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My parents are really hurting me. Watch

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    I've been with my girlfriend for about 4 months now, and my parents were really nice to her at first. She's a lovely person, quite shy, but really polite and kind, and my family all loved her. But now suddenly, my parents have turned on her.

    We were at a family gathering at my house, and my parents got quite drunk, and started coming up and calling my girlfriend a tart and other really disgusting names, and telling me to 'keep it in my trousers'. This is so ridiculous, as my girlfriend and I haven't had sex yet, and we definitely won't tell anyone when we do. My gf is mortified, and I'm so hurt that my family could behave like this.

    My gf got quite upset, and my mum started screaming at her to 'get over here', so my aunty physically pushed my mum out of the room, while my grandmother comforted my gf. i don't know what to so, and why the hell my parents think it's acceptable to treat people like this, especially someone they know I love, and who is so nice.
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    I'm sorry for you. Your parents are clearly irresponsible and took on the filthy British habit of drinking. It's not normal, it's just a desperate denial of failure and lack of motivation, hope and will power. Just be strong and try not to give your parents any reason to pick an argument with you or your gf.
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    Can I ask a possibly dumb question... is she the same race as you? Or is she much richer/poorer than you?
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    That's really sad. I guess for your own peace of mind, find out why they turned like that.
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    (Original post by EskimoJo)
    Can I ask a possibly dumb question... is she the same race as you? Or is she much richer/poorer than you?
    Good question.

    OP, your parents are clearly irresponsible and you should do your utmost to comfort your gf and tell your parents that what thy did was totally unfair.
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    They was drunk, how seriously can you really take it.
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    (Original post by amii_G)
    That's really sad. I guess for your own peace of mind, find out why they turned like that.
    I have talked to them, when they were sober the next day, but they said that me and my gf needed to lighten up. They basically completely denied anything went on, and it was a huge incident.

    (Original post by EskimoJo)
    Can I ask a possibly dumb question... is she the same race as you? Or is she much richer/poorer than you?
    No, we're the same race, and same class really.
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    (Original post by ma2k5)
    They was drunk, how seriously can you really take it.
    Well it sounds pretty serious to me - drunk/sober/high/sleepy, why should anything give you an excuse to behave like that. If they think it's ok to treat people like that, whether they're drunk or not, they need some serious help.
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    (Original post by amii_G)
    That's really sad. I guess for your own peace of mind, find out why they turned like that.
    What should I do now, as I can't just let this go. What if it happens again?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    What should I do now, as I can't just let this go. What if it happens again?
    Hmm, I'm no Dr. Phil (spot the American culture reference!), but I'd really sit them down and ask hard-lined questions. Maybe even ask your gf to come along to make it even more formal? It's really unfair that they put you both through that.

    Ultimately, never bring her round your house again.
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    Tell them that they were out of line. They are supposed to be the responsible adults, but drunk or not, that doesn't excuse their behavior. You wouldn't start screaming at their friends, accusing them of being swingers and calling them names, so why should they get away with it? Don't be rude about it, by all means, they are your parents after all. Just explain that what they did hurt you and your girlfriend.

    Of course, this is all conjecture, as we don't personally know you're parents or what they are like and never will, but these posts should give you some ideas on how to proceed
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    (Original post by amii_G)
    Hmm, I'm no Dr. Phil (spot the American culture reference!), but I'd really sit them down and ask hard-lined questions. Maybe even ask your gf to come along to make it even more formal? It's really unfair that they put you both through that.

    Ultimately, never bring her round your house again.
    To be honest with you I'm scared to approach them about it again. They were pretty angry the first time, so if I bring it up again ...
    And the irritating thing is that when they're sober, they treat my gf really nicely, and it makes her so happy, as she doesn't have a big family.
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    (Original post by ma2k5)
    They was drunk, how seriously can you really take it.
    I do believe there is a saying that goes "Drunk mouths speak sober thoughts."

    Anyway

    OP, that was really unfair for your parents to do something like that, especially as your girlfriend sounds like the perfect "meet-the-parents" sort of girlfriend. The only thing I can suggest is that maybe your parents don't like to see you with a girlfriend, as they don't want you growing up or something :confused: Highly unlikely though. I would talk to them... they can't deny it when you have witnesses!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've been with my girlfriend for about 4 months now, and my parents were really nice to her at first. She's a lovely person, quite shy, but really polite and kind, and my family all loved her. But now suddenly, my parents have turned on her.

