Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I don't really think you can put an age on that to be quite frank.. There is hardly a boundary as to when you are old enough to fall in love.
    If you wish to insist that I cannot love him, then fine. But I can assure you that I do, whether you choose to accept that or not isn't my problem =)
    The problem is that you think that you are in "love" at that age, when you aren't.

    You posted a thread and so I gave you my opinion. It's your life and you're free to do what you want. Just don't cry when you break up within the next few months or if he dumps you straight after you have sex. :rolleyes:

    You'll realise a bit later that you weren't in love.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Ilora-Danon)
    If your friend's opinions on your virginity, is something you're going to be swayed by, then you're better off growing up a bit before making that sort of commitment.

    When you have sex, it should be because you want to, and should be when you're able to make up your own mind without considering other people - if other people's opinions bother you that much, then you're not mature enough imo.
    The thing is, I have a large group of friends who will inevitably find out, things like this travel in an all girls school. As far as I'm concerned, they were shocked and seemed sort of ashamed when they found out I had even been "fingered" because they are simply naive to relationships having not been involved in them. I know that I would have reacted the same 10 months ago, but I think as you suggested that that is immature. But to have your closest friends look at you with genuine disgust, just because they haven't crossed that border which I think I have is most honestly the worst thing to experience. Its not that I care too much about them to do what I choose, its that I would hate to burst their little sheltered bubble in that way. That probably didn't make any sense at all, but its pretty complicated. I can't help but feel although I am doing this for me, I would be hurting them.. and you're right, that does sound very immature :/
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Psycho0101)
    The problem is that you think that you are in "love" at that age, when you aren't.

    You posted a thread and so I gave you my opinion. It's your life and you're free to do what you want. Just don't cry when you break up within the next few months or if he dumps you straight after you have sex. :rolleyes:

    You'll realise a bit later that you weren't in love.
    I don't understand how you can possibly determine that, I could make the same accusation toward you regardless of your age..
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Err well technically 16 is the age of consent, meaning that it's illegal to do it before that. But whatever, I don't fancy another big long argument about this, I've already posted my opinion on this matter on several other threads.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    I lost my virginity at 15.. i'd been with my boyfriend for 9 months and he was my first everything! First cuddle, first guy to hold hands with, first kiss.. everything!

    We were both virgins and eventually it just happened.. we didnt plan it.. we had spoke about it and we both knew we were ready and after 3 months of chatting again and again it just kinda happened x

    I don't regret it in the slightest.. 2 years on and still together!
    • #5
    #5

    OP, you remind me of myself 4 years ago.
    I lost my virginity at 14 to my long-term boyfriend, whom I am still with today
    I know lots of people will tell you that it's best to wait, as the relationship may not work out, but if you feel as strongly about your boyfriend as I did & trust him 100% ,then why wait?
    Age is just a number, it's how emotionally mature you are that counts in situations like this.
    However, if you think that your parents WILL report your boyfriend, then it is probably best to wait until you're 16 & legal.
    At the end of the day, it's you're decision & it's something that you will remember for the rest of your life, so please be sure that it's what you want before you do something you may regret.
    As regards to your friends, I think they need to grow up a bit - they've got no right to judge you &, if they do, they're obviously not great friends.

    I hope you make the best decision for you xx
    Offline

    9
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Aha, I love his face when he sings.. really quirky I suppose
    His solo on the violin of Lady of the sea was brilliant, I was really surprised how good he was live, its complicated to play and sing so well
    Yeah he's got such a knack for it!

    It's soooo great when he stamps on his little foot tapping amp thing aswell!

    Phwwooaar I love him so much!
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Psycho0101)
    The problem is that you think that you are in "love" at that age, when you aren't.

    You posted a thread and so I gave you my opinion. It's your life and you're free to do what you want. Just don't cry when you break up within the next few months or if he dumps you straight after you have sex. :rolleyes:

    You'll realise a bit later that you weren't in love.
    Bullsh*t!

    You cannot determine that! Some people are in it for the long haul and me and my boyfriend have managed another 2 years after our first time!

    And you may not think it is love but no one can put an age limit on it!

    Jordin Sparks - Young & In Love :
    "Don't they know what it means
    To be young and in love like that
    Who are they to decide
    If it's wrong, if it's right"




    Young people are just as capable of being in love than people in their 20s, 30s, 40s..

