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i'm going to read the first 10 posts in this thread out loud and post video watch

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    Irrelevance is ******* awesome.
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    i love , i love , i love , i love big fat jucy carrots
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    It's time to play the music
    It's time to light the lights
    t's time to meet the Muppets on the Muppet Show tonight.

    It's time to put on makeup
    It's time to dress up right
    It's time to raise the curtain on the Muppet Show tonight.

    Why do we always come here
    I guess we'll never know
    It's like a kind of torture
    To have to watch the show

    And now let's get things started
    Why don't you get things started
    It's time to get things started
    On the most sensational inspirational celebrational Muppetational
    This is what we call the Muppet Show!
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    Gabriel Oak is an up-and-coming shepherd in the prime of life at twenty-eight years of age. With the savings of a frugal life, he has leased and stocked a sheep-farm. He falls in love with a newcomer eight years his junior, Bathsheba Everdene, a proud and somewhat vain young beauty who arrives to live with her aunt, Mrs. Hurst. She comes to like him well enough, and even saves his life once, but when he makes her an unadorned offer of marriage, she refuses; she values her independence too much and him too little. Gabriel's blunt protestations only serve to drive her to haughtiness. After a few months, she moves to Weatherbury, a village some miles off.

    When next they meet, their circumstances have changed drastically. An inexperienced new sheepdog drives Gabriel's flock over a cliff, ruining him. After selling off everything of value, he manages to settle all his debts, but emerges penniless. He seeks employment at a work fair in the town of Casterbridge (a fictionalised version of Dorchester). When he finds none, he heads to another fair in Shottsford, a town about ten miles from Weatherbury.

    On the way, he happens upon a dangerous fire on a farm and leads the bystanders in putting it out. When the veiled owner comes to thank him, he asks if she needs a shepherd. She uncovers her face and reveals herself to be none other than Bathsheba Everdene. She has very recently inherited the considerable estate of her uncle and is now a wealthy woman. Though somewhat uncomfortable with the situation, she hires him.

    Meanwhile, Bathsheba has a new admirer; the lonely and repressed William Boldwood. Boldwood is a prosperous farmer of about forty whose ardour Bathsheba unwittingly awakens when – her curiosity piqued because he has never bestowed on her the customary admiring glance – she playfully sends him a valentine sealed with red wax on which she has embossed the words "Marry me". Boldwood, not realising the valentine was a jest, becomes obsessed with Bathsheba, and soon proposes marriage. Although she does not love him, she toys with the idea of accepting his offer; he is, after all, the most eligible bachelor in the district. However, she postpones giving him a definite answer. When Gabriel rebukes her for her thoughtlessness, she fires him.

    Then her sheep begin dying from bloat. She discovers to her chagrin that Gabriel is the only man who knows how to cure them. Her pride delays the inevitable, but finally she is forced to beg him for help. Afterwards, she offers him back his job and their friendship is restored.


    "She took up her position as directed." Troy courts Bathsheba; Cornhill illustration by Helen Paterson AllinghamAt this point, the dashing Sergeant Francis (Frank) Troy returns to his native Weatherbury and by chance encounters Bathsheba one night. Her initial dislike turns to infatuation after he excites her with a private display of expert swordsmanship. Gabriel observes Bathsheba's interest in the young soldier and tries to discourage it, telling her she would be better off marrying Boldwood. Totally smitten, however, she elopes to Bath with Troy. Upon their return, Boldwood offers his rival a large bribe to give up Bathsheba. Troy pretends to consider the offer, then scornfully announces that they are already married. Boldwood withdraws, humiliated and vowing revenge.

    Bathsheba soon discovers that her new husband is an improvident gambler with little interest in farming. Worse, she begins to suspect that he does not love her. In fact, Troy's heart belongs to her former servant, Fanny Robin. Before meeting Bathsheba, Troy had promised to marry Fanny; on the wedding day, however, the luckless girl goes to the wrong church. She explains her mistake, but Troy, humiliated at being left waiting at the altar, angrily calls off the wedding. When they part, unbeknownst to Troy, Fanny is pregnant with his child.


    Fanny Robin on her way to the Casterbridge workhouse. Cornhill illustration by Helen Paterson AllinghamSome months afterward, Troy and Bathsheba encounter Fanny on the road, destitute, as she painfully makes her way toward the Casterbridge workhouse. Troy sends his wife onward with the horse and gig before she can recognise the girl, then gives her all the money in his pocket, telling her he will give her more in a few days. Fanny uses up the last of her strength to reach her destination. A few hours later, she dies in childbirth, along with the baby. Mother and child are then placed in a coffin and sent home to Weatherbury for interment. Gabriel, who has long known of Troy's relationship with Fanny, tries to conceal the child's existence - but Bathsheba, guessing the truth, and wild with jealousy, arranges for the coffin to be left in her house overnight. When all the servants are in bed, she unscrews the lid and sees the two bodies inside – her husband's former lover and their child.

