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I think its pretty funny when insecure people get 'engaged' swiftly Watch

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    I think to get 'engaged', you really should have a plan to get married soon (ie. next 1-2 years), and not to let the relationship drift on until you are both ready (emotionally/financially/etc) because then what's the difference between an engagement and a serious relationship?

    I must say, I'm lucky enough that none of my friends have been foolish enough to do this (unless they're religious).
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    Most people I know that are engaged have been going out for a few months and don't actually plan to get married! And the point of that is..?!
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    (Original post by Chrrye)
    Might be more dignified but its probably not more accurate.
    I'm not demonising them I'm feeling sorry for them and occasionally laughing (yeah, i guess that makes me evil :devil:) :cool:
    Yea, I weren't writing that in a moany way. Just saying a lot of the time its more immaturity than insecurity i would guess.
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    I've never heard of people getting engaged 2 months into a relationship, that's madness! It's such a big step.. But, I know a couple who got engaged a few months back.

    The girl is absolutely lovely, madly in love with the guy- they'd been together a quite a few years before uni, pretty much childhood sweethearts. But the guy had cheated on her with loads of different girls since we'd started Uni... then took her to Paris and proposed to her.

    What I don't get, is why you'd get engaged to make everything seem alright in your relationship- surely it'd make everyone else acknowledge there must be something strange behind it?
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    is it just me but white ppl tend to be hornier and more desperate???
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    getting engaged is nothing, its a ring on a finger and a fancy way of saying we're in a relationship look at us.

    Its as easily to end an engagement as it is to end a non marrying relationship
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    (Original post by Chrrye)
    There is a certain type, and tbh, it is usually the girl driving it, but there are some people who have been going out for maybe 2-3 months, even 6 months and then feel the need to get engaged as a matter of course. This doesn't even have to involve a ring, just the boasting to anyone who will listen and the appropriate facebook relationship status...

    They seem to need it merely to show the world that they are serious rather than any particular plan to get married in the forseeable future.

    A girl I knew was engaged to some boy she had met at uni for the first half of the first year and then they broke up, she slept around a bit, started going steady with another guy and within a few months they were engaged as well

    Do these people not realise it looks a bit needy and tragic and that if you enter such an agreement so easily and quickly it somewhat devalues the whole thing? it seems like they are somewhat insecure with their relationship if they quickly look to 'cement' it with an 'engagement' apparently flippantly :woo:

    What do people think? Maybe these people are just 'passionate'? :rolleyes:

    An ex finished with me because she wanted to get engaged after three or four months of being together. I had absolutely none of that. I believe it was an extension of her obsessive, possessive, jealous, controlling nature.

    After our relationship ended, she was with another guy in three weeks, and they were 'engaged' within five. Retrospectively, its completely laughable and the luckiest escape I've ever had.
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    I got engaged at a fairly young age. However, we'd been together for a year, are now living together and had planned to marry within two years (although this may be put off now for financial reasons). I fully intend on staying with him and it wasn't a decision I made lightly- also I don't go round advertising it. Yes my facebook profile says it and I have an engagement ring but I don't make a point of saying 'my FIANCE.'

    I suppose I'm saying not all people who get engaged are doing it because they're insecure! He's not cheating on me, I'm not cheating on him, we have all the trust and love needed to make our lives together work. (I'm not just looking through rose tinted glasses, I can see his faults believe me!)
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    My husband proposed to me after we'd been going out for 2 weeks. (And no, we didn't know each other very well before we started seeing each other - we'd maybe chatted in a hallway a few times before). At the time, almost everyone who found out was shocked - several of my close friends even told me outright I was nuts.

    Now it's almost 4 years on and we are happily married To be honest, if anyone had told me I'd meet my husband and get engaged in this way I would have said they're crazy (actually, both he and I are normally quite conservative so it wasn't typical behaviour for either of us!) All I know is that it's worked out well for us so far
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    I know one girl who over the last couple of ayears has been engaged at least 3 times. I don't understand why as she accepted even after the first kept hitting and abusing her, the second and third cheated on her.

    Sad to see it happen to her really
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    people have real weird ideas about engagement within days/weeks/couple months of dating
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    (Original post by star_violet)
    My husband proposed to me after we'd been going out for 2 weeks. (And no, we didn't know each other very well before we started seeing each other - we'd maybe chatted in a hallway a few times before). At the time, almost everyone who found out was shocked - several of my close friends even told me outright I was nuts.

