rejected my boyfriend. I have ever met his sister. His sister is 12 years younger than me, with moderate IQ (heartbreaking to say). In a word, his sister has a large generation gap and not interesting to me at all.

    I feel I am selfish and guilty for not making time to help his sister. Will you take this responsibility if you are asked to do so?

    I like my boyfriend because he is smart and caring but in a sharp contrast his sister is not smart at all and a lifelong burden...

    Forgive me to be this honest...
    I would like your comments but please say kindly to a person who is in pain now...
    "Working in education does not mean I like to help others all the time I would say... in private time I do like to be friends with clever people (sorry to say so)."

    Jeez, you know what? I am just going to be honest. I can not even get over your attitude. I seriously thought this must be a joke because I didn't think anyone could be that self-absorbed. I'm sorry to say that I read on and now believe it.

    It is your boyfriend's little sister, a little girl. She is struggling. You worked in education. You have nothing but time this summer. Yet you won't help because what? You won't get paid to meet with this girl four times?
    And this girl is 14 years old. You called her a life long burden because of her moderate IQ? How can you even talk about a human being that way, let alone a little girl? Seriously, who do you think you are?
    You know what, my IQ is in the top 2 percent in the world, I've never gotten less than a 97th percentile on any standardized test I've ever taken. But when my 14 year old sister needs help on her simple Algebra I help. And the same with my 8 year old sister. Because I can, it's not that big of a deal and my IQ doesn't mean I'm too good for that, or anything or anyone else. Tutoring kids is not exactly reading Faust, but not everything is about you and your intellectual stimulation. I seriously am so confused by this post. It's your decision, but if I were you, you're serious about this guy and you want his family to have a good opinion of you, I would do it.
 
 
 
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