Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    "Is your relationship stuck in a rut? Why not slowly drive your unwanted partner to the brink of white-haired, nail-gnashing insanity by treating them in an increasingly half-hearted fashion, occasionally punctuating your steady indifference with vaguely convincing declarations of love, just so they'll hang around long enough for you to make up your mind whether to jump ship or not? Why not stand back and watch as they gradually devolve into a nervous, servile automaton, a jittering zombie, desperate to make you smile again? And at the point where it all finally snaps, and those hot pitiful tears start dripping from their red-raw eyeholes, and their nose leaks demeaning snotjuice down their jumper, and their gulps and sobs arrive with such shuddering force and frequency as to render them dumb... why not start feeling sorry for yourself? Go on. After all, you're suffering too, right? Yeah! I mean, look how guilty they're making you feel... Hardly fair is it? Jesus, why can't they just pull themselves together? It's almost as though they're trying to upset you on purpose. ****, that's pathetic. Listen to those pleas, those spluttered pleas for reconsideration - don't they get on your tits? What did you see in this **** loser in the first place? Time to split, that's what it is. Woo hoo! Yeah man - run. Run like the wind. Set sail for new horizons. Bye bye depressionville. Stick a peck on their cheek and jump the **** out the door. And you're free. You're free! You scrubbed off the **** and you're free! Smile, damn you, smile! Pat yourself on the back! You deserve it! You won! You're the BEST!"
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    I think that you should just leave the guy alone, tell him you're not interest and quit messing him around, if he shows people the pic of you then it's just what you deserve to be honest.
    • PS Helper
    Offline

    14
    PS Helper
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So there's this guy. He likes me (i have been told this by his best mate and 2 other people). I'm not sure if I like him. He is not the best looking guy in the world but he is nice and sweet.

    I feel like I'm leading him on because I enjoy being made feel special. I have gone to his house a few times, including a few nights ago, and I sat on his lap and cuddled him in bed. The lights were off cos it wasnt dark yet so I couldnt really see his face but I almost couldn't bear to look him in the eye sometimes. I am reluctant to fancy people but when I do I always find something wrong with them to push them away.

    I keep thinking, right tonight I'll decide if I like him or not which involves me arranging to meet up with him again which is ultimately leading him on for my benefit surely. And when I do I just come away more confused than ever. One minute I'm pushing him away the next I'm begging for his attention - I always ring him when I'm upset and I enjoy his texts but I'm wondering whether this is because these are almost anonymous and there is no physical person attached to it so it is attention without seeing what he looks like.

    The other night I was drunk and sent him a photo - it wasnt a naked photo but it was an ambiguous photo of a curve of mine :o: , I tried to get him to delete it but he won't. He claims he hasn't shown anyone but he is very very tight with his friends and they talk about everything so I'm guessing this may not be true...

    I'm also worried what will happen with this photo if/when he gets the idea I'm not into him - he has been hurt by girls in the past and I just feel horrible but I can't stop. I'm worried itll end up on the internet and yes I know its my own fault for being stupid but I can't help but worry.


    What the hell do I do. I feel like such a horrible and manipulative human being, but I find myself looking at him and thinking ok I dont fancy him but then sometimes Im like hmm maybe hes not so bad. And I hear about all these other people fancying him and Im like, well, he can't be that bad can he? I know its ultimately how I feel but Im torn - thinking that I'm being overcritical but then I cant fight how I feel surely. But then I dont even know how I feel....
    Omg, Everyone is being so mean!! and its so unfair..

    its not like you can help how you feel! have you had a convosation about the "dates" and stuff? cos i'm suggesting that would be a good place to start... because you do really need to say that you enjoy spending time with him (a given from what you've said?) but you're not sure if you have "more than friendly" feelings towards him. I understand how you feel!

    are you attracted to his personality but not his physical appearance? or something like that?

    it also sounds to me like your a little bit scared of starting this relationship, and worrying a little bit too much about what could go wrong etc, so just try and go with the moment and see where it leads you? you can always arrange the meet up with "as friends" slipped in... that might help soften the blow, but you really should act like just friends until you've made you're mind up about him, otherwise you are blowing him hot and cold and yes, unfortunately leading him on..

    anyways this is a verrrry long reply, but I hope you get things sorted out xx
    Offline