    How many people do you know who got married at 20? My grandparents (both couples) and my great grandparents were all married early 20s and are all still together! After 40+ years! If they can manage getting married at 20 and lasting then people getting together at 15 are capable too!

    My mum wanted me to wait when i mentioned to her i was considering it.. so i just didnt tell her, i was only a few months shy of 16 and she was none the wiser.. i told her a few weeks after my 16th that i had done it but didnt say when, i couldnt bear the idea of disappointing her x lol
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    OP, you remind me of myself 4 years ago.
    I lost my virginity at 14 to my long-term boyfriend, whom I am still with today
    I know lots of people will tell you that it's best to wait, as the relationship may not work out, but if you feel as strongly about your boyfriend as I did & trust him 100% ,then why wait?
    Age is just a number, it's how emotionally mature you are that counts in situations like this.
    However, if you think that your parents WILL report your boyfriend, then it is probably best to wait until you're 16 & legal.
    At the end of the day, it's you're decision & it's something that you will remember for the rest of your life, so please be sure that it's what you want before you do something you may regret.
    As regards to your friends, I think they need to grow up a bit - they've got no right to judge you &, if they do, they're obviously not great friends.

    I hope you make the best decision for you xx
    I agree with you 100%
    Age is a number! On what planet do people believe that the day you turn 16 you are all of a sudden emotionally and mentally capable to make decisions you werent the day before? It's ridiculous!

    If you are happy with him, if you want it to be with him and you dont think you'll regret it then why not? And ok.. say it doesnt last 'forever'.. why not enjoy the present and make sure you have no regrets in the future?

    I am so happy with my boyfriend after almost 3 years and would love to spend the rest of my life with him but in no world do i EXPECT it to last forever...

    Just be happy!
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    i'd at least wait till your 16. its not really too long to wait is it?
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by butthead7)
    i'd at least wait till your 16. its not really too long to wait is it?
    No offence meant and im not being confrontational.. but why do you think she should wait?

    What do you think she'd achieve by being 16?
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    (anon or delete)

    I want to have sex with my boyfriend but I'm 15.. I love him, I really do.
    He is the one thing in my life which I am totally sure about.
    I want him to be the one who takes my virginity, and we are ready to move our relationship on..
    The issue is I would feel so guilty because my mother trusts me to wait, and my friends would be shocked and disappointed which I couldn't handle. I don't want to upset anybody by 'not being able to keep it in my pants' as some would say. I could wait until the start of next year when I am 16, but I just feel ready now.. I am torn.

    Do those of you who lost your virginity before 16 regret it?
    Is it a bad idea to enter a sexual relationship, which would disappoint almost everyone you know?
    Trust me in 3 years time you wont be thinking the same feelings towards your boyfriend: FACT (tries to impersonate the person in the detol advert)
    you will probably break up and then post how miserable you are on TSR that you gave your virginity to him in the first place and you wish you give it to some other boy.
    I think you should just wait , honestly.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Psycho0101)
    The problem is that you think that you are in "love" at that age, when you aren't.

    You posted a thread and so I gave you my opinion. It's your life and you're free to do what you want. Just don't cry when you break up within the next few months or if he dumps you straight after you have sex. :rolleyes:

    You'll realise a bit later that you weren't in love.
    :ditto:

    teens often confuse being in love with having a crush. It's not the same thing. I think she should wait.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by PerthLady)
    Bullsh*t!

    You cannot determine that! Some people are in it for the long haul and me and my boyfriend have managed another 2 years after our first time!

    And you may not think it is love but no one can put an age limit on it!

    Jordin Sparks - Young & In Love :
    "Don't they know what it means
    To be young and in love like that
    Who are they to decide
    If it's wrong, if it's right"




    Young people are just as capable of being in love than people in their 20s, 30s, 40s..

    How many people do you know who got married at 20? My grandparents (both couples) and my great grandparents were all married early 20s and are all still together! After 40+ years! If they can manage getting married at 20 and lasting then people getting together at 15 are capable too!

