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"I love him, but he barely knows who I am!" Discuss. watch


    I don't know if I believe that people in their late teens are really capable of genuine romantic love; my personal opinion is that most relationships at this age are based on infatuation or just friendship, but obviously these are just my thoughts.

    I think we 'fall in love' with people who don't know us because it gives us room to fantasize and fabricate how our interactions with these people might go, which is usually infinitely more fun than reality.

    It's ******** that attraction is simply dependent on one's perception of another's 'looks' and 'personality', with the latter including such traits as 'sense of humour', 'kindness', blah, blah, blah. If you're insistent on dichotomising attraction, then group the above together as one, and realise interaction becomes the other factor.

    I find that the people mentioned in the OP can usually be placed into two categories:

    There are those who think that because they find him physically attractive and because they just adore his taste in music and the way he treats his dog, they love him. They ignore the crucial requirement of mutual happiness-inducing interaction in a (potential) loving relationship, and so set themselves up for a shock when they discover that they don't actually get on that well (maybe in part because she has not given a thought to interpersonals).

    There are others who like his look and his personal qualities, but also acknowledge that there needs to be the interaction element too. However, instead of seeking this out they resort to using their imagination to form a vision of a beautiful chemistry between the two of them without any real evidence that this would be the case. It often happens that their delusions distract them from making much of an effort to form a bond with their desired, as they believe such a bond already exists. Alas, disappointment almost inevitably ensues.

    Of course, the same applies to boy/girl as to girl/boy.

    And I think most of us will have gone through such infatuations, despite our better judgment
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