The Student Room Group

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Reply 20
Anonymous
i have a bad relationship with my family and would consider leaving them

right now i can't cause i'm 16 and live with them...but in the future i certainly will, except for my mum, even though i do resent her like the other members, she'd be the only one i'd honestly be gutted if she died
i'm not close at all with relatives, except for a couple but only because i'm forced to see them

so yeah, i won't be keeping in touch with anyone but the mum when i'm completely estranged :smile:
which isn't really a sad thing, it's the only way i can finally get closure.

hey :smile: If you ever need to talk or just have a rant, then feel free to PM me. I've been through a lot with my 'family' and I couldn't leave as I was 16, too, so I understand some of what you must be feeling. I also miss some members of my family, the ones who weren't really that bad, and as you said, I would be sad if they died.

Hope things get better for you, and you manage to get away soon. If you just wanna chat about other things, i'm here too :smile:
KingJoe
Thanks, yes, it's not the easiest, especially as I have to get student finance now as an independent student, an had to convince them that i was estranged etc.

What happened with your family? :smile:


Sadly it was an incident over a few wills and stuff I think, but its been going on in the family for a good 10 years or so now.
Reply 22
haz220807
I am from my dad.

What happened, if you don't mind saying :smile: Or you could PM me if you'd rather.
Reply 23
CapturedSoul
My parents have always hated the idea of me being with my boyfriend. (They are Indian, he is white) We always have fights about it, especially when I want to see him for more than a day (thus spending nights with him) and living "that sordid kind of life", as they put it. They never will accept him, and in years to come, when we finally live together, I doubt I'd want to see my parents that much anymore, because of the way they have been.

That's exactly what my parents were like, and part of the reason I don't live with them anymore. they're no horrible directly to your bf are they? As my parents treated my gf very badly, and I hated it.
I'm beginning to become more and more estranged from most, if not all of my dad's side of the family. There are some of them I've not seen for years but frankly what you don't have you don't miss so its not something I'm going to worry myself about.
KingJoe
That's exactly what my parents were like, and part of the reason I don't live with them anymore. they're no horrible directly to your bf are they? As my parents treated my gf very badly, and I hated it.


Aww. They are not horrible directly, because they never see him. He never comes to my house.
I've been estranged from most of my family for about 5 years now, and in the time they've found out where i was living twice, so I have now got a restraining order on them.
Reply 27
CapturedSoul
Aww. They are not horrible directly, because they never see him. He never comes to my house.

How come? because your parents don't like him, does he mind this?
CapturedSoul
Yes, because my parents don't accept him. He does mind, but he know it's not my fault. He told me he won't make any huge effort to see them when we're older though.

Hi :smile: Can I just say i think you're really brave, so many people would have given in to their parents and just finished with their bf.
Reply 29
KingJoe
You're really lucky, you must be such a close family :smile: Good luck in the race by the way!


We are close! 4 kids in the space of 3 years (2 girls, 2 boys) just seemed to work in our family, while in others it might create competition between the siblings and resentment towards the parents (we were very poor growing up, no family holidays, hand me down clothes, both parents working 2 jobs...). Luck I guess and very dedicated, loving parents (didn't really realise this until I was about 18 though, sometimes you have to mature to be able to see what your parents have done for you, even if you think you're already mature). :dontknow:

Thanks! I've already done it though (really should sort the sig out). It was in memory of my mum actually, who died last year and was the heart of the family. Miss her so much. :sad:
I did 5k in 19 minutes and raised about £550! :proud: :biggrin:

Good luck with your family! I hope everything all works out, or even if you remain estranged, I hope you all find happiness and closure. :smile:
Reply 30
I will be, and it's more my choice.
Reply 31
Failed123
I will be, and it's more my choice.

Are you having problems at the moment then?
CapturedSoul
Thank you! :smile: I know the situation wouldn't change if I left my boyfriend, they would just get angry at another boyfriend (if he was white). Besides, I REALLY love my boyfriend so I'm not leaving him for their benefit.

Are you at Uni now, and do you still live at home? Why don't you move out, if you don't mind me asking?:smile:
Reply 33
my parents, my sister and i are estranged from part of my dads side of the family, it happened before i was born and resentment has been fostered on both sides. we're also estranged from my mums dad, again happened before i was born.
123qwerty
my parents, my sister and i are estranged from part of my dads side of the family, it happened before i was born and resentment has been fostered on both sides. we're also estranged from my mums dad, again happened before i was born.

what happened to split the family up? :smile:
Reply 35
KingJoe
Are you having problems at the moment then?

Yes, and also for as long as I remember.
Reply 36
Failed123
Yes, and also for as long as I remember.

If you don't mind me asking, why d'you think you'll be estranged from your family soon? (you can PM me if you prefer:smile:)
Reply 37
PrincessAriadne
what happened to split the family up? :smile:


some relatives on my dads side thought my parents shouldnt get married i think, so they stopped talking to them. ive only met them at a family funeral, we didnt talk to them, and then we didnt go to the wake because, to quote my dad "it would cause a fight".

ive never met my mums dad because he hates my dad. i only found out his name a few years ago, its just not something the family discusses. after hearing the stories from my auntie he dosent sound like someone i want to meet anyway.
Reply 38
Out of interest, how did you 'just' get estranged from your family? From what I remember that process takes a while...

Anyway, I hardly talk to my dad anymore, maybe four times a year on msn and once or so on the phone (birthday). It's okay. You just suck it up and move on.
123qwerty
some relatives on my dads side thought my parents shouldnt get married i think, so they stopped talking to them. ive only met them at a family funeral, we didnt talk to them, and then we didnt go to the wake because, to quote my dad "it would cause a fight".

ive never met my mums dad because he hates my dad. i only found out his name a few years ago, its just not something the family discusses. after hearing the stories from my auntie he dosent sound like someone i want to meet anyway.

You sound like what a child of mine in the future, might say:p: : my husband's family didn't want us to be together so they disowned him, and my father hates me, so i'm estranged from him.