    We were at a family gathering at my house, and my parents got quite drunk, and started coming up and calling my girlfriend a tart and other really disgusting names, and telling me to 'keep it in my trousers'. This is so ridiculous, as my girlfriend and I haven't had sex yet, and we definitely won't tell anyone when we do. My gf is mortified, and I'm so hurt that my family could behave like this.

    My gf got quite upset, and my mum started screaming at her to 'get over here', so my aunty physically pushed my mum out of the room, while my grandmother comforted my gf. i don't know what to so, and why the hell my parents think it's acceptable to treat people like this, especially someone they know I love, and who is so nice.
    Well I'd have thrown a drink in my mums face and maybe hit my dad by the time they were screaming at her. No excuse for acting like they did.
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    (Original post by MadJax)
    Tell them that they were out of line. They are supposed to be the responsible adults, but drunk or not, that doesn't excuse their behavior. You wouldn't start screaming at their friends, accusing them of being swingers and calling them names, so why should they get away with it? Don't be rude about it, by all means, they are your parents after all. Just explain that what they did hurt you and your girlfriend.

    Of course, this is all conjecture, as we don't personally know you're parents or what they are like and never will, but these posts should give you some ideas on how to proceed
    I told them that 'at the party last night you really upset Grace and me, and I think the rest of the family were really embarassed too'.

    My dad said to me that he had no idea what I was talking about.

    I then said 'when you and mum were drunk, and kept coming over to me and grace and calling her all sorts of names, and being really rude. don't you remember?'

    Dad said 'don't be ridiculous, you must be kidding dave? you and grace seriously need to lighten up, and stop accusing me and your mum of being criminals for f***s sake.'

    I said 'But dad ...' and then Mum said 'just go dave, i really don't know what's got in to you'.

    What more can I say? They've either blanked it out or they're refusing to acknowledge it.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I told them that 'at the party last night you really upset Grace and me, and I think the rest of the family were really embarassed too'.

    My dad said to me that he had no idea what I was talking about.

    I then said 'when you and mum were drunk, and kept coming over to me and grace and calling her all sorts of names, and being really rude. don't you remember?'

    Dad said 'don't be ridiculous, you must be kidding dave? you and grace seriously need to lighten up, and stop accusing me and your mum of being criminals for f***s sake.'

    I said 'But dad ...' and then Mum said 'just go dave, i really don't know what's got in to you'.

    What more can I say? They've either blanked it out or they're refusing to acknowledge it.
    Has this happened before with other people?
    What are your parents' drinking habits like?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I told them that 'at the party last night you really upset Grace and me, and I think the rest of the family were really embarassed too'.

    My dad said to me that he had no idea what I was talking about.

    I then said 'when you and mum were drunk, and kept coming over to me and grace and calling her all sorts of names, and being really rude. don't you remember?'

    Dad said 'don't be ridiculous, you must be kidding dave? you and grace seriously need to lighten up, and stop accusing me and your mum of being criminals for f***s sake.'

    I said 'But dad ...' and then Mum said 'just go dave, i really don't know what's got in to you'.

    What more can I say? They've either blanked it out or they're refusing to acknowledge it.

    Bring your Aunt in. Explain to her that you've tried talking about it, but they refuse to believe/deny any involvement and ask if she can intervene. Just make sure you are there when you all discuss it (With aunt in tow) otherwise you'll find they will discuss one thing with your aunt and something different with you (Or worst case: start yelling at you for going behind their backs). Plus, they are more likely to listen to a sister if she is on your side (Which she must be).
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    (Original post by Prince Rhyus)
    Has this happened before with other people?
    What are your parents' drinking habits like?
    No. I've only ever had just casual gfs before, no-one who I've been serious about, enough to bring to my house more than once.

    My mum has a glass of white wine everyday when she gets back, and most of my family gets drunk at 'parties'.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I told them that 'at the party last night you really upset Grace and me, and I think the rest of the family were really embarassed too'.

    My dad said to me that he had no idea what I was talking about.

    I then said 'when you and mum were drunk, and kept coming over to me and grace and calling her all sorts of names, and being really rude. don't you remember?'
    Dad said 'don't be ridiculous, you must be kidding dave? you and grace seriously need to lighten up, and stop accusing me and your mum of being criminals for f***s sake.'

    I said 'But dad ...' and then Mum said 'just go dave, i really don't know what's got in to you'.


    What more can I say? They've either blanked it out or they're refusing to acknowledge it.


    hmmmm it`s pretty dificult to tell at this moment in time exatly what the motives behind this are. Can you send over the full transcript of the incident and after further examination, I`ll get back to you. Thanks.
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    I don't get how you accused them of being criminals?
 
 
 
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