    My mum wanted me to wait when i mentioned to her i was considering it.. so i just didnt tell her, i was only a few months shy of 16 and she was none the wiser.. i told her a few weeks after my 16th that i had done it but didnt say when, i couldnt bear the idea of disappointing her x lol
    its not ********, he or she was being totally reasonable. Just because your grandparents married young doesn't mean that everyone's the same. Plus, we live in different times now.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Eva2)
    its not ********, he or she was being totally reasonable. Just because your grandparents married young doesn't mean that everyone's the same. Plus, we live in different times now.
    right but i can tell you right now that even if me and my boyfriend split tomorrow that i wouldnt regret it being with him because of how i felt at the time and how happy i was when it happened...

    And the 'bullsh*t' was aimed more at the definite-ness of that comment.. it does happen, couples CAN last and although it may be believed unrealistic and unlikely, it does happen.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    OP, you remind me of myself 4 years ago.
    I lost my virginity at 14 to my long-term boyfriend, whom I am still with today
    I know lots of people will tell you that it's best to wait, as the relationship may not work out, but if you feel as strongly about your boyfriend as I did & trust him 100% ,then why wait?
    Age is just a number, it's how emotionally mature you are that counts in situations like this.
    However, if you think that your parents WILL report your boyfriend, then it is probably best to wait until you're 16 & legal.
    At the end of the day, it's you're decision & it's something that you will remember for the rest of your life, so please be sure that it's what you want before you do something you may regret.
    As regards to your friends, I think they need to grow up a bit - they've got no right to judge you &, if they do, they're obviously not great friends.

    I hope you make the best decision for you xx

    This is what I'm probing, I am just at a point where it doesn't matter to me that we are under age.. It just matters to them.
    We have talked about it from months also, I'm just thinking the only reason we are waiting is because of everyone else and not because of us. I just wanted to know if this was over shunned by our ever surprising society, the general TSR consensus seems to be that its my choice, I like that =)
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Eva2)
    :ditto:

    teens often confuse being in love with having a crush. It's not the same thing. I think she should wait.
    I have had crushes, this is different. Its just more.
    Every time I am with him I literally light up, he makes me smile inside and out, when he holds me so close in his arms and its as if nothing else matters. If I'm upset he just lifts up my chin, brushes the hair off of my face and tells me he loves me and it all just seems o.k again. I know thats really gushy and stereotypical but I really don't think I can describe my feelings for him, I just know that I want him to be the one.. =)
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by PerthLady)
    right but i can tell you right now that even if me and my boyfriend split tomorrow that i wouldnt regret it being with him because of how i felt at the time and how happy i was when it happened...

    And the 'bullsh*t' was aimed more at the definite-ness of that comment.. it does happen, couples CAN last and although it may be believed unrealistic and unlikely, it does happen.

    i don't know whether its me being old..cynical..whatever, but...i lost it to someone i was in love with, and had been with for a year, i was 15, and we were together for 2 years after that, and now..i'm almost 20, i do regret loosing it so young, i think anyone that age, at 15..is just so emotionally immature to know what they want, you're a teenager, your body is still growing and its a shame to see girls waste away their childhood on adult relationships and issues, i thought i loved my boyfriend....but love the concept changes as you grow and change, now i know what love really is, and the adult side of it, both areas of the relationship are more developed...and tbh, i'm sure you'll be saying the thing when you're 20, 22....regardless of who you're with
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    true but i know i wont regret it.. because its a part of my life i've enjoyed immensely and no matter what happens, no matter what unpleasant memories or experiences i end up with from this relationship.. the three years of happiness is still there.

    im not one for regrets.. whats the point? Have fun and care about the present.. the past means f*ck all in retrospect (within reason)
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I have had crushes, this is different. Its just more.
    Every time I am with him I literally light up, he makes me smile inside and out, when he holds me so close in his arms and its as if nothing else matters. If I'm upset he just lifts up my chin, brushes the hair off of my face and tells me he loves me and it all just seems o.k again. I know thats really gushy and stereotypical but I really don't think I can describe my feelings for him, I just know that I want him to be the one.. =)
    and although some will say it isnt love.. it is for you and as long as you are happy you do what you want!

    Live life to the fullest.. have no regrets.. be happy.. its a simple philosophy to live by

    Good Luck xx
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: August 7, 2009
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Has a teacher ever helped you cheat?
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Write a reply...
    Reply
    Hide
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.