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    Basically I've been with my boyfriend for 6 months now, we lived together in uni halls last year and we're living together again in september. I'm pretty much used to spending most of my time with him, apart from during holidays, when I'm living at home in North Wales, and he's in Bristol.
    I'm already used to the long distance thing because we speak to each other all the time and I trust him completely. However, his course at uni have offered him the chance to go to China for a few months to do an exchange programme in September. Now bearing in mind, he 'forgot' to mention this trip and I was only made aware when he was showing me an email and clicked on the wrong one which went on forever about living arrangements, costs etc etc.
    I know he probably didnt tell me because he knew I'd be upset but I'm a bit miffed that im only told now, one month before he goes. Now it isnt DEFINATE, theres a whole selection process and he's trying to assure me that he wont get picked, but I'm a bit curious as to if this is actually the case. Its such an amazing opportunity for him and I wouldnt want to hold him back at all, I just feel that spending a whole term apart from each other with minimal contact is going to wreck our relationship.
    Is it stupid of me to consider breaking up with him before he goes, to save us both the heartbreak of missing each other so much? The thought makes me feel sick but I just dont see how it could work!
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    Yeah you are .
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    Give it a try. Either way you both end up coming out better off - if he goes, and you both manage it, you'll know you have a decent relationship. If he goes, and you do drift apart, then you'll know it wasn't really going to work out long term.

    However, if you break it off with him before he goes, you'll never know.
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    Dont be silly and break up with him before he goes. Thats stupid.
    If you can survive being long distance through holidays you cant do it again.
    This a good oppertunity for him.
    I can understand why you are annoyed he hadn't said anything.
    If you break up you wont be together when he comes back. At least he'd be coming back to you and you can get to spend time together again.
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    if u are already used to the lond distance thing then why the need to break up..
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    You have to do what you feel is right but if you really cant control where he goes. You should just chill and see how things go. You dont want to put pressure on your situation. He wil be back by christmas right ? So maybe you should give it a try, if isnt working then talk to him about it.
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    (Original post by candyfloss.)
    Basically I've been with my boyfriend for 6 months now, we lived together in uni halls last year and we're living together again in september. I'm pretty much used to spending most of my time with him, apart from during holidays, when I'm living at home in North Wales, and he's in Bristol.
    I'm already used to the long distance thing because we speak to each other all the time and I trust him completely. However, his course at uni have offered him the chance to go to China for a few months to do an exchange programme in September. Now bearing in mind, he 'forgot' to mention this trip and I was only made aware when he was showing me an email and clicked on the wrong one which went on forever about living arrangements, costs etc etc.
    I know he probably didnt tell me because he knew I'd be upset but I'm a bit miffed that im only told now, one month before he goes. Now it isnt DEFINATE, theres a whole selection process and he's trying to assure me that he wont get picked, but I'm a bit curious as to if this is actually the case. Its such an amazing opportunity for him and I wouldnt want to hold him back at all, I just feel that spending a whole term apart from each other with minimal contact is going to wreck our relationship.
    Is it stupid of me to consider breaking up with him before he goes, to save us both the heartbreak of missing each other so much? The thought makes me feel sick but I just dont see how it could work!
    Depends on what you and he feels.
    I am going out witt my boyfriend for 4 months and in two weeks I will be going away for 9 months... he said he'd love for us two to stay together because we made for each other
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    I just feel like a fool though because I don't want to speak to him about it because he might think im being unreasonable in not wanting him to go. I guess its a normal reaction in not wanting your bf to go to the other side of the world... Its so hard to explain, its not that i dont want him to go, because I do, and I realise that he probably wont get the opportunity to do it again, and if it was me, yeah, Id go. But im sad that it might make us drift apart, and the fact that he hid it from me for a few months bad times
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    No it isn't. TBH, you're young and obviously the type you needs to be able to constantly talk to your bf. I broke up with my ex during exam time because we couldn't met for a month and a half because we were been revising (which is fair enough), but he only phoned every two days for 5 minutes...and I hated it! So ended it because he cba. So yeah, staying in contact matters, but I'll wait till he def gets the China trip.
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    It's only a few months, if you feel this will wreck your relationship then you didn't really have much of a strong bond to begin with.
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    i was with my ex for two years, and while he was away at uni, i was at home doing my A Levels. We spent months apart and eventually I broke up with him. I guess I was fed up of feeling forgotten and so far away from him. I just thought that I wouldnt have to do it again, but I guess ive managed it before.
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    A) Yes, you're being selfish
    B) You're not wrong to be annoyed that he kept it from you
    C) Why did you capitalise your spelling mistake? It's DEFINITE!
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    haha im such a retard :/
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    If it isn't 100% confirmed, there was no reason for him to tell you and cause a farce when there's a possibility he won't be going.
    If you say you are used to the whole long distance relationship thing, it's only a term! Although it may seem long to you, it really isn't. Relationships carry on even when couples are away from eachother for a year! It should not wreck the relationship, it's a good opportunity, if he does go you should be supportive and hope that he as a good time.

    If you're considering breaking up with him just because you're going to be away for a few months, then the relationship musn't mean much. If it did, you'd want to carry on no matter how long he was away. Although I understand your position, missing him all that time etc. if the relationship is strong it should be worth it having to go through the lonely term. I'm just quite surprised that it's only a few months, it isn't really a big deal. Maybe it's because you've lived together for so long, a term seems like a very long time. I guess that's why they say couples should spend time together in moderation, sometimes space is good.
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    Agreed.
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    (Original post by Arturo Bandini)
    A) Yes, you're being selfish
    B) You're not wrong to be annoyed that he kept it from you
    C) Why did you capitalise your spelling mistake? It's DEFINITE!

    all of the above :yes:
 
 
 
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