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    (Original post by Lizia)
    I would disagree about society pressures making people put off having children. If anything, the benefits system these days means that it's more profitable than ever to have children young. And I don't certainly don't think society these days is anywhere near as anti-young mothers as it has been in the past. Fair enough, your mother changed radically. But it is not common for adults to change their entire lives so dramatically, as it is for younger people.
    .....
    I don't know a single person who is the same as they were three years ago. And sometimes the changes that ruin a relationship aren't a negative thing in a single person. I guess we'll have to agree to disagree, but I have yet to see a couple who married young prove my theories wrong. Good luck to Princess Ariadne, I hope she does prove me wrong. There are some things that it isn't that satisfactory to be right about. I'm just not convinced she will be any different to the twenty or so other couples who married young and split up http://static.thestudentroom.co.uk/i...s/dontknow.gif
    Lol! The benefits system! And look at the assumptions that people make about young mothers on the benefit system - they're positive, right? Even the ones that aren't on benefits, everyone assumes they are and looks down on them. People don't want to look like 'chavs'.

    I didn't say it was common, but I still maintain enough adults change to make your arguments about 'you haven't stopped changing so shouldn't get married yet' invalid.

    I didn't say I was the same as I was 3 years ago or whatever, I'm saying I haven't changed in any way that would have had detrimental effects on a relationship if I had had one since 18.
    The only real important changes that would affect relationships that I think young people go through is changing from wanting to 'have fun' to wanting to settle down and the type of guy/girl they want. I personally have never wanted to have the type of fun young people seem to be interested in (I've wanted to settle down since 13 and being a mother is the only thing I've ever been sure about wanting) and I've always been open-minded about what type of guys I like.

    I'm not saying every young person should settle down and I'm not saying you aren't mostly right that young marriages break down, but what I'm saying is look at each case on its own, and don't make blanket assumptions. People are different.
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    (Original post by shorty.loves.angels)
    In fairness, although you're young, it sounds like you completely went the right way about doing it imo. Living together can reveal a lot about each that you may not have noticed previously so I think it's important to take this step before getting married. I know I would

    Did you feel like you could have married him before you lived with him? Or did you want to live with him first to be sure you both still felt strongly about it? Just out of interest :bigsmile:
    Thanks Er, well it was sorta a weird year after we met, and he found himself without a home, so my mum and I offered him a room, and because of these circumstances we became closer a lot quicker, and obviously, as you say, got to know each other very well. We both knew it was special as soon as we met, but I don't think we'd really jumped the gun to talking about marriage. We'd done romantic discussing about what we'd name our children and silly things like that, but before we moved in together, we hadn't considered marriage. I think it was because we came to know each other so well, and just continued falling more and more in love, and even when times were very very trying, and we could easily and understandably have chosen to just be friends, we both knew we wanted to stick at it and be together through any problems life threw at us.
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    (Original post by EskimoJo)
    The only real important changes that would affect relationships that I think young people go through is changing from wanting to 'have fun' to wanting to settle down and the type of guy/girl they want. I personally have never wanted to have the type of fun young people seem to be interested in (I've wanted to settle down since 13 and being a mother is the only thing I've ever been sure about wanting) and I've always been open-minded about what type of guys I like.

    I'm not saying every young person should settle down and I'm not saying you aren't mostly right that young marriages break down, but what I'm saying is look at each case on its own, and don't make blanket assumptions. People are different.
    That sounds so like me it makes me smile :yes:
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    (Original post by Dodo XD)
    Yeah, but did they know for sure they wanted to get married? and besides 27 years ago things were different...
    At the time my dad was completely unsure he had just joined the RAF, completed his training and was being sent to Germany for goodness knows how long :p:

    They weren't that different, and my mums brother didn't even get married until he was 29 despite being with his partner since the age of 14.
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    (Original post by fire2burn)
    At the time my dad was completely unsure he had just joined the RAF, completed his training and was being sent to Germany for goodness knows how long http://static.thestudentroom.co.uk/images/smilies/p.gif

    They weren't that different, and my mums brother didn't even get married until he was 29 despite being with his partner since the age of 14.
    This is something I was going to say earlier and forgot actually - people can go join the forces and go to war at 18, but aren't 'old enough' to get married?
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    (Original post by PrincessAriadne)
    I think maybe a problem might be that people arguing blankly against anyone under 25 getting married, are tarring everyone with the same brush as themselves.
    I don't understand why people assume that a failed marriage is age related :dontknow: Yes it could be, but it could also be due to the fact that they didn't know each other long/well enough before getting married. Perhaps financial strain put pressure on the relationship? - It's not always easy to support yourself at such a young age and these difficulties can affect relationships.

    What I'm trying to say, is, people are quick to assume that a young couples marriage which has failed, was due to them being too young when in reality it could be one (or more) of many factors, related or unrelated to age.

    I am another who has wanted to settle down since I was about 14. But that doesn't mean I wanted to marry the first person I met! I've always wanted to find the right person and I'll never rush into something I'm not sure about.

