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    So, is there a problem with the 18-30's even 30's is stretching it. Erm i think your rushing. At 44 compared to you he hasnt got long left. Sorry if it sounds harsh.
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    Atm I'm saying no don't do it, but when I'm 40 the advice I will probably be sure, go for it!
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    Well be with him if you want and he's GOT a divorce, not GETTING one. But for gods sake, don't marry him, that's just stupid!? And if you have them, lose the rose-tinted glasses and don't expect it to work. If it does work then you'll be pleasntly surprised. If it doesn't which i probably more likely, then you won't be hurt or used. And don't rely on him. (And before anyone comments - no, I'm not bitter and I haven't been hurt, I'm just deeply cynical about everyone lol)
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    I'm all for older guys. But marrying him? No. Don't even go there.
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    I think the age gap is wayy too big and the situation is far too complicated. I don't think at 18 you should be dealing with all of this. Is he really worth it?
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    hahahahaha yeah marry him
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    Marry + divorce = pay day.
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    jokes. unless youre in it for the money, terminate relationship immediately.

    seriously though, how can you, an 18year old, share a relationship with someone who is well old enough to be your dad??? it is quite weird.....
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    26 years is a bit steep.
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    #2

    i think the age gap is a bit big, but if u can make it work then its all good.
    marrying him!!..NO! he has just got divorced for one, what is making him asking him to marry you so soon afterwards?
    Also you said that your parents don't know about him..maybe you should tackle this first?
    I hope you get things sorted
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    he asked you to marry him JUST after getting divorce?
    weird. freaky. clingy. strange. rushed.
    run away screaming as fast as you can and get yourself well rid
    • #1
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    #1

    I just want to clarify:
    - I have a very healthy relationship with my father, which has nothing to do with this situation;
    - I do love him, im not with him for money or anything else like that;
    - I know he has asked me to marry him because he loves me, and the fact that he has just got a divorce shouldn't really matter in the situation because she will be out of our lives soon enough!
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    (Original post by No Future)
    no divorce, no chance. unless that happens and he properly separates you'll just be fun on the side. what 44 yo wouldn't love some 18 yo?
    not that i'm against older guys. older = usually better.
    Agreed. If you think you might be falling for him and it isn't just fun for you (which I'm sorry to say it probably is for him) then I'd get out whilst you can.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Ok - his wife has finally agreed to a divorce as she has realised they won't get back together - and he has asked me to marry him!
    He told me to think about it and I do love him, but im still unsure :/
    Thoughts anyone?
    if you're unsure then you definately shouldn't do it

    in my opinion, marriage is only for when inside you're saying nothing but "yes yes yes yes yes!" to yourself and it really doesn't sound like you are

    so in the short term, if you're enjoying the relationship then continue and embrace it but if not, don't beat yourself up for walking away

    i think when you're unsure, it's hard to know what to do as you feel like you'll be unhappy no matter what decision you make
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    What self respecting 44 year old would even go out with an 18 year old?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I just want to clarify:
    - I have a very healthy relationship with my father, which has nothing to do with this situation;
    - I do love him, im not with him for money or anything else like that;
    - I know he has asked me to marry him because he loves me, and the fact that he has just got a divorce shouldn't really matter in the situation because she will be out of our lives soon enough!
    LMAO how naive are you? He doesn't love you and if you think he does, you're stupid. He's even more of a nutter than originally anticipated by the fact he's asked you (someone he barely knows) to marry him.
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    Rebound.
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    He will never leave her for you.
    Sorry, but it's true about 95% of the time. Been there, done that... and it's OK if you only want something sexual on a regular basis, but if you want to marry him or be his gf properly, it probably isn't going to happen.
    I fell for a 43 year old man when I was 17... it ended badly as I was too young at the time, and now we no longer speak...which sucks because deep down I still want him so badly, no one will ever compare! I met him at a time when I was so impressionable, that I don't think I'll ever stop wanting him. I didn't want to marry him or anything (I don't even believe in marriage), I just wanted him in my life because no one has ever made me so happy.

    Why do you like this man and how well do you really know him (REALLY know him)? Does he flatter you and make you feel good about yourself?
    The truth is, however much he likes you, it's more likely an ego boost for him and it's making you feel attractive to be with someone older when maybe you lack confidence in yourself? He might realise that although you are attractive to him, there isn't much foundation for a proper relationship if that's what you are both seeking.

    If you just prefer older men, like me though, then why not? Have some fun and maybe you'll get more than just the fun.
    Just be sensible and aware that the chances of him leaving his wife properly or actually being very serious with you on a long term basis are slim, and the age difference will quite possibly end up meaning you want different things because you are at very different stages in your life. Even if you were a couple years older, the situation would still be the same (maybe a bit better, as you'd be a bit more mature but at the end of the day, it's still a big age gap even if you were 21).

    Saying he wants to marry you either suggests he is desperate... but to me it is more likely he is just saying what he thinks YOU want to hear in order to keep sleeping with you. I could be completely wrong, it does happen occasionally that people work it out. But you also have to think of the future if you want something serious... when you are 30, think how old he will be. Then the gap seems somehow worse than you being young and him middle aged. Would you want to be with someone so old when you are still in your prime?


    Also, when you look back in a few years, you will probably feel that you were actually still very young at 18.
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    Women who go for much older men and married men expecting a relationship are quite frankly naive and rather jaded. There are reasons very very few people end up with much older partners in the end, and its not prejudice, its the fact that these relationships rarely ever work out.

    OP I am sorry but you are being stupid, he is with you because you are an 18 yr old piece of tail that he is over the moon about sleeping with. There is no future in this relationship, he is manipulating you and taking advantage of the fact that you are young and rather oblivious. He is telling you he will end it with his wife and marry you because he doesnt want to loose regular sex with an 18yr old that he can brag to his mates about.
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    WTF. I can see 1000 bigger problems in this relationship than the age difference. MARRY him?? The fact that he is older does not explain such ridiculousness, in fact you'd think that he would be wise and know better than proposing so early in the relationship when you have never even lived together and you are so young - so he's either completely deluded or manipulating you for the sex. I would run far, far away. And I repeat, I don't think the age difference is a problem or shocking, he just sounds like a git :/
 
 
 
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