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Going to uni single or in a relationship? watch

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    Right, I know there's a similar thread here as well, but this also came up in a conversation with my mate.

    I've just past the first year with my boyfriend, so the idea of going to uni is a bit daunting (he's supposed to be leaving this September but he's planning on taking a gap year so we'll leave the same year).

    I do know a couple who were in the same situation last year (the girl left for uni, the guy was in the year below) who lasted the year and now the guy is going to the same uni as her (he's even put her uni as his firm even though the grades are lower than his insurance).

    As my boyfriend has already got his options, he's almost certainly going to UCLAN unless he increases his sporting experience and reapplies. I'm planning on applying to UCLAN as well, but unless I change my mind or I get rejected by the other uni's it probably won't be one of my choices because it only does one of the subjects I want to do.

    But my point is, do you think it's better to go to university single? And if in a relationship, would trying to get into the same university just put more pressure on your relationship to survive?
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    If you're happy in a relationship, or happy single, I don't think it matters.
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    I don't think you should base your university choice soley on the fact that your partner is going there
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    It's a mistake to base your university choice entirely on your boyfriend/girlfriend.
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    Never go to the same uni as your partner .. jealousy is bound to set in
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    dont think it matters as long as your happy.... i also think going to uni because someone else is going there too is a dumb idea :/
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    if your in a relationship, you might as well try keeping it when you go off to uni. if you ended it you'd always be wondering 'what if?'

    but i wouldnt recomend choosing a university because your partner goes there etc. choose it for yourself, you may well end up breaking up a term into university, and then your stuck there for another 3/4 years, at a university that may not be your first choice etc.
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    (Original post by Karunesh)
    Never go to the same uni as your partner .. jealousy is bound to set in
    Go to a uni because you like it and it does the subject you want. If it's a choice between two you like equally, and your long term partner's going to one, then it can bias your decision, but unless your Unis are on opposite sides of the country and you are very serious about each other, don't let it affect your choice.

    And what exactly would the jealousy be about?
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    (Original post by didgeridoo12uk)
    if your in a relationship, you might as well try keeping it when you go off to uni. if you ended it you'd always be wondering 'what if?'

    but i wouldnt recomend choosing a university because your partner goes there etc. choose it for yourself, you may well end up breaking up a term into university, and then your stuck there for another 3/4 years, at a university that may not be your first choice etc.
    Yer, we've discussed the idea of going to university (back before he was planning to take a gap year) and he's very certain on the idea we can get through it.

    And I totally agree that I couldn't choose my university due to him being there, because I believe it would just be too much pressure to want to like it because he's there.

    Do you think it'll affect how I make friends etc though if I do go to the same uni as him?
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    (Original post by Karunesh)
    Never go to the same uni as your partner .. jealousy is bound to set in
    I think if I was the jealous type I'd probably end up more jealous if I wasn't at the same place as him because paranoia would set it.
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    Single!!
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    I'm going to university single, and hoping for it to stay that way. I just want to go there and enjoy it. Do well academically, make great friends and have a great experience. Unfortunately, with my fair share of relationships in the past, it's always been filled with drama/heartbreak, and I'd rather not risk having all that ruining my time at university. Easy said than done though, I hope a nice girl doesn't come and have me head over heels for her :laugh:
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    (Original post by PrincessAriadne)
    And what exactly would the jealousy be about?
    Simply that if there is a lack of trust in the relationship, the guy might start feeling insecure about the girl making friends, going clubbing etc and get angry about small things that he sees and vice versa for the girl.
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    (Original post by manx1991)
    Do you think it'll affect how I make friends etc though if I do go to the same uni as him?
    Absolutely not. Because of the stereotype of Uni being a place where young people go to have casual sex and go wild, people have the misconception that relationships at Uni are a no-no, and that somehow normal rules do not apply. They still do. Uni will be fun because you will mould it to fit you.
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    (Original post by Karunesh)
    Simply that if there is a lack of trust in the relationship, the guy might start feeling insecure about the girl making friends, going clubbing etc and get angry about small things that he sees and vice versa for the girl.
    Aah, Ok, so if your relationship is already pretty unstable then something as drastic as starting at uni would affect it, fair enough.
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    (Original post by manx1991)
    Yer, we've discussed the idea of going to university (back before he was planning to take a gap year) and he's very certain on the idea we can get through it.

    And I totally agree that I couldn't choose my university due to him being there, because I believe it would just be too much pressure to want to like it because he's there.

    Do you think it'll affect how I make friends etc though if I do go to the same uni as him?
    yeh i imagine it will. as you'll probably prefer seeing him etc, than going out and meeting new people. and i imagine with meeting soo many people at uni, you're each bound to find people that you connect with really well, and so jealousy could become a problem even more than usual if you're at the same uni.
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    (Original post by didgeridoo12uk)
    yeh i imagine it will. as you'll probably prefer seeing him etc, than going out and meeting new people. and i imagine with meeting soo many people at uni, you're each bound to find people that you connect with really well, and so jealousy could become a problem even more than usual if you're at the same uni.
    Everybody is different, but if your relationship can't withstand you meeting some new people, then it's definitely not ready for the adult world.
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    Don't make a special effort to go to the same university as your partner. Statistically speaking, most relationships don't work out. You don't want to have that regret hanging over you. Also, it'll give you both an opportunity to make friends with new people. You don't want to break up with your partner most of the way through uni and then realise you don't know anyone else there.
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    i think single people have more of a social interaction with people as people in a relationship especially a close one tend to stay close to each other and not with a group leaving them left out from a lot of things, though even couples who aren't particularly close groups of friends may want to go to places the other partner may not be particularly happy about so a few feelings could settle in making the relationship i tiny bit more difficult though there are quite a lot of advantages like having your own privacy, splitting the bill and a few more that a i don't think the readers of tsr should read lol
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    Single. Then I'm sure not to cheat. Haha.
 
 
 
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