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    Anon please, friends on here.

    I've liked this girl for about 3 years now and have decided that I need to tell her how I feel about her, even if it's only so I can have closure and move on if she doesn't feel the same.

    I'm reasonably confident that she feels the same but it's hard to tell as she's really nice with everyone anyway. Also I was slightly drunk a few weeks ago and admitted to a friend that I liked her so she might have heard by now - I feel something's changed between us and she's either trying to make me jealous or trying to show that she's interested in other people.

    I've had chances before but I always panic, make excuses to myself etc.
    I'm 21 and have never done anything like this before, not even kissed or anything at all, which doesn't help. Also I'm kinda shy about that and so is she but I guess not so much. She even asked me several times on the same night before to dance, but I was terrified (haven't ever danced before) so said no sorry I'd really like to but can't.

    I know her pretty well, but since we both went to different unis we only really speak online and I rarely see her.

    I will see her soon and don't know how to go about it. She's really friendly anyway so I don't want to shock her or make a fool of myself while she's thinking I'm just being a friend. Also I really think I need to tell her and get an answer, and not just take the hint from things, so if it's a no I need to know for sure so I can move on.

    Help please, I need to do this so I can carry on with my life either way.
    Thanks
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    Living with regrets isn't a great feeling.

    Find an appropriate time/place and tell her how you feel (like your post) and ask her how she feels about you.
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    Er when his her B'day? If it was soon I would give her a kinda romantic (ish) present, or maybe a trip for two some-where etc. From her reaction you will know your answer mate. If not, then I would ask my friend to delib tell her, and pretend you don't know your mate told her? I know it's kinda the same of what you did, but again you would find out your answer the easy way, rather than telling her how you feel and getting knocked back
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    Just tell her. If you dont say it now, you will regret.
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    better to try & fail than regret never trying at all. go for it
    • #1
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    Thanks, any more thoughts from the evening crew?

    Ok so I figure that it's best to tell her rather than try to "pull" her given the situation, my total inexperience and the risk of freaking her out.

    For the birthday suggestion I think that would be too much and might frighten her, also if she says yes thinking I'm just being friendly and then us going somewhere on a trip and me telling her and her saying she doesn't feel the same it would be mega awkward.

    I'll see her soon and will really try to tell her. I don't know what I can do to stop myself making excuses to myself but hopefully I won't.

    I guess it's best to leave out the bit about me being too shy to tell her for 3 years?

    Another thing I am worried about is she might try to avoid me either through not wanting me to tell her and then turning me down, or out of shyness if she feels the same and has heard that I like her.

    Also her friends might be a problem. They know me from school as a bit of a sad and unsocial guy but that was just because I was shy. I'm not the same now but that's how they know me and I guess they don't think I'm good enough for her.

    If I manage to do it and she says no, I guess I can just say well ok we can be friends etc. it's all fine, obviously I would be hurt but would hide it the best I can and then leave.

    If she says yes then wtf do I do? Try not to look too excited I guess. Do I just stay with her (I will probably see her on a night out), chat and have fun etc. or try to arrange to see her alone some other day?
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    tell her, give it a go.
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    if youve known/liked someone for 3 years and not done anything about it, then any declaration of fancyingness is going to come out of the blue, what your hoping is that if you say "oh ive been holding this back for so long i love you" that shes going to say "i feel the same ive just been playing really hard to get" this isnt going to happen, you dont see this girl that often,spare yourself the pain and indignity that such a declaration is going to lead to.

    If you feel you must tell her, then do it in private if possible and dont come straight out with it, small talk it up for a bit, and dont expect any reply straight up cos these things generally leave the other side confused. Dont keep making excuses not to tell her, youve left it 3 years which is 3 years to long, if any opportunity arises take it.

    It is important that you get your response, i know how awful it can be to feel strongly for someone and not know for sure (though deep down you do know) what they may think of you, for any amount of time that sucks,for 3 years must be terrible, but you should really jsut get your answer so you can move on

    wow that came out way more harsh than i meant it to

    good luck anyway
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    speak from the heart. Write down what you would ideally like to say to her in aletter format, then read it allowed a few times, get used to hearing those words of confession from your heart pouring out, try to formulate a type of order in which your going to speak. By that I DON'T mean memorise what your going to say as that will just come out wrong and what you say should come spontaneously and from you. Juts have a general idea of the points you want to make. And just tell her. And if words fail you, keep that letter at hand, fold it neatly into an envolope and give it to her and tell her to come speak to you about whats written in it once shes ready. good luck! you sound like a really sweet guy, I hope it works out!
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    i understand that you're really shy, but you're over-thinking about every which way she could react to anything! just go for it, a bit of dutch courage might be good!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Anon please, friends on here.

    I've liked this girl for about 3 years now and have decided that I need to tell her how I feel about her, even if it's only so I can have closure and move on if she doesn't feel the same.

    I'm reasonably confident that she feels the same but it's hard to tell as she's really nice with everyone anyway. Also I was slightly drunk a few weeks ago and admitted to a friend that I liked her so she might have heard by now - I feel something's changed between us and she's either trying to make me jealous or trying to show that she's interested in other people.

    I've had chances before but I always panic, make excuses to myself etc.
    I'm 21 and have never done anything like this before, not even kissed or anything at all, which doesn't help. Also I'm kinda shy about that and so is she but I guess not so much. She even asked me several times on the same night before to dance, but I was terrified (haven't ever danced before) so said no sorry I'd really like to but can't.

    I know her pretty well, but since we both went to different unis we only really speak online and I rarely see her.

    I will see her soon and don't know how to go about it. She's really friendly anyway so I don't want to shock her or make a fool of myself while she's thinking I'm just being a friend. Also I really think I need to tell her and get an answer, and not just take the hint from things, so if it's a no I need to know for sure so I can move on.

    Help please, I need to do this so I can carry on with my life either way.
    Thanks
    Keep it short and sweet and you'll be fine. Whatever you do, don't ******* go on and on because that's just lame.
 
 
 
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