Please keep anonymous or delete.
Ok, i have realised that confidence isn't my problem. Self esteem is. I am ok talking to strangers and my skills. I know i can do anything i put my mind to and am good at alot of things and i feel confident in how i look.
What my problem is, is that i care alot about what others think of me. I value myself the way other's value me. When talking to people who i'm not really close with, i think about how they see me and try to analyse them and i guess seem really uninterested in them and can' think of what to say. Its not that im shy, its that im paranoid people won't like me, and think badly of me so im mostly on edge.
I could be in a fine mood, and then a friend or family member will make a comment on how i look, even something small. eg. you always wear those trousers, your sensitive, whats wrong, you look upset?' and it makes me feel even more self conscious that people are noticing all my bad qualities.
I know what i need to do is stop caring so much about what people think of me, but doing this makes me feel naive, that if i stop caring, then i am ust naive to the truth of what people think of me.
The root of my paranoia and insecurities is bad experiences tbh with ex's and i have had a friend or 2 go off with an ex which has made me feel like friends and bf's and whoever else is just going to mess me around in the end, and they can't like me that much.
I think the things i need to do are : stop caring what other people think, improve on positive thinking and to just be myself more. Does anyone else have any idea's or tips to how i can improve on these things? Thanks
Low self esteem and paranoia Watch
- Thread Starter
- 30-07-2009 03:33
- Thread Starter
- 30-07-2009 03:36
I am quite unhappy with the way i am, because i don't feel like i can just be myself and have fun
- 30-07-2009 03:43
People will form opinions on you - that's no biggie. Whenever you meet someone, you don't make them the centre of your world and vice versa so don't worry about it.
Just try to be happy with yourself. If you're thinking about what someone else is thinking of you, imagine they are thinking good things. Best thing you could do really is to ignore it and live in the now. These years will be gone soon and you don't wanna look back knowing you wasted them worrying about what some loser you don't know anymore though :|
- 30-07-2009 03:49
You could try a book? I was recommended "overcoming low self-esteem". I've not read it yet so can't say if it helps but it uses CBT methods which are apparently quite effective.
- 30-07-2009 05:42
try to develop an attitude of not caring about what they think..remember there are worse off than you. just don't give a ****, live your life the way you want to and try to love yourself regardless as you'll never be anyone else so no point wasting time on your faults. learn to love yourself i'm sure youre not that bad