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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    How about if your family try to get you killed? What would you say then?
    That's a good point - my husband's family got him beaten up, and nearly killed, and tried to destroy him completely. This is one of the exceptions to your rule yasmeenax, and anyone who believed that it is 'his duty to remain in touch with them' after that ... well it would take my breath away, and I would really pity them, for if they were ever in a similar position, they would end up in an unenviable situation, either dead or under their parent's control for the rest of their lives.
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    (Original post by snipex)
    Well I'd have thrown a drink in my mums face and maybe hit my dad by the time they were screaming at her. No excuse for acting like they did.
    Likewise, I'd probably have slapped my mum and punched my dad had they humiliated my GF like that, fortunately they wouldn't.
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    (Original post by Yasmeenax)
    As I said before, distance yes but certainly not complete detachment.. That's all. Of course I don't feel that abuse is justified - I didn't even insinuate that. I apologise if I sounded callous, but it's just that I've known many who have gone through awful things with their families, yet have continued to be courteous, at least, regardless. I'm not implying that there is a 'one size fits all' approach to everything. That's obvious. It's up to each person, at the end of the day.
    so, what would be your answer? Josef fritzl's daughter, and the hundreds of cases like that - in your mind should the poor woman feel a duty to remain in contact with that monster?
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    (Original post by PrincessAriadne)
    so, what would be your answer? Josef fritzl's daughter, and the hundreds of cases like that - in your mind should the poor woman feel a duty to remain in contact with that monster?
    Frankly, I sh/couldn't say. It isn't right for me to pass judgement over anything I can't empathise with and has happened to someone else. It's down to her, and we both know the more likely outcome of that...
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    (Original post by Yasmeenax)
    Frankly, I sh/couldn't say. It isn't right for me to pass judgement over anything I can't empathise with and has happened to someone else. It's down to her, and we both know the more likely outcome of that...
    You really think she should feel some sort of duty to him don't you. That's is just so unbelievable, for me.

    haha, i think we should stop this conversation now, as we don't seem to be getting anywhere. Let's just accept we have different view points, and call it a night!
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    (Original post by PrincessAriadne)
    You really think she should feel some sort of duty to him don't you. That's is just so unbelievable, for me.

    haha, i think we should stop this conversation now, as we don't seem to be getting anywhere. Let's just accept we have different view points, and call it a night!
    Nah, I'm really not sure!

    Lol, I agree That's a phrase I haven't heard in a while :ahee: hehe.
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    (Original post by Yasmeenax)
    Lol, I agree That's a phrase I haven't heard in a while :ahee: hehe.
    Yeah, it does sound little antiquated now I look at it - but hey, there's no harm in being different :p:
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    (Original post by PrincessAriadne)
    Well it sounds pretty serious to me - drunk/sober/high/sleepy, why should anything give you an excuse to behave like that. If they think it's ok to treat people like that, whether they're drunk or not, they need some serious help.
    Drunk people, don't really think, do they...
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    (Original post by ma2k5)
    Drunk people, don't really think, do they...
    They say what they really feel, hidden under all those manners and common decency when they're sober.
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    (Original post by MadJax)
    It's best to get this cleared up as soon as possible tbh, so try and mention it to your parents again (Maybe on Saturday).

    If it really was just drunken banter taken too far (Which we've all done, lets be fair), simply explain that maybe they took it too far and came across as aggressive instead.
    hey. Well my mum and dad were in the kitchen together, and there was no one else around, so I though I'd dive in again, cos you said it was best to get it cleared up asap. I'm not sure what to do now though! It went really badly. I said that I wanted to talk about what happened on Monday night, and they both looked fed up. then I said that it really upset me, and I want to talk about it with them to get it sorted out. dad said 'i can't believe you're bringing this up again' and mum asked me why i was being so disrespectful and slammed her cup down on the table, and sorta came towards me really fast, so I backed away, and I ended up in a corner, and suddenly dad was there too. They both kinda started shouting at me, and i was trapped in the corner, and they were saying stuff like 'grow up' and dad said that he didn't think any son of his could be such a pussy. I had tears in my eyes, and i thought I was gonna have to scream or something to get them to go away, but eventually they just gave me a horrible look and walked off. Not the best talk ever - what the hell did I do wrong? I'm glad i'm anon, cos next i went to my room, and cried! i feel really hopeless now, and so weak and useless that i can't seem to have normal conversation with them! Why do i make them so angry!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've been with my girlfriend for about 4 months now, and my parents were really nice to her at first. She's a lovely person, quite shy, but really polite and kind, and my family all loved her. But now suddenly, my parents have turned on her.

