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    (Original post by stellatommo20)
    ahh the feminist type - the sort of woman who feels its their 'right' to be able to talk freely and openy about penises all day, without any uproar. But mention the word c u n t to them, and all hell breaks loose.
    The sort of women who believe in sexual equality and freedom for women from the cruel men who have enslaved them in the kitchen, and pushing out child after child, but then somehow manage to miss their own point.
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    (Original post by Mts786)
    I have a friend and shes been with her BF for a few months now and well they both want to get married but there not sure ...

    I told them that if they think there ready to get married then to go for it but they have to think financially and about settling down ...

    my question is Is there anything wrong with getting married at a young age ??

    ( both of them are around 17-18 years old )
    My cousin got married when she was 19 and had her child when she was 20... frankly i can see that she wishes she had taken it slower.... I don't think she is madly in love with her husband.... and I know she regrets marrying him.... especially because she hasn't enjoyed her life to the fullest.... and now her husband won't let her go out and won't take her out and she has had to compromise practically everything for him.... whilst he can be out for ages and no one can ask him why....
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    (Original post by riotgirl)
    My cousin got married when she was 19 and had her child when she was 20... frankly i can see that she wishes she had taken it slower.... I don't think she is madly in love with her husband.... and I know she regrets marrying him.... especially because she hasn't enjoyed her life to the fullest.... and now her husband won't let her go out and won't take her out and she has had to compromise practically everything for him.... whilst he can be out for ages and no one can ask him why....
    yh but tbh i know its not my place to say but
    i dont think thats the right thing not to take her out .
    while he goes out all the time..
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    (Original post by Arturo Bandini)
    There's definitely a "too young" and 18 is definitely it. If they're sure they're going to be together forever, then what's the harm in waiting a few years before getting married? Afterall, by their own admittance they've got their whole lives together ahead.

    They're also deluded. It's highly likely they will not last forever.
    i'm dittoing all of this.
    I've never understood the rush to get married when you've already decided you'll be together forever, it's not like you're pushed for time or that it will make some huge change.

    I wish that someone could actually explain the benefits of marriage to me.
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    Personally, I don't see what the rush is... I've been with my bf for a long time and I'm not planning on getting married anytime soon, not because I can't see myself with him but because I can't see any point! We're happy as we are and I can't see what difference a piece of paper will make! First, I want to get through uni, get myself a career and then I'll think about it. Really, unless you're wanting a family, there's no need... What can you do together married that you can't do anyway? (Unless you're religious, then maybe there are considerations, I suppose) We're not in the 16th century anymore! It's OK to live with someone and get to know them properly before you jump heels first into something. Buy a house, or a flat together, or rent, whatever floats your boat... I think the problem is people jump into marriage too quickly these days, because it's so easy to get a divorce if things go wrong!
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    (Original post by death.drop)
    i'm dittoing all of this.
    I've never understood the rush to get married when you've already decided you'll be together forever, it's not like you're pushed for time or that it will make some huge change.

    I wish that someone could actually explain the benefits of marriage to me.
    ditto, the only reason i'll choose to get married, is when i want to start a family with the person i'm with, i'm a christian and i'd want to make that decision after much counselling, and to make the commitment in the eyes of my lord and have that spiritual bond made, thats the only difference, I'd just want my children to grow up in a spiritual and traditional family
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    only a few months? might be rushing it
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    (Original post by Subcutaneous)
    ditto, the only reason i'll choose to get married, is when i want to start a family with the person i'm with, i'm a christian and i'd want to make that decision after much counselling, and to make the commitment in the eyes of my lord and have that spiritual bond made, thats the only difference, I'd just want my children to grow up in a spiritual and traditional family
    Counselling?
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    (Original post by PrincessAriadne)
    Counselling?
    yes many churches do pre-marital counselling, very benefical and prepare the couple for a christian marriage, as a couple and husband and wife
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    (Original post by Subcutaneous)
    yes many churches do pre-marital counselling, very benefical and prepare the couple for a christian marriage, as a couple and husband and wife
    Ooh, what does it entail? And is it usually done, or just if a particular couple wishes?
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    (Original post by PrincessAriadne)
    Ooh, what does it entail? And is it usually done, or just if a particular couple wishes?

