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I think my boyfriend is depressed...what can i do Watch

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    I live with my bf whilst at uni, and during breaks we are in a LDR. During uni he would always get into "funny" moods for no apparent reason, he would always say something just triggers it. He would be very moody and distant and not want to talk to anyone, he would just lie on his bed and sleep or do nothing. Eventually he would perk up and apologise as he is usually quite moody with me. This used to happen at least once a week, sometimes more. It upsets me as I ask whats wrong and he just replies "i dno" "everything is so rubbish, i have nothing to look forward to" etc etc and i don't like seeing him like this.

    Now we are in a ldr its even harder because he is just so weird with me during this time. It happened yesterday, he rang me in the morning perfectly fine and happy then when i rang in the eve he was in this state. I would receive 1 word answers and it was me making all the convo. Then he apologised this morn saying he was just in a strop, but i just spoke to him and again he is in this mood. Its beginning to really effect me, and in a way our relationship as I am getting unhappy from this (now obviously im not going to leave him for this as i love him to bits but its getting me down). I find it so hard to talk to him like this because it just upsets me and begins to make me feel down, i feel useless like i cant help him. He text me saying "things i enjoyed are now starting to make me feel worse. life feels so pointless at the moment".

    What can i do? Its getting to the point i think he needs help, ie a doctor or something, but how on earth do i bring that up? Is there anything else i can do or suggest? Has anyone else gone through this, what did you do? Please help!
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    I dont think there is anyway that you can bring it up without being direct else you may be at risk of being misunderstood just say it to him and be honest he sounds like he does need to see a doctor, but dont force him sugges to him as it is more likely he will pull further away if you try and force him. Tell him you are there to support him and try and maintain that. He needs the help and i think you are the person he is most likely to listen to really.
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    It's great to see that you love and support him so much, I think you caring about him is very comendable. I went through a hard time a few months ago, my ex girlfriend recognising I was this way and not feeling the same way I did about her (I thought the world of her) decided she would just spontaneously split up with me, thus making those few months even harder. So it's important you guys try to sort it out as you seem like his rock at the moment and you could have the best potential to make him happier because you are close to him. Maybe you two should spend a weekend somewhere nice just together and relax, maybe you can bring it up what's making him feel sad because it helps a lot to talk about problems with someone else. I'm not qualified to diagnose but maybe he could be bipolar, thus perhaps requiring some medical treatment. If he wants help then he should see what a GP has to say. Good luck
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    Hang up if he is terse with you. And tell him to go get help. Seems like you have been his vent for long enough.
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    Dump him
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    dress uop for him give him a blowjob?

    these would make me happy
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    (Original post by X7502)
    It's great to see that you love and support him so much, I think you caring about him is very comendable. I went through a hard time a few months ago, my ex girlfriend recognising I was this way and not feeling the same way I did about her (I thought the world of her) decided she would just spontaneously split up with me, thus making those few months even harder. So it's important you guys try to sort it out as you seem like his rock at the moment and you could have the best potential to make him happier because you are close to him. Maybe you two should spend a weekend somewhere nice just together and relax, maybe you can bring it up what's making him feel sad because it helps a lot to talk about problems with someone else. I'm not qualified to diagnose but maybe he could be bipolar, thus perhaps requiring some medical treatment. If he wants help then he should see what a GP has to say. Good luck
    thanks for that Its his birthday next week so i am going to visit him (and surprising him by coming a day early which i know he will be happy about) so will be able to spend some quality time with him. He says he is feeling depressed as he is always working and because im not with him however even when i am with him he gets like it!

    When I have mentioned before about he should try and do something about it, he said he doesn't know what to do so he obviously knows he should but im not quite sure if he thinks he should see a GP.

    and to tom_tom_tom i am scared about him pushing away, which is why i find it so hard to bring up he may need some help. Its not something I want to bring up over the phone and its hard to when I visit because I only get a few days with him and I dont want to ruin them as im scared it may cause an arguement, but i know i need to bring it up. He is the kind of person where tablets do not help anything, i mean he refuses to even take paracetamol if he has a headache or something!


