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obvious overreaction, but what should i do? watch

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    me and my bf (2 years) are having a semi long distance relationship atm cos we're so busy this year. i've just started a placement far away from my uni home and the rest of my friends. i'm staying with a couple who takes in students, so all day and night i'm making conversation, making me feel really lonely. i try to call my friends as often, but obviously they're not available all the time... and my family are on holiday atm so i can't call them either.

    so i do call my bf at least everyday, or sometimes twice a day, if there is something especially juicy i want to tell him. he doesn't seem to appreciate my phone calls, and says i'm taking up his time. he knows what the situation is and knows how i feel. throughout the phone call it's ok, but i guess i'm always thinking that he doesn't want to talk to me...phone calls at most last 30 minutes, and it's always him making the excuse to leave.

    today was the last straw, and i told him that i couldn't take his rudeness anymore, and it was over. it sounds stupid, but he was so apathetic by the situation and whiny that i couldn't take it anymore. i just didn't know what to do anymore. why should i be with someone who doesn't even want to talk to me? i think i'm so upset by him that i can't think how better to handle the situation....advice?

    thanks
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    anyone??
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    I'd find 30 mins a day, sometimes twice a day on the phone a bit much, to be honest...
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    Sorry to say it but this is exactly why long distance relationships don't work.

    Problem is you're in an uneasy state and I'm assuming he's at home with all his mates etc so maybe can't see you point of view ...

    Is there no people there you can hang out with to keep yourself busy?
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    I'd get pissed off if someone called me everyday for like 30 minutes. If you want him back just tell him why you got upset and say that maybe you overreacted.
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    That is a bit harsh on his behalf.

    It does seem your overeacting a litle bit, but I can understand where you are coming from.
    Maybe you need to talk to him and sort this situation out and tell him how you feel and how he made you felt. Especially feeling lonely when you are so far away from home.
    Maybe via email or something?
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    It might just be the typical male inability to talk about emotions, I was in a long distance relationship last year (we're back in the same city now) and it seemed like he didn't want to make the effort and I got very upset, but its just simply some guys (girls can do it too!!) just arent the type to be overly romantic and sentimental: the feelings are still there though!

    Firstly, write a list of the reasons you love him, listen to songs that remind you of him, look at old photos. When you are in a positive mindset, write him a letter or an email. Talk about normal stuff and also the problems. (dont make it a problem email!)
    Writing an email takes time, so he will have to sit down and spend a few minutes working on a good reply to you. This way might mean you get a bit of effective communication maybe?
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    So, ultimately, you broke up with him because he can't talk to you everyday?

    :no:

    That's a really shi**y excuse to break up with someone.
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    I'm in a LDR and two phone calls a day would be a bit much. Even one every single day would be a bit much for me.

    But just explain to him how you're feeling.
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    To be honest, I would get a bit miffed with 30 minute calls everyday.
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    i don't understand why daily 30 min phone calls are too much! it's not like we're on holiday with nothing to do all day. i reckon there is plenty to talk about...he just doesn't want to talk to me...

    it's annoying cos i felt that saying 'it's over' was the only leverage i have. it's stupid and it's crying wolf, but he didn't take me seriously anyway. but i am serious about the lack of effort on his part. is bf not supposed to support you a emotionally, a little bit at least?! if you can't rely on him, what's the point?
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    What's wrong with OP talking to her boyfriend on the phone everyday? They don't even see each other. Gosh. :indiff:
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    (Original post by elsa_89)
    What's wrong with OP talking to her boyfriend on the phone everyday? They don't even see each other. Gosh. :indiff:
    exactly...! this is the only contact i have with him, and i just want him to be nice, is that too much to ask?! arghhhhhh
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    Like it or not, they are too much. Daily phone calls are near too much themselves.

    Do you moan often on the phone? There's only so much he can do down the phone.
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    (Original post by CatexW)
    I'd find 30 mins a day, sometimes twice a day on the phone a bit much, to be honest...
    This.
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    (Original post by Iain 815)
    Like it or not, they are too much. Daily phone calls are near too much themselves.
    Do you moan often on the phone? There's only so much he can do down the phone.
    This. No one has anything constructive to say over the phone daily.
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    (Original post by Iain 815)
    Like it or not, they are too much. Daily phone calls are near too much themselves.

    Do you moan often on the phone? There's only so much he can do down the phone.
    no i don't moan. it's just weird, to go from seeing each other every day and actually seeing my friends really often, to feeling totally alone in a strange place, with no autonomy at all (i don't have a car, i can't do whatever i like in the evenings etc)!

    i really couldn't disagree more about the daily phone calls. however, i guess my bf would agree with you.
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    I must say I don't understand what's so wrong with wanting to talk to your boyfriend, especially in a LDR, for 30 minutes each day.

    I'm only away from my boyfriend in the holidays and we always call every night, if only to say goodnight; but generally conversations last about 30 minutes. I must admit I won't be able to stand doing this with anyone else, but he's my boyfriend and our relationship relies on communication and being part of each other's lives.

    OP, I think you did overreact a little but I can completely understand how you feel. If your boyfriend cares for you enough, he should either do more or make sure you become okay with lesser contact than brushing you off.
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    maybe I'm nuts, but, I talk to my EX boyfriend everyday for about an hour...I don't think it's even remotely weird to want to have a decent conversation with your boyfriend everyday, especially when you're long distance.

    if you're regretting what you've done, then call him (or could you even take a weekend to go down and see him), but maybe think about how healthy the relationship was anyway? I'm not sure it really was so much of an overreaction, if it was frustrating you so much.
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    I'm going to join the majority here and say I agree that 30 minute phone calls are far too much especially if they're every day let alone twice a day, that'd just get annoying and make you out to be clingy.

    Every other day would be sufficient, and maybe reduce the call time to 15 mins.
 
 
 
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