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feel like poo :( watch

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    hey guys

    i just broke up with my girlfriend last night and i feel so confused and fed up a bit self pitying really seeing as it was my decision but i feel so bad for hurting someone so much :'(

    basically we did a long distance relationship while i was in my 3rd year of uni and the plan was always to get back and be a normal couple and spend more time together. trouble started about april may time where my relationship started to feel like a chore and it had gotten to the point where i didnt really want to make the effort to see her or even when she came to see i felt like it was too much trouble :/ granted third was year was intense and really stressful so it probably didnt help.

    i mean she is a lovely person, kind an hard working. but i always felt she depended on me because she never did anythin for herself it was always centered around me. not a bad thing right? tbh i wasnt really reciprocating it, i didnt want to because i just didnt have that same passion she did. and so it ended up with us having an imbalanced relationship. she was always so proud of me and looked up to me and was proud she was my girlfriend, i loved her but nothin to the way she felt for me i dont think.

    my point is is that i've broken her heart and i've never felt so bad, she deserves more than what i have been giving her. she deserves someone to be as madly in love with her as she was with me

    she got really fed up towards the end as you can well imagine and she came over yesterday, i had jus planned on chilling out and maybe doing somethin nice to try and make myself less of a pri*k. unfortunatly it was so awkward we both ended up asking whats wrong, why are we like this etc. and eventually it ended up with me saying maye we shud leave it.

    she hasnt taken it very well, saying why cant i do more and why am i not fighting for this, i've put everythin into this relationship....

    i know all this and i know i havent been doing these things but the situation has been stressing me and making me feel so crap for so long i just cant deal with it i know iv been treating her badly and i know its making her down and that in turn is making me feel so bad about mysel.f. i have trouble expressing my true feelings, i dont know why i think its because i try to avoid conflict and hurt feeelings but in the end its turned out worse.

    i did suggest taking some time off from each other and meeting up later but she said to make a decision, be with her or not. i had to say no because im just not there anymore. i hadnt seen her for two weeks up til yesterday and it all happened at once.

    right now i just feel terrible and sometimes remember how lovely and kind she was, but then remember the feelings that have brought me here now. i dont know what to think anymore

    i dont know what im looking for here, i just needed to write it down and get it off my chest. i dont mind being condemned but any helpful advice would be welcome.

    shiny x

    p.s. shes 20 and im 24
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    Move on. :yep: She will too.
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    Yeah, you're definitely ranting rather than asking a specific question, which is, of course, not necessarily a bad thing - it's a good thing to get it out of your system.

    As you said, it wasn't balanced. When a relationship loses the 'fun' side, and the 'happiness' there is no point in the relationship. It's better to look back at it in years to come and think 'that was a good part of my life' rather than 'that was uber rubbish.'

    Me and this guy broke up recently, and at the time I didn't feel anything; I was emotionless to it. But now, a week on, I feel dreadful about it. You could possibly realise you do actually like her more than you think. Give it a week, look back at this post, and see if any of it has changed. If it hasn't, then you need some form of closure and you need to rethink the situation.
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    My Best Advice is that despite this hurting you alot now, and probably will for quite a while there will come a time when you get over it. Just see it as a learning experiance, and trust me when you find someone in the future you will use this current experiance to make sure that things go the way you want. Also see it as a way of knowing what you want in a girl, and want you wouldnt want in a girl and im sure that over time (even though its hard now)...you'll be able to use these current feelings to make better desisions in the future
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    Try and stop feeling guilty, if it didn't feel right then you were right to end it. I'm sure you'll feel better in time.
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    If you weren't happy it's a fair decision to end it.

    I really think that if you felt like there was anything worth fighting for, you wuld have done. So rest assured that you couldn't have done anything more.

    You will both hurt for now, but it does get easier.

    Do you feel like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders by any chance?
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    At the end of the day mate, you did the RIGHT thing. Your instincts naturally told you that you weren't truly in love and it'd be a terrible thing to lie to her and pretend that you were.

    And hey don't go so harsh on yourself. You tried? For QUITE a while. And if it didn't work out then you did the OK thing.

    Put it this way, you may "feel like poo" but at least your conscience is clear. You didn't cheat / lie. You'd feel much worse if that was the case
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    Well having been the other person in the relationship, although at the time you want to still be with the person, in the long run you've done the right thing.

    Imagine if you strung her along even longer?

    It's nice to know that even the person breaking up with you hurts too. (I don't mean that in a sadistic way, just that you're not the only one hurting).
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    Of course she will be low for a moment, but your relationship didn't mean aything at the end so I've the feeling you too will soon move on and meet the right person. Stop worrying !
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    (Original post by shorty.loves.angels)

    Do you feel like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders by any chance?
    yeah i guess so, i mean i feel more liberated and feel i can go do things like organise work or go see friends without worrying about someone else, but i guess i do still worry about her too, i do care for her just not the same way anymore. she really doesnt want to talk to me (understandably) so i cant really do anything because anything i say is likely to just make it worse.

    stringin her along is what i tried to avoid because i really think if i hadnt done it while it came up it would have been dragged out for ages :s

    thanks for your helpful comments guys i realy needed it xx
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    If your heart wasn't in it, then it wasn't fair on either of you to carry on the relationship. There's nothing saying that you can't be friends in the future. Try not to feel guilty :console:, you did the right thing by breaking up with her, instead of stringing her along. She just needs some time to get over it.
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    (Original post by shinydemon)
    yeah i guess so, i mean i feel more liberated and feel i can go do things like organise work or go see friends without worrying about someone else, but i guess i do still worry about her too, i do care for her just not the same way anymore. she really doesnt want to talk to me (understandably) so i cant really do anything because anything i say is likely to just make it worse.

    stringin her along is what i tried to avoid because i really think if i hadnt done it while it came up it would have been dragged out for ages :s

    thanks for your helpful comments guys i realy needed it xx
    Just because you feel like you can't be in a relationship with someone doesn't mean you will stop caring about them. I still cared/worried about my ex for about a year. Now we hardly speak it is a bit different, but I still don't hate him!

    Just make sure the worrying about your ex doesn't stop you from enjoying your own life. You only have one life, live it your way. Chin up
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    thanks guys you've made me feel better about myself at least.
    i really appreciate the advice and comments its really helped

    thank you XXX
 
 
 
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