So I broke up with my girlfriend (now ex) a month ago and I think I'm over the inital period of being very depressed about it yet it's like I'm still not over her. I mean I think I still have some feelings for her even though she did hurt me and I think I still would get back together with her if that was possible.
It's very confusing because she wants us to remain friends (because we were before getting together) but it's hard when I see her and things as all the thoughts about good/bad times we passed come rushing back. I don't want to regret losing a friend but how do I know when I'm completely over her and can start being friendly with her? A few friends told me that if I wasn't over her and kept in touch a lot it would take a much longer time to get over her and I think they're definitely right but it's like I feel like I am over her as I don't really think a lot about her or anything but then again I feel like I still have some feelings for her.
Getting over ex Watch
- Thread Starter
- 31-07-2009 21:08
- 31-07-2009 21:14
you're feelings just dont die out for someone. It takes quite a while to get over someone. It took me like 4 months to get over mine. Best way do something to keep your mind occupied, go out with friends or do watch movies, if you dont remember her then you'll get over her pretty quickly.
- 31-07-2009 21:14
I think it would be best to leave seeing her for a little longer, you say you are over her, but then you say you would go back out with her if you could, i dont think that really says you are over her.
Just take some time away from her live your life and have a good time doing some stuff with mates etc. Take your mind off of her. It is never easy to be friends with an ex, but it can happen and does work. Just make sure you are totally over her before you try and be friends as it is so easily to blur and confuse things about your relationship in your head.
- 31-07-2009 21:17
In my experience it takes a long time to fully get over someone, it isnt going to be a month and you dont feel anything for her, it will just get slightly easier as time goes on.
Whether you choose to stay friends is up to you. You need to be realistic and ask yourself whether in another situation/life you would be friends with her, knowing what sort of person she is (in the sense of hurting you). Also think about how you will feel if she meets someone new, could you handle that?
I have found that the only way to really get over someone is to find someone else who means more to you then the previous person. That way the break up becomes a positive thing instead of just heartache.
- 31-07-2009 21:18
I loved my first boyfriend for a long time- before during and after we broke up. Obv I went through the initial bit of crying loads etc etc. We were best friends before.
He decided he didn't want to be around me any more a little while after we broke up (initially we were friends) because basically he was a bit fed up with me.
The time apart was hard but I think it probably helped a bit to be away from him. We didn't have to see each other and think about it all the time.
After a while though, he missed me as a friend and we staretd to talk and meet up again. We ended up being really good friends again. I still wasn't completely over him and it took a long time to get over him, but it happened eventually. There were times when I literally felt it would NEVER happen... but trust me it does. It may take a long long long time (year??) but it will happen.
My advice would be, don't worry too much about TRYING to get over her, at the end of the day it's something that just happens when it happens. Maybe ask her to spend a little while without her- a month maybe? And then go with being friends from there? She should be understanding of your feelings and that you might not want to be reminded of your relationship all the time. If it doesn't work, maybe it's best you don't see each other any more. But I know from experience that, at least eventually, you CAN be friends with someone you used to go out with.