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Not having a backwards attitude to sex is something to be proud of. watch

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    Whether you have had sex or not, making decisions for yourself about what is right for you, without conforming to outdated dogma or giving in to peer pressure, that is actually something to be proud of :yes:

    Bonus points for people who don't feel superior to others who have made different decisions.
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    That statement is awfully loaded. You're basically saying that making the decision for yourself is admirable, unless your own decision is to "conform to outdated dogma." Or in other words, the only admirable decision is the decision that lots of sex is what's right for you. Well, what if somebody decides that their personal conviction is to follow that "outdated dogma?"
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    (Original post by Delta Usafa)
    That statement is awfully loaded. You're basically saying that making the decision for yourself is admirable, unless your own decision is to "conform to outdated dogma." Well, what if somebody decides that their personal conviction is to do just that?
    Ok good point, I think it depends if you decide to conform to religion after consiously considering the issue. The second part about not judging others definitely still applies.

    I failed btw, the first time I had sex it was mainly because of feeling pressured. That was a long time ago though and it is different now.
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    I hate these statement threads, they're outdated and were never useful at all. Please, move on and create a thread about how you have no friends or something. They're far more entertaining.
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    (Original post by Abhead)
    I failed btw, the first time I had sex it was mainly because of feeling pressured. That was a long time ago though and it is different now.
    Now, wouldn't you agree that people feel pressured because of the idea that waiting is "an outdated and backwards" attitude about sex?
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    (Original post by Delta Usafa)
    Now, wouldn't you agree that people feel pressured because of the idea that waiting is "an outdated and backwards" attitude about sex?
    I felt pressured because it was with someone who thought "no" meant, "maybe, keep trying" and I gave in eventually.

    I see what you are saying, but I don't think that feeling pressured to have sex is any worse than feeling pressured to abstain. I think if there were no outside influences people would have sex young even more frequently because it is our biology. I also think the main reason I felt like it was "wrong" for me to have had sex was because of the messages we still recieve that having sex makes you a "****" and all that. It took me a few years to see those kind of judgements for the ******** they really are.
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    I agree with what the OP has posted, but I would definitely add that I think it's ALSO good to make sure you're not hurting anyone else in the process

    For instance, go ahead and wear whatever you want (my style is lady-like prude anyway heh so I generally don't get to enjoy this except on rare occasions), but make sure you're not annoying your bf or best friends in the first place.

    I have a friend that dresses up awesomely for clubbing, concerts etc and I admire her for it... except when she does it at another friend's birthday or at work or something. Then, well, not so good
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    This is in response to the being a virgin is something to be proud of thread i guess?

    Well you're ultimately right. If you have sex when you're not really sure, or don't have sex because you're afraid it'll make you not pure or something, both are silly.

    I hate the whole emphasis on virginity. There's a difference between shagging around and just enjoying sexual relationships. I thought I'd be with my ex forever, does that make me used goods now?

    Virginity is just a thing, if it holds personal value to you then that's your decision, but please don't go judging the rest of us. It's perfectly normal to have several relationships before finding 'the one' and you shouldn't feel that you have to withhold yourself, enjoy yourself for goodness sake!
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    What's the point of this thread?
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    I agree.
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    (Original post by Reaver)
    What's the point of this thread?
    To balance out the judgemental "being a virgin is something to be proud of" thread.
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    (Original post by Abhead)
    I felt pressured because it was with someone who thought "no" meant, "maybe, keep trying" and I gave in eventually.

    I see what you are saying, but I don't think that feeling pressured to have sex is any worse than feeling pressured to abstain. I think if there were no outside influences people would have sex young even more frequently because it is our biology. I also think the main reason I felt like it was "wrong" for me to have had sex was because of the messages we still recieve that having sex makes you a "****" and all that. It took me a few years to see those kind of judgements for the ******** they really are.
    I think it's because once you've had sex, you can't get your virginity back. But if someone tells you not to have sex, you can always still go ahead and do it if you change your mind after a period of abstinence.
    If that makes any sense!
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    (Original post by EskimoJo)
    I think it's because once you've had sex, you can't get your virginity back. But if someone tells you not to have sex, you can always still go ahead and do it if you change your mind after a period of abstinence.
    If that makes any sense!
    If you have sex once, you can go back to abstaining if you want to. Your virginity isn't an actual thing, it is just a concept and it is only as important as you make it.
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    (Original post by Abhead)
    I felt pressured because it was with someone who thought "no" meant, "maybe, keep trying" and I gave in eventually
    In which case he was right after all then.
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    (Original post by Abhead)
    If you have sex once, you can go back to abstaining if you want to. Your virginity isn't an actual thing, it is just a concept and it is only as important as you make it.

    This is the sticking point though! There are a significant number of people for whom their virginity IS important (and many reasons for it), yet they feel pressured by 'society' (i.e. peer pressure) to have sex. There seems to be an expectation that if you are over the age of consent, you have no reason to refuse to sleep with your partner...I acknowledge that this isn't the case for everyone, but enough to concern me.

    Freak, prude and frigid are bandied around far to often as descriptions of people who decide not to have sex at any given time - not to mention the emotional blackmail that happens.

    There should be respect for anyone's decision with respect to their virginity...but there isn't.
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    I agree Abi - shall we have sex now or later?
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    (Original post by Smack)
    In which case he was right after all then.
    Unfortunately true.
    I should have just got up and left, the fact I was drunk didn't help matters really.

    (Original post by Local_United_Fan)
    I agree Abi - shall we have sex now or later?
    Weird, nobody on here has addressed me using my real name on here before.
    Its made me like you more for some reason, despite the daft comment.
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    (Original post by Abhead)
    I felt pressured because it was with someone who thought "no" meant, "maybe, keep trying" and I gave in eventually.

    I see what you are saying, but I don't think that feeling pressured to have sex is any worse than feeling pressured to abstain. I think if there were no outside influences people would have sex young even more frequently because it is our biology. I also think the main reason I felt like it was "wrong" for me to have had sex was because of the messages we still recieve that having sex makes you a "****" and all that. It took me a few years to see those kind of judgements for the ******** they really are.
    The pressure to abstain is far outweighed by the pressure to have sex. TV and movies are saturated with sex. Teens talk endlessly about their sexual encounters. Virgins are mocked and ostracized. We have sayings like "so and so needs to get laid."

    Now, if we were to remove all social prejudices for and against having sex, I don't think we'd be having more sex. And the reason is because of our biology. Our line of primates have always thrived on monogamy. Often temporary monogamy, but monogamy nonetheless. You can see this in large part by the level of sexual dimorphism - in primate species where the animals have sex with lots of partners, like gorillas, males tend to be a lot larger than the females. But in species that have relative monogamy, like chimpanzees, males and females are roughly the same size.

    Humans are most closely related to chimpanzees, and we have only slight sexual dimorphism. This suggests that even before society was established, promiscuity has never been a large part of our biology.

    Keep in mind, society's attitudes towards sex had to have come from somewhere. There's no way that as soon as civilization began, humans all of the sudden decided to value sex.
 
 
 
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