Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    When did you first realise your sexuality? And how did you deal with it? I tried denying it for a while but in the end accepted it. How was your experience? And how did you find telling family/parents?
    • PS Helper
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    PS Helper
    I didn't ever go through the "I think I'm straight" phase. As soon as I was old enough to start to be "attracted" to other people it was always the same sex - I was about 8 and no it wasn't sexual at first, not at that age. I was lucky in that I never really had to "deal" with it; whilst I knew that it wasn't normal I had never known any differently. I did worry that I might be the only person in the world who was actually gay and I kind of knew that I shouldn't tell anybody about my feelings but otherwise it was just who I was and fortunately I didn't really have to go through the whole accepting myself stage. I told my parents only eight months ago, after having finished my first term at uni; it was about 5am on the morning of New Years day and I was pretty sloshed, my mum didn't really care but my dad cried. I think they were more shocked at the fact I'd been seeing somebody for over a year. You can PM me if you need to talk or whatever.
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by Mr_Deeds)
    I didn't ever go through the "I think I'm straight" phase. As soon as I was old enough to start to be "attracted" to other people it was always the same sex - I was about 8 and no it wasn't sexual at first, not at that age. I was lucky in that I never really had to "deal" with it; whilst I knew that it wasn't normal I had never known any differently. I did worry that I might be the only person in the world who was actually gay and I kind of knew that I shouldn't tell anybody about my feelings but otherwise it was just who I was and fortunately I didn't really have to go through the whole accepting myself stage. I told my parents only eight months ago, after having finished my first term at uni; it was about 5am on the morning of New Years day and I was pretty sloshed, my mum didn't really care but my dad cried. I think they were more shocked at the fact I'd been seeing somebody for over a year. You can PM me if you need to talk or whatever.
    :O

    It just gradually dawned on me I guess. When I first started watching normal porn at a young age, I realised I was more interested in the guys. I kept denying it to myself but I slowly realised when I realised these feelings weren't going away.

    I guess I still deny it to myself now, hence why I haven't told anyone yet and I'm posting as anon. Sometimes I hate myself for it. I don't know when I'm going to come out, there is never a right time, all of my family and most of my friends are homophobic
    Offline

    17
    ReputationRep:
    i have no idea, but just over time slowly i realized i was more attracted to guys (i still want to believe im bi :P)

    I haven't told anyone yet :P
    My family want me to have kids (and a little part of me wants to too) and my friends are amazing but one of them is slightly homophobic
    But i feel as if i tell no one im going to combust inside! Its only a matter of time :P
    • PS Helper
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    PS Helper
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    :O

    It just gradually dawned on me I guess. When I first started watching normal porn at a young age, I realised I was more interested in the guys. I kept denying it to myself but I slowly realised when I realised these feelings weren't going away.

    I guess I still deny it to myself now, hence why I haven't told anyone yet and I'm posting as anon. Sometimes I hate myself for it. I don't know when I'm going to come out, there is never a right time, all of my family and most of my friends are homophobic
    He was an officer in the Army - he's pretty homophobic as well but he seems to have accepted it. It's easy for a straight person to take an instant dislike to gay people but I think a lot of the time it's because they haven't had much exposure to it. When I came out to the people I thought would take it badly they were actually really understanding. I guess you're probably doing what I and most other people do; you're building yourself up to expect the worst so that you won't be hurt or disappointed. If anything, I think people actually respect me more now, I'm a lot happier and I certainly haven't lost any friends or family because of it - and my family are very "military." If you keep looking for the "right time" to tell anybody the chances are you probably never will. I'd suggest that when you're ready, you tell your best female friend first and as soon as you've come out to one person it usually sets the ball rolling.
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    Always knew, for as long as I can remember.

    I never felt the need to come out - after all, you don't ever go "Mum, Dad, I'm straight" so why should it be any different for me? They found out eventually...in a rather unique way...

    But yeah, I maintain for newbies that it's more a case of acceptance rather than discovery.
    Offline

    17
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Spacecam)
    I never felt the need to come out - after all, you don't ever go "Mum, Dad, I'm straight" so why should it be any different for me? They found out eventually...in a rather unique way...
    :confused: Im curious, what unique way? :cool:
    • PS Helper
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    PS Helper
    (Original post by Spacecam)
    They found out eventually...in a rather unique way...
    Please spill? :p:
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Mr_Deeds)
    Please spill? http://static.thestudentroom.co.uk/images/smilies/p.gif
    I've already gone into it on TSR many times but in a nutshell, they walked in on me whilst myself and my "friend" were otherwise occupied.

    No I didn't stop - just looked and said "Hi - close the door, there's a draught"

    That saved alot of embarrassment and difficulty on my part. They knew it was set in stone then :eek:
    • PS Helper
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    PS Helper
    (Original post by Spacecam)
    I've already gone into it on TSR many times but in a nutshell, they walked in on me whilst myself and my "friend" were otherwise occupied.

    No I didn't stop - just looked and said "Hi - close the door, there's a draught"

    That saved alot of embarrassment and difficulty on my part. They knew it was set in stone then :eek:
    Really? Lol, that's pure hilarious :p:!
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Mr_Deeds)
    Really? Lol, that's pure hilarious http://static.thestudentroom.co.uk/images/smilies/p.gif!
    Well why stop when they'd obviously seen everything and I was having a good time?!
    Offline

    15
    I realised when I found out about porn so about 11 maybe, before that I fancied guys but told myself not to and made myself try to like women, didn't really work. Between 11 and 13 I used to use the internet to find famous people to pretend to like infront of my friends then I came out when I was 13.

    My earliest memories are of two things. Firstly writing I Love Tony on a wall in my bedroom because I fancied a guy in first school called Tony. Secondly masturbating over being a porn actor and telling my girlfriend how I did gay stuff. Weird I know but it kind of made me realise maybe I preferred gay stuff.
    • PS Helper
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    PS Helper
    (Original post by Spacecam)
    Well why stop when they'd obviously seen everything and I was having a good time?!
    It was the "close the door - there's a draught" that got me :p:
    Offline

    16
    I thought it was normal to fancy other guys ... and when I got older I realised that it wasn't the case. Apparently, straight guys don't masturbate over other guys . And then I thought I might 'grow out' of it or something like that. But in the end, I just accepted I was gay and told a good friend. She was a bit weird at first (because she'd never come across gay peeps) but then we grew closer. I never came out at school, per se, not officially ... people always asked and made jokes ... blah blah blah ...
    But then my mum caught saw me reading "Gay Times" (well, more like ogling over the hotties) and then she knew ~ but I came out to her around a year later.
    My friends are really cool with it and my work colleagues too. They make gay jokes all the time but in the nice way.
    Tbh, it hasn't been much of an issue for me. I don't see it as something major. Just a little part of me .
    • #3
    #3

    After having several female crushes throughout primary school, I first noticed I was into guys too after watching my first male/female porno aged 12. I'm 18 now and none of my friends know I'm bi, they all just assume I'm straight because I've only had relationships with females. Casual homophobic comments/lack of knowledge in the matter on their behalf is putting me off telling friends, although I realise it's probably best I do at some point because they'll never ask. I wouldn't have a problem with parents knowing as my uncle is gay but I can't tell one side and not the other...
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: August 1, 2009
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Would you like to hibernate through the winter months?
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.