    Troy then comes home from Casterbridge, where he had gone to keep his appointment with Fanny. Seeing the reason for her failure to meet him, he gently kisses the corpse and tells the anguished Bathsheba, "This woman is more to me, dead as she is, than ever you were, or are, or can be." The next day, he spends all his money on a white marble tombstone with the inscription "Erected by Francis Troy in beloved memory of Fanny Robin..." Then, loathing himself and unable to bear Bathsheba's company, he leaves. After a long walk to the coast, he bathes in the sea to refresh himself, leaving his clothes on the beach. A strong current carries him away.

    A year later, with Troy presumed drowned, Boldwood renews his suit. Burdened with guilt over the pain she has caused him, Bathsheba reluctantly consents to marry him in six months time, as long as Troy has not returned.

    Troy, however, is not dead. When he learns that Boldwood is again courting Bathsheba, he returns to Weatherbury on Christmas Eve to claim his wife. He goes to Boldwood's house, where a party is underway, and orders Bathsheba to come with him; when she shrinks back, he seizes her arm, and she screams. At this, Boldwood shoots Troy dead with an 870 shotgun and tries unsuccessfully to turn the shotgun on himself. Although he is condemned to hang for murder, his friends petition the Home Secretary for mercy, citing insanity. This is granted and Boldwood's sentence is changed to "confinement at Her Majesty's Pleasure". Bathsheba, profoundly chastened by guilt and grief, buries her husband in the same grave as Fanny Robin and their child, and adds a suitable inscription to the marker.

    Throughout her tribulations, she comes to rely more and more on her oldest and (as she admits to herself) only real friend, Gabriel. When he gives notice that he is leaving her employ, she finally realises how important he has become to her well-being. One night, she goes alone to visit him in his house, to find out why he is (in her eyes) deserting her. Pressed, he reluctantly reveals that it is because people have been injuring her good name by gossiping that he wants to marry her. She exclaims that it is "...too absurd - too soon - to think of, by far!" He bitterly agrees that it is absurd, but when she corrects him, saying that it is only "too soon", he is emboldened to ask once again for her hand in marriage. She accepts, and the two are quietly wed
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    Mister Splashy Pants, or Mr. Splashypants, is the name of a humpback whale in the South Pacific Ocean. It's being tracked with a satellite tag by Greenpeace as a part of its Great Whale Trail Expedition,[1] which was working to raise awareness about whales threatened by the Japanese Fisheries Agency's plan to kill 50 humpback whales. The whale's name was chosen in an online poll that garnered attention from several websites, including Boing Boing and Reddit
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    I always had a relatively happy life, up until secondary school, where I started to get bullied.
    This came to a head in Year 9, when out of nowhere the bully came up to me and punched me hard in the back of the neck.
    Now I have seen a chiropractor (unsuccesfully) and am now going to another specialist who I have been referred to, who hopefully can relieve the problem, although I have been told I am probably going to have to keep the clicking/cracking in my neck.

    It is this clicking/cracking which I have got ever since I got punched.
    You could say that I may have got a cracking neck anyway, but I'll never know.

    Anyway, this may interest the psychology students amongst you, I hope you can help (Yes I know this is no substitute for professional help, but as I am on a long waiting list, I would appreciate help from you TSR!)...

    Basically, every time my neck clicks, I get upset, thinking it shouldn't be happening, because I didn't deserve to get punched. This is annoying but I can live with it.
    It is when I get an "extreme" case that I get upset.
    Let me give you a real life example that happened recently:
    Suppose I had to be on the phone for half an hour to my doctor about my neck (which I believe wouldn't have happened if it wasn't for the punch), then I missed the chance to talk to someone. (I heard them outside while I was on the phone, but when I had finished they were gone).

    I then worried about this when I heard them the next day outside my room. By this I mean I hesitated and thought whether I should just burst out and talk to them or not, as we haven't really spoken before.
    It would undoubtedly have helped my confidence if we had spoken the night before, but of course I was on the phone because of my neck.

    I now think of many things that "would have" happened had we spoken, but that haven't happened.

    You must be thinking: just talk to them now. Well thats the problem: I don't think this is "the right time" and am worried that if anything goes wrong in the conversation its getting too late to call friends for support on this.

    It is this chain of thought: If I never got punched, I wouldn't have been on the phone then, we would have chatted yesterday, we could then have chatted more today, we would be on our way to becoming great friends.

    that annoys me, because that is not true.
    I could try and make friends today, but if it doesn't work I will be so upset.
    Its like being normally upset at someone rejecting you I guess, but with the added damage of it being because of an old bully.
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    Cumbubble.
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    I adore Hitler and Stalin
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    Testicles. That is all.
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    For comparing meerkats, come to comparethemeerkat.com

    Simples!
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    'I like to shave hairy butts'
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    Aww, I'm too late! :sad: I wanted to get you to say 'Arsenal are the best' or something.

