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    (Original post by death.drop)
    but it's a contract you can go back on, so it's no more meaningful than words!

    i'll leave it now as it's probably really annoying, just not very often you get someone willing to talk about it. thanks for sharing
    That's fine, and really scratch that (about the contract). Just the bit in bold is how i feel about it.
    (Original post by PrincessAriadne)
    It's a legal contract, so a couple is then bound by more than just words.

    This is getting insane! I love him, he loves me, we wanted to marry because it is 'special' to us. there's noe solid reason for marriage, and I see totally why loads of people don't bother/see the point, but in the end a relationship is to make your life better/happier/more fulfilled, and if signing a piece of paper, and having your special 5 minutes committing to each other is something which makes the couple happy, it's really not an issue.
    Whatever anyone wants to do is fine by me, as everyone is different, so no-one has the right to judge another person's life.
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    (Original post by 4_sophia)
    I really need to learn how to use this properly...
    Just click the 'quote' button
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    (Original post by PrincessAriadne)
    Just click the 'quote' button
    Oh yeah, lol, oops... Thanks!
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    (Original post by Chrrye)
    Christ. I was expecting at least some "we've been together 5 years" "he's the only guy I've ever been with, but I know he's the one" type blah.
    Did I disappoint or surprise?
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    It's not the age that concerns me but the fact they've only been together 'a few months'. A few months is too short to be making that sort of commitment... Marriage is supposed to be a life-long thing :tongue: I've been with my boyfriend nearly 3 years and wouldn't consider marrying him yet - we're not ready! Iit needs to be a definite decision. No 'I'm not sure' because that spells trouble :dontknow:
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    (Original post by inksplodge)
    It's not the age that concerns me but the fact they've only been together 'a few months'. A few months is too short to be making that sort of commitment... Marriage is supposed to be a life-long thing :tongue:
    I echo this, and the fact that they're not sure, and that she hasn't even told her family she's seeing this lad.
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    (Original post by PrincessAriadne)
    I echo this, and the fact that they're not sure, and that she hasn't even told her family she's seeing this lad.
    :yep:

    I actually know a couple who have just got engaged and plan to be married next year. (They've set the date already). They've been together 10 months... and their parents don't know they're engaged yet. If it starts in secrecy it is doomed to failure IMO. Marriage is a huge step!
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    (Original post by PrincessAriadne)
    I echo this, and the fact that they're not sure, and that she hasn't even told her family she's seeing this lad.
    yh she should tell her parents atleast then maybe it will all be a bit easier
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    Idiocy.
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    I know a couple that are planning to get married soon at the age of 16 and 18. She did just have his baby though, so I guess it's a different kind of situation.
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    (Original post by 4_sophia)
    Are you joking??? My mum and dad would go mental if I told them I was marrying someone I'd only known for 10 months!!! I definitely wouldn't say that'd make it easier for them...
    no i mean tell them that shes seeing someone
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    my dad and step-mum only knew each other a couple of months before they got engaged, so I think if you know that that person is the right one, then the length of time you've known them for isn't really an issue

    having said that, I think the issue becomes a lot different when talking about younger people as we're so much more prone to change than people in their 30s/40s
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    (Original post by SOPHistication)
    my dad and step-mum only knew each other a couple of months before they got engaged, so I think if you know that that person is the right one, then the length of time you've known them for isn't really an issue

    having said that, I think the issue becomes a lot different when talking about younger people as we're so much more prone to change than people in their 30s/40s
    thats true
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    (Original post by Subcutaneous)
    im surprised too, my friends who're older and have got married have had it, regardless of where they got married
    I've never heard of it either and I had a Christian upbringing and have been to about 30 weddings. :dontknow:
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    (Original post by EskimoJo)
    I've never heard of it either and I had a Christian upbringing and have been to about 30 weddings. :dontknow:
    :yes:

    saying 'Oh my:eek: .. you don't know about pre-marital counselling:eek3: ' and then using that as an argument against marriage ... lunacy.
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    The idea that 18 is too young for marriage seems strange to me, considering that many people married at that age in previous generations and are still together today. Sure, you'll miss out on years of dating, but is that really such a shame when you've found somebody to be with? You'll change a lot over the next few years, but is there ever a point in your life when you stop changing? Of course, being 18 doesn't mean you're necessarily mature - but at what age does maturity suddenly develop? At what age is it suddenly okay to commit to someone? I know some 15 year olds who are more mature than people twice their age. It is an individual matter.

    That said, being mature enough to get married doesn't mean you ought to. If you've only known each other for a matter of months, that's definitely not enough time to know for sure that you want to be together (and thinking otherwise is probably a mark of immaturity). And if you're unable to fulfil some of the traditional expectations that come with marriage - living together, being financially and emotionally independent from your families - then that's another good reason to wait. But if you have been together for a while, and are able to live independently together, I don't think it matters whether you're 18 or 58 - either way it will sometimes be a challenging commitment to uphold, and either way it has the potential to be permanent and "right" for those involved.
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    (Original post by StandingOnAir)
    The idea that 18 is too young for marriage seems strange to me, considering that many people married at that age in previous generations and are still together today. Sure, you'll miss out on years of dating, but is that really such a shame when you've found somebody to be with? You'll change a lot over the next few years, but is there ever a point in your life when you stop changing? Of course, being 18 doesn't mean you're necessarily mature - but at what age does maturity suddenly develop? At what age is it suddenly okay to commit to someone? I know some 15 year olds who are more mature than people twice their age. It is an individual matter.

    That said, being mature enough to get married doesn't mean you ought to. If you've only known each other for a matter of months, that's definitely not enough time to know for sure that you want to be together (and thinking otherwise is probably a mark of immaturity). And if you're unable to fulfil some of the traditional expectations that come with marriage - living together, being financially and emotionally independent from your families - then that's another good reason to wait. But if you have been together for a while, and are able to live independently together, I don't think it matters whether you're 18 or 58 - either way it will sometimes be a challenging commitment to uphold, and either way it has the potential to be permanent and "right" for those involved.
    Remind me to rep you, you wise old owl you :p:
 
 
 
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