    We were at a family gathering at my house, and my parents got quite drunk, and started coming up and calling my girlfriend a tart and other really disgusting names, and telling me to 'keep it in my trousers'. This is so ridiculous, as my girlfriend and I haven't had sex yet, and we definitely won't tell anyone when we do. My gf is mortified, and I'm so hurt that my family could behave like this.

    My gf got quite upset, and my mum started screaming at her to 'get over here', so my aunty physically pushed my mum out of the room, while my grandmother comforted my gf. i don't know what to so, and why the hell my parents think it's acceptable to treat people like this, especially someone they know I love, and who is so nice.
    This is terrible. Maybe they were upset about something else or something made them act that way towards you're gf. I would talk to them about it and ask them why they did it.
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    (Original post by nicola.kemp)
    This is terrible. Maybe they were upset about something else or something made them act that way towards you're gf. I would talk to them about it and ask them why they did it.
    Hi. I've tried twice now, and it has ended really badly (I've written in the post above this). What would you do in my situation?
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    (Original post by Lizia)
    Maybe I've missed it, but how old are you, OP?
    I'm 16.
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    (Original post by Kytiane)
    I do believe there is a saying that goes "Drunk mouths speak sober thoughts."
    :yep: The Romans used to make many important decisions first sober then they would get drunk and discuss the issue again, believing that this would lessen any inhibitions in making objections.

    Anyway OP, you parents sound like they have a few issues -- but so do I and my parents, so I'm not going to give you any advice! :rofl:
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    (Original post by PrincessAriadne)
    They say what they really feel, hidden under all those manners and common decency when they're sober.
    I agree.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    hey. Well my mum and dad were in the kitchen together, and there was no one else around, so I though I'd dive in again, cos you said it was best to get it cleared up asap. I'm not sure what to do now though! It went really badly. I said that I wanted to talk about what happened on Monday night, and they both looked fed up. then I said that it really upset me, and I want to talk about it with them to get it sorted out. dad said 'i can't believe you're bringing this up again' and mum asked me why i was being so disrespectful and slammed her cup down on the table, and sorta came towards me really fast, so I backed away, and I ended up in a corner, and suddenly dad was there too. They both kinda started shouting at me, and i was trapped in the corner, and they were saying stuff like 'grow up' and dad said that he didn't think any son of his could be such a pussy. I had tears in my eyes, and i thought I was gonna have to scream or something to get them to go away, but eventually they just gave me a horrible look and walked off. Not the best talk ever - what the hell did I do wrong? I'm glad i'm anon, cos next i went to my room, and cried! i feel really hopeless now, and so weak and useless that i can't seem to have normal conversation with them! Why do i make them so angry!
    feel sorry for you mate, no offence but your parents sound like ****. Have you talked to Grace's parents about it?

    PM if you want a good man to man chin wag (y)
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    (Original post by Rooster523)
    feel sorry for you mate, no offence but your parents sound like ****. Have you talked to Grace's parents about it?

    PM if you want a good man to man chin wag (y)
    I haven't but, Grace has I think. her Mum was pretty upset, obviously. I'm at a dead end now, what the hell do i do?! I really hate my parents for how they behaved, even if it wasn't to someone I love and care about, I'd be pretty disgusted by that sorta behaviour.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I haven't but, Grace has I think. her Mum was pretty upset, obviously. I'm at a dead end now, what the hell do i do?! I really hate my parents for how they behaved, even if it wasn't to someone I love and care about, I'd be pretty disgusted by that sorta behaviour.
    it does seem as though you won't get to the bottom of the issue.
    I'd knock in the head for the mo 'cos your parents obviously aren't swaying AND it's causing you a fair bit of stress. Some battles we don't win and I'm certain this is one of them.

    Chin up
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    I think they should issue a serious apology to your gf. I understand you probably don't want to bring it up again but I imagine your gf now feels seriously uncomfortable around them, she's probably wondering what they REALLY think of her as well because of the mixed messages.
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    (Original post by haz220807)
    I think they should issue a serious apology to your gf. I understand you probably don't want to bring it up again but I imagine your gf now feels seriously uncomfortable around them, she's probably wondering what they REALLY think of her as well because of the mixed messages.
    I don't honestly see what good it would do my bringing it up again, they clearly are either blanking it out or denying it. I was pretty flipping scared earlier to be honest with you, and I think my mum might lose it if i bring it up again.
    I am so sorry and embarassed for Grace though, she's such a nice person, and I'll never understand how they could be so vile to her. My dad called her a prostitute, just out of the blue, and started asking if it was a good job, and how much work she gets. I mean wtf???
 
 
 
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