    Sorry about rambling :bigsmile: just completely agree that people presume young marriages = fail.
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    Personally, I'm against people getting married at a young age. In general, the relationships people have at a young age by and large do not last. Getting married doesn't suddenly mean that they will!

    But just because I don't agree with it doesn't mean I'm going to get in the way of anyone who chooses to go that way. Some people are more mature than others. I would feel trapped in a marriage (I have in fact had a few nightmares going that way over the years) but Ariadne here seems to have her head fairly screwed on right.

    Besides, anyone who decides they're going to get married isn't going to not get married cause I don't approve. Why not let people make mistakes on their own?
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    (Original post by EskimoJo)
    This is something I was going to say earlier and forgot actually - people can go join the forces and go to war at 18, but aren't 'old enough' to get married?
    A little thing people tend to over look :yes:
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    alot of my female friends are engaged ( around the age of 18 ) annnd i guess as long as you feel stable in the relationship and are ready for that kind of commitment, then sureee... no problem with it
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    (Original post by Aldebaran)
    Personally, I'm against people getting married at a young age. In general, the relationships people have at a young age by and large do not last. Getting married doesn't suddenly mean that they will!

    But just because I don't agree with it doesn't mean I'm going to get in the way of anyone who chooses to go that way. Some people are more mature than others. I would feel trapped in a marriage (I have in fact had a few nightmares going that way over the years) but Ariadne here seems to have her head fairly screwed on right.

    Besides, anyone who decides they're going to get married isn't going to not get married cause I don't approve. Why not let people make mistakes on their own?
    Thanks, rep coming your way as soon as I've dealt with the backlog of other people! :p:
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    (Original post by EskimoJo)
    a) marriage does not have to be expensive at all

    b) most people don't get married at 18 and many of those that do get married aren't religious - why do they get married? If it's for the same reasons as PrincessAriande, how can you say it seems like a very 18 year old type thing to do?
    as i've said in this thread, I don't understand why anyone who isn't religious gets married, not just 18 year olds.
    The thing I said seemed very 18-year-old was getting married to prove you're serious about each other, whether you actually are 18 or whether you're 75 I think that marrying to prove to everyone else that you're serious is the kind of attitude I would expect from a teenager. She did say later that that's not what she really meant though so i take back the comment as far as her marriage goes.

    As much as I think that if princessariande's marriage lasts she will be in a very lucky minority (here's hoping), I'm not trying to judge or tell anyone they've done the wrong thing, I really was just trying to understand and have a conversation with someone of a different viewpoint.

    regarding the cost, I think nearly £100 just for the license plus any money you spend on clothes/flowers/cake/venue etc is quite a lot; and divorce, should it happen, is extremely costly and distressing.
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    (Original post by death.drop)
    as i've said in this thread, I don't understand why anyone who isn't religious gets married, not just 18 year olds.
    The thing I said seemed very 18-year-old was getting married to prove you're serious about each other, whether you actually are 18 or whether you're 75 I think that marrying to prove to everyone else that you're serious is the kind of attitude I would expect from a teenager. She did say later that that's not what she really meant though so i take back the comment as far as her marriage goes.

    As much as I think that if princessariande's marriage lasts she will be in a very lucky minority (here's hoping), I'm not trying to judge or tell anyone they've done the wrong thing, I really was just trying to understand and have a conversation with someone of a different viewpoint.

    regarding the cost, I think nearly £100 just for the license plus any money you spend on clothes/flowers/cake/venue etc is quite a lot; and divorce, should it happen, is extremely costly and distressing.
    I wouldn't call that expensive, but never mind. We'll agree to disagree.
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    I wish I got married at a young age

    Oh well, this was my destiny.

    </3
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    (Original post by *~skipper~*)
    I wish I got married at a young age

    Oh well, this was my destiny.

    </3
    Hey How old are you now? x
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    (Original post by .X.alysha.X.)
    its not so much the age that would concern me, but for the fact that they have only been together for "a few months" and for the fact that you said they're not actually sure.

    In this case they definiatly should not get married! People take marriage too lightly nowadays.
    This.
    A few months is not eneough to decide to be together forever especially at their age.
    Personally I think 17/18 is too young even if they'd been together years.
    They need to have been together for much longer and have experienced the real world together for a decent amount of time before even thinking of getting married.
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    (Original post by PrincessAriadne)
    Hey How old are you now? x
    Her profile says she's 21. In my mind she stil is "at a young age" in general and for mariage
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    (Original post by gm15)
    This.
    A few months is not eneough to decide to be together forever especially at their age.
    Personally I think 17/18 is too young even if they'd been together years.
    They need to have been together for much longer and have experienced the real world together for a decent amount of time before even thinking of getting married.
    This thread's from a year ago!
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    (Original post by gm15)
    Her profile says she's 21. In my mind she stil is "at a young age" in general and for mariage
    Interesting
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    (Original post by PrincessAriadne)
    This thread's from a year ago!
    Woops...didn't look...assuemd it was new
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    (Original post by gm15)
    Woops...didn't look...assuemd it was new
    I'm not sure why she resurrected it now, random!
 
 
 
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