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My Parents' love is suppressing my social life. Watch

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    I'm a guy, aged 18, and have just finished Sixth Form. Like most others on TSR I am waiting to go to University come October. I plan to read Law at Warwick and I think I've done enough to achieve the AAA required for entry. I am currently on an internship at law Firm Allen & Overy for the entire summer up until Uni.

    My parents are extremely protective however, and its so frustrating. I know they don't mean to be that way in a bad way, its all out of love at the end of the day, but I just feel they're being a tad unfair.

    Although I live in quite a rough area, they tend to raise eyebrows when I get home late, 11-12 at night etc. Its not what they say also, its their reaction afterwards which makes me feel like ****. As a result, I dont have much of a social life. Im not a social retard, I would consider myself to be extremely outgoing, I can talk to anyone and am very approachable. I've no problem talking or flirting with girls either, but my lack of socialising has meant that that part of my social life is virtually non-existent. I feel so restrained, especially when I see friends going to parties and having a laugh. I really also wanted to make the most of the summer before I leave for university as well, but my parents' attitude is so confining.

    Its another Saturday night indoors online as you may have already guessed. The only thing keeping me going is the thought of university in October, where I can move the f*** away. Im beginning to lose a lot of friends as im not out Saturday nights etc, and they rarely ever call nowadays. I feel this is a large chunk of my life which I am missing out on.

    Any thoughts? Am I being unfair, or should I just grit my teeth till university when I can live out on my own? Much appreciated.
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    Two threads?
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    (Original post by sil3nt_cha0s)
    Two threads?
    Yeah, I clicked on the anonymous button by accident first time round.
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    If its just their reaction annoying you, you need to get over it and go out anyway. If they aren't actually stopping you from going out, then if you go out more, they will react less each time.

    Doing things despite negative reactions from others is an essential life skill. Its not always easy, but you won't get very far if you don't do something because it causes some people to act negatively. Everyone has to learn to do this.
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    they turn their eye brows up when you come home?
    But they don't actually stop you?
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    I m in the sme boat, same **** everyday don't come late, don't do this so yh jst waiting for uni so that i can get away and do wat i want.

    I knw they don't mean to do wat they doin:confused: , jst being too too too overprotective lol

    anywayz gud luk 4 ur results hpe they turn out gud
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    (Original post by AshleyT)
    they turn their eye brows up when you come home?
    But they don't actually stop you?
    The other nite, I told my mum id be back in an hour at around 8 o'clock and dint take my phone. Came home 11pm and got it in the ear......stuff like that. They dont say no you cant, but their reactions are a killer. I dont like upsetting them either cos they hold me in high regard as well...
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    (Original post by kashkng)
    I m in the sme boat, same **** everyday don't come late, don't do this so yh jst waiting for uni so that i can get away and do wat i want.

    I knw they don't mean to do wat they doin:confused: , jst being too too too overprotective lol

    anywayz gud luk 4 ur results hpe they turn out gud
    You're from London as well which is where im from too lol
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    (Original post by kashkng)
    I m in the sme boat, same **** everyday don't come late, don't do this so yh jst waiting for uni so that i can get away and do wat i want.

    I knw they don't mean to do wat they doin:confused: , jst being too too too overprotective lol

    anywayz gud luk 4 ur results hpe they turn out gud
    words
    use them
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    (Original post by sil3nt_cha0s)
    Two threads?
    12 warning points? :zomg:
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    (Original post by Cultivated)
    12 warning points? :zomg:
    yes :sadnod:
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    Have you tried talking to them? Trust me, just explain it from your point of view, tell them you're an adult now, and can make your own decisions, and tell them how what they say/do is restricting your social life etc. If you have a proper conversation with them I'm sure they'll probably understand, meaning your relationship won't get damaged with them, and you can go out too. I'm not guaranteeing this; though it works more than most people think - and I don't mean standing up arguing about it, I mean sitting down at a table and talking about it.
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    (Original post by Ben F)
    Have you tried talking to them? Trust me, just explain it from your point of view, tell them you're an adult now, and can make your own decisions, and tell them how what they say/do is restricting your social life etc. If you have a proper conversation with them I'm sure they'll probably understand, meaning your relationship won't get damaged with them, and you can go out too. I'm not guaranteeing this; though it works more than most people think - and I don't mean standing up arguing about it, I mean sitting down at a table and talking about it.
    Thanks for the advice.
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    Try talk to them and explain that when you go to uni, you'll have complete freedom to do what you want, where you want, when you want and with whoever you want. Tell them that if you have a bit more freedom now to stay out late and go to parties, whilst you still have the safety of home, it'll prepare you better for uni and mean you won't just be 'thrown in at the deep end'...as well then they might see that you can be safe and act responsibly and worry about you less when you go to uni? Just a thought...
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    Those must be some eyebrows to stop you having a social life...
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    (Original post by Moghul)
    The other nite, I told my mum id be back in an hour at around 8 o'clock and dint take my phone. Came home 11pm and got it in the ear......stuff like that. They dont say no you cant, but their reactions are a killer. I dont like upsetting them either cos they hold me in high regard as well...
    well tbh you should always take your phone...
    I used to have ti where if i was 1 SECOND LATE.
    I was ****** lol.
    Tbh though yes what they do is annoying but its nice they still dont stop you. If they worry then just put their mind at rest by chatting to em...and taking your phone...all about compromising .
    Also if they are less worried they may be less in ure ear.
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    Home late 11-12
    wtf?
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    bit off topic but thow did you get that summer internship with Allen & Overy
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    I don't know what you're expecting to get out this thread. Try talking to them about it.
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    OP, you're 18, you're legally an adult. Who cares if they raise their eyebrows. Just go out and let them.

    I have a very loving but over protective mother and the minute I turned 18 I did things, like staying out late, that I know she didn't like. But I had to do this to take my place as an adult in the household and it worked. You're going to annoy your parents at some point in your life, the earlier you do it, the easier it is all round.
 
 
 
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