    Thanks everyone..its helping me just being able to talk about it
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I live with my bf whilst at uni, and during breaks we are in a LDR. During uni he would always get into "funny" moods for no apparent reason, he would always say something just triggers it. He would be very moody and distant and not want to talk to anyone, he would just lie on his bed and sleep or do nothing. Eventually he would perk up and apologise as he is usually quite moody with me. This used to happen at least once a week, sometimes more. It upsets me as I ask whats wrong and he just replies "i dno" "everything is so rubbish, i have nothing to look forward to" etc etc and i don't like seeing him like this.

    Now we are in a ldr its even harder because he is just so weird with me during this time. It happened yesterday, he rang me in the morning perfectly fine and happy then when i rang in the eve he was in this state. I would receive 1 word answers and it was me making all the convo. Then he apologised this morn saying he was just in a strop, but i just spoke to him and again he is in this mood. Its beginning to really effect me, and in a way our relationship as I am getting unhappy from this (now obviously im not going to leave him for this as i love him to bits but its getting me down). I find it so hard to talk to him like this because it just upsets me and begins to make me feel down, i feel useless like i cant help him. He text me saying "things i enjoyed are now starting to make me feel worse. life feels so pointless at the moment".

    What can i do? Its getting to the point i think he needs help, ie a doctor or something, but how on earth do i bring that up? Is there anything else i can do or suggest? Has anyone else gone through this, what did you do? Please help!

    just to say, my bf used to have Bi-polar disorder, he was on medication for it etc etc.
    Even though this was before i met him and he is now off medication, he definitely still has Bi-polar tendencies.
    He will suddenly go into massive moods, wont want anything to do with me, just wants to be on his own, will question everything good in his life and all the rest.
    After some sleep he will be absolutely fine.
    These moods usually come on later in the day.
    Its a pain in the bum but just don't take it personally!
    It really is nothing you've done.
    Def not saying he actually has Bi-polar or anything, but i know how you feel!

    See if you can get him to go see someone because they might be able to help him understand his moods.
    and if you can talk to him when he is feeling good, just let him know that you're there and if there is anything he wants to talk about you will listen.

    Hope this is in someway helpful.
    PM me if you want to chat about it
    xxx
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    Pretend it's March 14th :awesome:
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    I am in a similar situation in LDR relationship. My boyfriend and i reached a crisis point in our relationship and when he admitted to me that he thinks he may be depressed it made me realise how much i loved him and wanted him to get better. He hasn't still seen a doctor but i know he is TRYING to fight his demons and eventhough i do get upset from time to time i know its not me he has issues with its himself. I am gently pushing him towards counselling right now. Hang in there because if hes worth it hes worth it
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    (Original post by Amlea)
    I am in a similar situation in LDR relationship. My boyfriend and i reached a crisis point in our relationship and when he admitted to me that he thinks he may be depressed it made me realise how much i loved him and wanted him to get better. He hasn't still seen a doctor but i know he is TRYING to fight his demons and eventhough i do get upset from time to time i know its not me he has issues with its himself. I am gently pushing him towards counselling right now. Hang in there because if hes worth it hes worth it
    Its hard isnt it...how did you bring up the idea of seeing a doctor/counselling? Or was it something he bought up?
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    I just asked him whether he had spoke to anyone proffesional about a family problem he had 5 years ago and it took him a few days but he called me and said, " I think i need help". Getting them there is another game but theres nothing wrong with encouragment. Its there choice at the end of the day
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    Wiki Support Team
    You need to bring it up with him and have a chat with him, ask him why he's acting like this. Try and encourage him to talk about how he's feeling and whats getting to him lately. Maybe it was the stress of uni?
 
 
 
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