    9
    ReputationRep:
    Yeah, you're being really really horrible. Stop it.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    You can't, and shouldn't try to make yourself like him. Don't use him to make yourself feel better - it isn't nice. Just tell him the truth, you don't want to give him false hope. And surely this guilt will make you feel worse in the long run.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Dropdeadfred2)
    it's all about you......he'd be better off without you as a friend let alone a girlfriend. you are the kind of girl that screws with guys heads
    The nicest way it could be put ^
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    I hate girls who mess with guys heads.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    get out of his life asap, you're a *****. sorry.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    thanks guys for your honesty. more replies welcomed
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    thanks guys for your honesty. more replies welcomed
    death via exsanguination...attention whore :dry:
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    hmmmm i did this....sorta....mine was quite tasty.....but ive now been going out with him for 6months and its actually going great .
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    http://www.theonion.com/content/opin...rted_dating_it
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    If you liked him you would obv just know you prob just like th attention he gives you. Relationships are not just about looks but you do need some sort of attraction. If you cant decide for some strange reason just think would I like to have sex with him if you think yes then go for it if you think no then stop leading him on
    Offline

    13
    ReputationRep:
    do you want sympathy or something?

    pathetic
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    from your post it really doesn't sound like you like him that much... let him know asap because its not nice to lead him on, you're stopping him from meeting somebody else and the longer you leave, the more hurt he will be...and the more likely he will spread your 'photo'.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    thanks guys. no i dont want sympathy but i was just airing the situation because i find it hard to stop myself and i just needed a bit of a reality check.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    I don't think you're horrible. I think you have experienced some genuine confusion about the exact nature of your feelings. However, I think it's clear from your post that you don't really like him in that way. Perhaps you have low self-esteem, hence why you were drawn to someone who was able to make you feel special?
    Offline

    2
    You know his past with girls, you know it's not been good, yet you continue to do this?

    Please stop playing with his heartstrings. You're not benefiting in any way, you're just giving yourself a false sense of security. He deserves someone that does like him. Or maybe there is and you're stopping her from telling him her true feelings towards him to avoid conflict.

    You can walk away from this situation so easily and you can stop a lot of tears.

    Go and find someone who plays the same game as you, or even find someone you are actually interested in.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    why would you send someone you don't even fancy a naked picture? That's more than just leading him on, that's like deliberately messing with his head..leave the poor boy alone!
    • #2
    #2

    I think I know how you feel, but I tried/am trying harder to do the right thing.

    There was a friend. I never had any feelings for him when we met in groups of friends. Then we went to the theatre together (our other friends just didn't want to see it/couldn't afford it - so it ended up as only us two). He met me beforehand, bought me coffee, talked about love, asking what kind of guys I like and said I was beautiful... then he held my hand through the second half of the musical. I knew I was leading him on by letting him, but it just felt so wonderful. I went home really confused, wondering if maybe I did like him. I decided I should probably know more obviously if I did like him, rather than only feeling all girlishly-fluttery when he held my hand.. so the next time I met him in a museum, I wouldn't let him. He took me to a house party at his place, but it turns out his roommate had fallen out with the landlord so the party was cancelled... since it took over an hour to get there, I stayed and watched a film with him instead. Then he made his feelings perfectly clear... and I replied in a fairly cold but not altogether mean way. He was moving from the country in 3 weeks for an indefinite period of time (it's likely he may never return) so when he asked me 'how would you feel if I said I think I am falling in love with you?' I paused, looked directly into his eyes and said 'I would feel sorry for you, because you are leaving so soon.. you can not fall in love with me'. He sort of nodded in a sad but understanding way.
    The next day he seemed very sad, quiet.. unlike himself. He wouldn't even hug me goodbye when all our other friends did. But in the longrun it is better and I asked him if he was okay, that I'm sorry I was just worried and he said he understood. He seemed happier the next time we met as a group of friends and was back to normal, talking and hugging.

    For the remainder of his time in this country, I do want to meet up with him again - as much as possible... because I do really like spending time with him. But, I am going to try never to let him touch me (beyond a friendly hello/goodbye hug), even though I know I would like it.. it isn't fair, because I can't make him fall for me further when I'm confused about my own feelings.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: July 31, 2009
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Brussels sprouts
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.