    Now it's almost 4 years on and we are happily married To be honest, if anyone had told me I'd meet my husband and get engaged in this way I would have said they're crazy (actually, both he and I are normally quite conservative so it wasn't typical behaviour for either of us!) All I know is that it's worked out well for us so far
    I'm not trying to be nosey (honest!) but what made you say yes?
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    (Original post by 99 Red Balloons)
    I'm not trying to be nosey (honest!) but what made you say yes?
    Looking back, I think it just felt right - everything felt completely different than it had for any other relationship I'd been in. We moved in together a couple of weeks later and, I won't lie, it took some settling in as we had to get used to one another (not to mention, I had never lived with anyone before, so it was all totally new for me). We didn't actually get married until 2 years later. I think many people are surprised it lasted this long, they all thought it was just madness. I like proving them wrong
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    When I asked my mum if I could see her engagement ring she said she didn't have one because she thinks they're just a way of saying "Look, I caught a man!" I'm not saying this is always true, but I think there might be an element of this in the kind of engagements you're talking about. As in, these are the kind of people that hate to be seen to be single and want to show off their girlfriend or boyfriend. Maybe when having convinced someone to go out with them is no longer impressive, they want to be able to shout out to the world: "Look, I'm so fantastic that someone agreed to get married to me!"

    I realise this is a big generalisation, but I think it might be an explanation for some of the superficial relationships that have been described on this thread.
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    i know someone who proposed after 3days....and now they have been together for 25 years!!

    im 20 and recently got engaged..however i have been with my boyfriend for 5 years!! :-)
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    Each to their own I suppose but the only man I will ever get engaged to is the one I intend to marry.
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    (Original post by Wanderlust)
    An ex finished with me because she wanted to get engaged after three or four months of being together. I had absolutely none of that. I believe it was an extension of her obsessive, possessive, jealous, controlling nature.

    After our relationship ended, she was with another guy in three weeks, and they were 'engaged' within five. Retrospectively, its completely laughable and the luckiest escape I've ever had.
    Good for you!

    Do these people not realise that if they coerce the guy into it however gently or subtly it means nothing and he may resent it?
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    (Original post by Chrrye)
    There is a certain type, and tbh, it is usually the girl driving it, but there are some people who have been going out for maybe 2-3 months, even 6 months and then feel the need to get engaged as a matter of course. This doesn't even have to involve a ring, just the boasting to anyone who will listen and the appropriate facebook relationship status...

    They seem to need it merely to show the world that they are serious rather than any particular plan to get married in the forseeable future.

    A girl I knew was engaged to some boy she had met at uni for the first half of the first year and then they broke up, she slept around a bit, started going steady with another guy and within a few months they were engaged as well

    Do these people not realise it looks a bit needy and tragic and that if you enter such an agreement so easily and quickly it somewhat devalues the whole thing? it seems like they are somewhat insecure with their relationship if they quickly look to 'cement' it with an 'engagement' apparently flippantly :woo:

    What do people think? Maybe these people are just 'passionate'? :rolleyes:
    Hush up woman. :plz2:


    Not everyone who gets engaged swiftly are insecure. Of course, I can imagine the sort of people you are on about (i've seen some myself and i'm only 17 - a 15 year old boy who was "engaged" to a 13 year old = yeah strange stuff..) but you can't tarnish everyone with the same brush.

    My parents were engaged after 3-5 months and they just recently celebrated their 23 wedding anniversary and are very happy. So there you go, sometimes it can work.


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    However, personally I don't think i'd be able to rush into something like that!
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    maybe it makes her feel secure
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    (Original post by Melting Sugar.)
    Hush up woman. :plz2:


    Not everyone who gets engaged swiftly are insecure. Of course, I can imagine the sort of people you are on about (i've seen some myself and i'm only 17 - a 15 year old boy who was "engaged" to a 13 year old = yeah strange stuff..) but you can't tarnish everyone with the same brush.

    My parents were engaged after 3-5 months and they just recently celebrated their 23 wedding anniversary and are very happy. So there you go, sometimes it can work.


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    However, personally I don't think i'd be able to rush into something like that!
    I never said I was 'tarnishing' every swift engager and we've had plenty of
    "Well I did and Iv been married happily for a 100 years now" stories on this thread, thank you for sharing.


    I am not talking about the girls who find 'the one' and swiftly marry them.

    I'm talking about the ones who will habitually 'engage' anyone the are going out with after a few months or sooner, not due to any particular likelihood of long term marriage plans just for some need to validate and 'concrete' their relationship.
 
 
 
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