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feel like i need to catch up with everyone watch

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    im 20 and everyone i know is either in serious relationships or has had serious relationships , whereas ive never had a bf or sex. ive kissed guys at clubs and had offers from them for sex but it doesnt make me feel 'cool' to get off with them, it makes me feel like a loser and desperate cuz i cant actually get a real bf rather a drunk guy who wants you just for a one night stand.
    everyone else seems so adult, i also havent learned to drive whereas everyone i know has cars.

    this makes me not want to try and become close friends with people cuz i think they dont wanna be friends with a loser even if im a good person to chat with. the thing is, im very unsure sexually, like think im asexual and find it hard to imagine being in a relationship.

    there is uni coming up, but even then i think people will think its abit strange ive never had a bf.

    shall i try and have a few driving lessons before uni and attempt to get a bf in uni just so i can feel like ive caught up with everyone abit. maybe if i meet up with a guy i meet from a club for a drink or something..but i dont wanna feel like a fraud
    i dont like conforming but i cannot help feeling low cuz everyone else has. even the losers at school have managed to get bfs by now.
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    No one judges you, everyone thinks for themselves. What u feel is that ur missing something and by getting it, u'll feel more happy, not true. That happiness of being able to drive, being in a relationship is transient. You need some self-confidence and be self-satisfied.
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    How come you haven't learned to drive? Just curious :P
    Btw, don't rush this stuff - get a relationship not to "catch up", but only if you want to for yourself. Also, focus on your good qualities and might want to establish if you're asexual
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    im not in my own country so i guess i have a gd reason! lol
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    Only do these things if you want to. There's no point comparing yourself to anyone else. Can't drive either so don't worry about that. Ignore the troll.
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    If you really want a boyfriend then you go for it. If you just want a boyfriend so you feel better about yourself or to fit in with your friends, then your really not liking him for the right reasons. You also have to think the other way, if he starts to really like you and you don't feel that way back, he's going to feel really hurt. It's important to not just think of yourself and think how others might feel. If your ready to try dating and want a guy for the right reasons, go for it and good luck.
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    don't do anything with guys from clubs/one night things, you'll only regret it
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    You have absolutely no need to catch up, I am in a similar position to yourself and I feel like this occasionally, but there are more important things in life. One day something will happen and it will feel all the more special because you waited.
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    dont worry about driving at all. most of my friends at uni dont know how to drive and dont care either.

    and my cousin only learnt to drive at 25 and didnt feel like she needed to catch up.

    and your not a loser for not being with someone. it will it make it that much more special when you meet the right person.
    • #2
    #2

    The foolish are always in a rush to grow up. I'm in the same position, but I don't let it trouble me. As far as I'm concerned, I'm a hell of a lot more mature than these children running around having "serious" relationships, thinking they're "in love". It's ridiculous. Also, learning to drive isn't really a necessity unless you need a car. I really doubt that most car owners this young actually need one. Public transport is just fine, and car ownership is a massive financial burden anyway.

    Don't be pressured into copycat behaviour. Everyone's different, and as said earlier, these kids don't even know what they're doing most of the time. Acting "adult" this young is a massive pretence, and a big waste of time, money, and effort. Enjoy being a kid while it lasts. I'm attending university, and living at home with my parents. I don't feel the need to be employed, and I won't have any debts to pay anyway, so I live a stress-free life. I'm not scared of the real world either. When it's time to become independent in a few years, I'll be ready, because I spend my time learning important life skills instead of having lots of sex and wasting my money on stupid things like partying and owning a car. Don't follow the herd.

    Anon or delete, please.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    im 20 and everyone i know is either in serious relationships or has had serious relationships , whereas ive never had a bf or sex. ive kissed guys at clubs and had offers from them for sex but it doesnt make me feel 'cool' to get off with them, it makes me feel like a loser and desperate cuz i cant actually get a real bf rather a drunk guy who wants you just for a one night stand.
    everyone else seems so adult, i also havent learned to drive whereas everyone i know has cars.

    this makes me not want to try and become close friends with people cuz i think they dont wanna be friends with a loser even if im a good person to chat with. the thing is, im very unsure sexually, like think im asexual and find it hard to imagine being in a relationship.

    there is uni coming up, but even then i think people will think its abit strange ive never had a bf.

    shall i try and have a few driving lessons before uni and attempt to get a bf in uni just so i can feel like ive caught up with everyone abit. maybe if i meet up with a guy i meet from a club for a drink or something..but i dont wanna feel like a fraud
    i dont like conforming but i cannot help feeling low cuz everyone else has. even the losers at school have managed to get bfs by now.
    Social pressure always makes rash decision seem more tempting. If people are going to judge you based on your relationship history then they can seriously GTFO. It doesn't matter and doing stuff because everybody else has done it really is a bad reason.

    As my mum used to say when I was little and wanted new fad toys, "If everybody else jumped off a cliff, would you do it too?"
 
 
 
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