    usually part of a requirement of a cofe marriage if the church offers it, and they want to get married in that parish, things like dealing with the concept of a christian marriage, how this affects their relationship with god as a couple, building a strong family
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    (Original post by PrincessAriadne)
    Ooh, what does it entail? And is it usually done, or just if a particular couple wishes?
    exactly how much research into marriage did you do before decided to jump in? and how long had you been with your partner? I'm honestly not making this a personal attack, I realise it could come across like that, I'm just quite surprised you're only 18, married and hadn't even heard of pre-marital counselling. I find it quite interesting why people chose to get married, especially at such a young age, when it's so different to my own attitude.
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    (Original post by Subcutaneous)
    usually part of a requirement of a cofe marriage if the church offers it, and they want to get married in that parish
    Do you have to discuss how you feel, like to make sure you're ready, or is it more just preperation?
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    I dont think its so much the young age, but rather the length of the relationship.

    For example, In the paper recently I saw a couple (both aged 18) who had just married: but they had been childhood friends since they were 9, and going out since they were something like 14, so I find that pretty acceptable because they must know each other very well,

    On the other hand, I've seen many people in their late twenties/thirties marry after a few months, and it always falls apart; you can't know each other after a few months.

    My parents married at 20 and they're still together now, but they had been dating since they were 15, so its not so much the young age, but how long you've been together, I think.
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    (Original post by PrincessAriadne)
    Do you have to discuss how you feel, like to make sure you're ready, or is it more just preperation?

    a lot of it is discussing how you feel, preparing for the role of a husband and wife, transition, do you think you're ready for a christian marriage..
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    I feel I would like to add my two pence worth to this debate. I got married at 23, which may be somewhat young to some, but it was what we wanted to do. We had been together for 2 years before our wedding and it wasnt something we had rushed in to. Personally I think its up to the couple involved as to when they decide to marry, no one else. Age is irrelevant to me, only the 2 people getting married know how they feel about each other. We have just celebrated our 13th wedding anniversary and are still mad about each other.

    BTW, whats this about pre marital counselling??. Cant say I have ever heard about it, but then again we didnt get married in a church, so thats probably why.

    Good Luck to Princess Ariadne and her husband
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    (Original post by death.drop)
    exactly how much research into marriage did you do before decided to jump in? and how long had you been with your partner? I'm honestly not making this a personal attack, I realise it could come across like that, I'm just quite surprised you're only 18, married and hadn't even heard of pre-marital counselling. I find it quite interesting why people chose to get married, especially at such a young age, when it's so different to my own attitude.

    im surprised too, my friends who're older and have got married have had it, regardless of where they got married
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    (Original post by Mts786)
    yh but tbh i know its not my place to say but
    i dont think thats the right thing not to take her out .
    while he goes out all the time..
    Yeah I know .... its really sad


    we are south indian (indian tamil) and usually people have arranged marriages but she fell in love with this guy so she can't even moan about him because she has no one to blame but herself.... sadly.... if I were her I would have kicked him out the minute he turned into a control freak
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    (Original post by death.drop)
    exactly how much research into marriage did you do before decided to jump in? and how long had you been with your partner? I'm honestly not making this a personal attack, I realise it could come across like that, I'm just quite surprised you're only 18, married and hadn't even heard of pre-marital counselling. I find it quite interesting why people chose to get married, especially at such a young age, when it's so different to my own attitude.
    Hi I've heard of pre-marital counselling, just didn't know that Churches provided their own (I'm not religious). I think, though, that counselling is an option, it is nothing to do with being married, or the choice that you're ready to get married. Also I don't get what 'research' you would do? I found out about how to, the cost, but surely before you decide to 'jump in' you need to 'research' your own and your partners feelings, not what services people provide surrounding it?

    And, please, don't worry, I don't think it sounds like an attack
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    (Original post by Annie72)
    I feel I would like to add my two pence worth to this debate. I got married at 23, which may be somewhat young to some, but it was what we wanted to do. We had been together for 2 years before our wedding and it wasnt something we had rushed in to. Personally I think its up to the couple involved as to when they decide to marry, no one else. Age is irrelevant to me, only the 2 people getting married know how they feel about each other. We have just celebrated our 13th wedding anniversary and are still mad about each other.

    BTW, whats this about pre marital counselling??. Cant say I have ever heard about it, but then again we didnt get married in a church, so thats probably why.

    Good Luck to Princess Ariadne and her husband
    Thanks so much, and congratulations to you. You sound very happy
 
 
 
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