Okay so, here's the deal.
I was lazy in my GCSE years, and spent all of my time socialising and/or messing around. Before any of you say it, yes I was incredibly, unthinkably stupid. I now have no friends, and no grades. Looking back, I was lucky to have achieved the below average grades that I did, and even luckier to have achieved a BC in English Lang and Lit, as my coursework was atrocious.
So because of that, I had to do an extra year to do some re-takes and BTECs, so that I could then progress to A Levels. I chose English, Environmental Science and Media. More laziness ensued, but by some strange irony, I achieved a B grade as AS in the English module that was on a book that I hadn't actually read, and got a U in the module for which I had studied my a** off. I was, however, politely told not to return to the Env Sci course, as my teacher thought I was wasting her time. Fair dues. I was a jerk.
Onto A2's. Retook the module I got a 'U' for, and I got an even worse U, even after going through past papers with my teacher. Retook it again, and I'll see how I did later this month. There's something about Carol Ann Duffy and Oscar Wilde that, apparently, stumps me.
I digress, and this is turning into a novella-like post isn't it. Heh heh.
When I get my results this summer, I will only have 2 A Levels of pending quality to my name. My Dad keeps making insults, poorly veiled as 'constructive comments because he cares', about the way I live/have lived my life thus far. I'm 18, 19 on the 9th of this month (happy birthday to me), and I'm being pushed in so many directions by both tangible and invisible pressures that I'm not sure what I think anymore.
I've always been very heavily reliant on escapism, you see, and after having to come out of 'my world', I've found that (obviously) the real world doesn't and can't match up. It's frustrating, and also very immature, but I don't feel ashamed, I'm just made to feel like I should.
I feel like I've painted myself into a corner by being lazy and short-sighted during my academic years, and that no options are left open to me. I'm also borderline socially retarded after cutting myself off when my old friends left because I was so sick and tired of all the inane drama.
Has anyone else here been through, or is going through, something similar? Obviously our cases won't be exactly the same, and I could have looked through other posts of a similar nature on here, but I wanted a personal response to my own personal case. I'm tired of living my life through other people.
What can I do to escape my situation, and myself?
Negative and positive comments are welcome. I need a harsh wake up call. (Oh and I'm sorry if this doesn't belong in this sub-forum.)
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To uni, or not to uni? watch
- Thread Starter
- 02-08-2009 00:05
- 02-08-2009 00:14
Attitude is probably the biggest thing. If you set a goal of why you want to get good grades! Then you will work hard to achieve. You are then more likely to do it!
If you want to relate this to me.
If i get straight A's then i could hopefully go to Oxford and then get a well paid job in Los Angeles where i ultimately want to live.
You cant change the past but you can change the future.
I know this is kinda harse to some people but i have friends but not too many, i do this because i dont want to get distracted from getting what i want. Friends will change over time, especially during school years!
You now have to find what you want from life, and spend this summer working through revision books to get the grades. Im not naturally talented no way, im lucky if i get a D, but when i try and see that finish line i work bloody hard!
Hope this kinda helps
- 02-08-2009 00:19
Have you thought about what you want to do ultimately, after education? if it's not something that requires a degree - then why go through more education when it clearly hasn't particularly suited you so far?
There are plenty of options left if you want to go university, there's no reason you shouldn't if it's what you want, but I think you should maybe think about whether having a further academic career really is what you want, or if it's the sort of environment where you'd thrive the best.
- 02-08-2009 00:21
Are you going to work hard?
It seems so far your attitude hasnt been good enough.
Are you academic? Do you get satisfaction from studying?
Can you sustain a high level of concentration and work for 3 years?
If the answer to any of these is no you need to see if you can adapt in the next year and then apply
Oh and also...
Do you think having independence will relieve hassle and so you will work better?
or will you fall into a pattern of too much fun and not enough work if you do not have enough guidance?
- 02-08-2009 20:36
... I'm quite surprised. I think I can really sympathize with a few of your problems, though in different ways.
You see, it was always beat into me since childhood that I really have to try hard at school, and make something of myself, or else live out a monotonous and repetitive life for the rest of my days. Something I have always been terrified of. I want to a Grammar school, one that was once top in the country. You know what I am now?
An art student! Haha!
I wasn't a terrible student in Grammar, admittedly there were more than a couple of subjects that I always saw as opportunities to just sit down and draw rather than listen to whatever it was the teacher was saying. That would probably explain my U in A Level Geography, haha.
But... I still made it into a Foundation art course with no problems, I passed with a Merit, and, despite my shortcomings in the maths test I was presented with in the interview, I still made it into the Computer Visualization and Animation BAHons course at Bournemouth University. In fact, they offered me a place the day after my interview.
My point is... if I can understand where you're coming from at all, I think you need to take a subject that you would really enjoy, something that grabs your interest. If that subject is English... then perhaps it would be worth getting into a derivitive English course that would pander to your particular interests? By the sounds of things, I wouldn't think that poetry is really your thing, haha.
Whatever happens, I do wish you the best. I'd hate to think that your work would come to nothing, after battling with both academics and your own attitude. Best of luck!
- Thread Starter
- 09-08-2009 23:37
Wow, thanks for all the replies people!
@ReincarnatedParano - The subject I'd really love to take would be Computer Science, but maths is my Achilles heel, so that's a big no-no. Thanks for taking the time to tell me your story. Knowing how other people have accomplished things gives me hope that I can do the same ^_^
@LJBzzz - Am I going to work hard? Well, the last year of 6th form was a complete turn around on a lifetime of academic laziness, so yes.
Am I academic, and do I gain satisfaction from said academia? Overall, no I don't think I am very academic, if I'm honest, I do gain satisfaction from learning though, just not when it involves sitting in front of a textbook all day.
I think I'd go into uni with the best of intentions, only for my interest to dwindle in the second year to be revived again in the third. It takes me a while to think things through, as you can probably tell
@OhNO! & Will1692- I have no idea what I want to do, either after education or at all. I've never had any goals, which may be a large contributing factor to my lack of motivation. As I said above to RP, I'd love to work with computers, but haven't taken the necessary steps previously to be able to follow that path.
Again, thank you all for your replies. It's given me some real food for thought. *Continues chewing*
- 09-08-2009 23:51
Perhaps a more practical course would be suited to you?
- 10-08-2009 01:24