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obvious overreaction, but what should i do? watch


    Sorry but 30 minutes a day would do my nut in, very few guys would appreciate talking on the phone for that long EVERY day. It sounds like you are being a bit clingy to me.
    Long distance relationships just don't work for some couples and you throwing him this ultimatum also gives him an excuse to get out of it. You'll find out if this relationships got any more ground to run once he responds........i'm guessing no

    I totally understand where you are coming from, it sounds exactly like something I would do.
    Sometimes you just get so angry, you feel like your bf doesn't understand and doesn't care, and you do something rash. It is so rude when people make excuses to stop talking to you, especially your bf. And I get why you were so angry.
    Maybe you could arrange a time to call him everyday, that would be convenient for both of you. That way he would know you were ringing at that time, so can take a bit of time away from whatever he is doing to talk to you. It is important to talk, especially if you don't see each other every day.
    Also if you didn't phone every day maybe you could text some days. Texting is quick and easy and he wouldn't have to come away from his friends or whatever to reply.
    Maybe finishing it was a bit crazy, especially if you haven't talked about it upsetting you previously. But people do mad things when they are angry, and in the heat of the moment. If you talk to him I am sure you will understand.
    Hope that was useful
    • #1
    • Thread Starter

    well if anyone's interested in an update, just got off the phone from him from an hour phone call. he didn't accept we broke up anyway, and invited me on holiday with him. i'm not sure if this phone call business will still be a problem, but it's not a major shock, because he has always been a bit like this, but because we saw each other in person so often, it wasn't a big issue. i'll see him next weekend though, so hopefully will be ok.

    and my bf and i are on the same course, and there's lots of things to talk about and sort out (in terms of placements and gossip). i really don't understand how you could go out with someone and now have at least half an hours' worth of stuff to say to each other. i guess i'm going for long haul (which may seem strange after i tried to break up with him, but it was irrational), and if you can't even last that, how can you last years of being with someone?

    but thanks to everyone who replied, and it was interesting to see how many people thought a half an hour phone call a day was too much...

    I think I would be upset if I thought my boyfriend wasn't interested in what I had to say. Most of the girls in this thread think the OP is being reasonable, and most of the guys think she is being unreasonable. I think he needs to meet you halfway. Explain to him that you like to hear his voice and that telling him whatever you want to tell him means a lot to you. I wouldn't ring my boyfriend twice everyday, but that's because I don't always have something to say and, if I do, I prefer talking online or by text. Perhaps, like other people have suggested, refrain from ringing him everyday for a certain length of time, and contact him by other means. A phone call may catch him at a bad time, but he can take his time to reply to an email or a text.

    Some people really need their own space.

    (Original post by bikipip)
    Look at it from his point of view, you are the one making the phone calls all the time, so obviously you're calling when you are bored and up for a chat but he might be doing something else or might not feel like talking. How about you ask him to call you next time? Take it in turns calling each other?

    Your phone calls to each other should be a pleasure not a chore. If you want to keep having daily phone calls over a prolonged period then you need to make sure it's a pleasure for both of you, otherwise there's no way it can work.

    Some people just hate phone calls. Maybe he's one of them. Even if he isn't, 30 minutes a day is a lot, and if you can't understand that you should try. I can understand where you're coming from, but he's probably busy as well. Maybe next time just send him a text instead asking how he is, that way, if he's too busy to have a proper chat he won't feel pressurised into one.

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    i don't understand why daily 30 min phone calls are too much! it's not like we're on holiday with nothing to do all day. i reckon there is plenty to talk about...he just doesn't want to talk to me...
    seriously, its waaay too much
    u should try calling maybe thrice a week
    so it something to look forward to
    not something he endures every day
    not everyone is so talkative - i cant do 30 mins on the phone unless the other person is yacking all the way through
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