    Edit - when you do it, you must 'say' the smilies and and 'rofl's or 'lol's etc. in the posts too! :awesome:
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    (Original post by necessarily benevolent)
    ...
    Whenever someone sings that song, I am genuinely proud of south Wales.
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    (Original post by Deano88)
    - Hi Barbie!
    - Hi Ken!
    - You wanna go for a ride?
    - Sure, Ken!
    - Jump in!
    - Ha ha ha ha!

    I'm a Barbie girl in the Barbie world
    Life in plastic, it's fantastic
    You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere
    Imagination, life is your creation

    Come on, Barbie, let's go party

    I'm a Barbie girl in the Barbie world
    Life in plastic, it's fantastic
    You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere
    Imagination, life is your creation

    I'm a blonde single girl in the fantasy world
    Dress me up, take your time, I'm your dollie
    You're my doll, rock and roll, feel the glamour and pain
    Kiss me here, touch me there, hanky-panky

    You can touch, you can play
    You can say I'm always yours, oooh whoa

    I'm a Barbie girl in the Barbie world
    Life in plastic, it's fantastic
    You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere
    Imagination, life is your creation

    Come on, Barbie, let's go party, ha ha ha, yeah
    Come on, Barbie, let's go party, oooh, oooh
    Come on, Barbie, let's go party, ha ha ha, yeah
    Come on, Barbie, let's go party, oooh, oooh

    Make me walk, make me talk, do whatever you please
    I can act like a star, I can beg on my knees
    Come jump in, be my friend, let us do it again
    Hit the town, fool around, let's go party

    You can touch, you can play
    You can say I'm always yours
    You can touch, you can play
    You can say I'm always yours

    Come on, Barbie, let's go party, ha ha ha, yeah
    Come on, Barbie, let's go party, oooh, oooh
    Come on, Barbie, let's go party, ha ha ha, yeah
    Come on, Barbie, let's go party, oooh, oooh

    I'm a Barbie girl in the Barbie world
    Life in plastic, it's fantastic
    You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere
    Imagination, life is your creation

    I'm a Barbie girl in the Barbie world
    Life in plastic, it's fantastic
    You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere
    Imagination, life is your creation

    Come on, Barbie, let's go party, ha ha ha, yeah
    Come on, Barbie, let's go party, oooh, oooh
    Come on, Barbie, let's go party, ha ha ha, yeah
    Come on, Barbie, let's go party, oooh, oooh

    - Oh, I'm having so much fun!
    - Well, Barbie, we're just getting started!
    - Oh, I love you Ken!

    LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
    • PS Helper
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    PS Helper
    mooooooooooooonpiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii igg dot com
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    Good day shopkeep. I require a hand-operated buzz saw, capable of cutting through a human sternum. It's for a school project. I'm some sort of student sent here from... oh blast what the devil do they study, Uh... Latin Class.
    Allow me to purchase the provisions I demand or I shall transform your blue collar into a red one and... who the deuce are you? No, I don't have any spare change. Where the hell would I keep it, in my diaper? Get out of here you hobo. Oh, bloody hell, is this thing still on?
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    I'm bored, hence this video.
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    My name is Bateman and my interests are fair misogynists, hamas, hezbolla and Pixie lott
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    I literally have no life and will do anything to gain attention.

    Edit: lol @ Chrrye's post!!!!!!
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    OP has bitten off more than he can chew. I'll be impressed if he does all of this.
    Also:

    ML: Any world order
    That elevates one nation over another
    Will fall flat
    SG: Ah, snap
    ML: I think that goes against the idea of American exceptionalism
    SG: Exceptional fast food and exceptional dance moves.
    ML: Most Americans believe that this country was gifted by God, a blessed nation, and that we are better.
    SG: Yeah, we the promised land, a sacred place, gettin blessed by Joe Biden in space!
    JB: God bless America!
    All: Ay!
    JB: Gah-awd bless America!
    All: Ay!!
    JB: God bless, God God bless
    God bless America!!
    All: Ay-men!!!
    SB: Do you realize if you were to take that lettuce, dry it, and roll it, and smoke it...
    MG: I know, it tastes like goat ****.
    SB: You smoke your lettuce.
    MG: Believe me, I've tried.
    SB: You're gonna end up with similar problems than if you were smoking tobacco.
    MG: I know, fo sho, you should try it with tomato - burnin salad in my throat!
    RM: Steve Buyer, warning complacent Americans about the risks of smoking lettuce.
    MG: You can warn me all you want, but you'll never stop my leafy green fetish.
    SB: It's not the nicotine that kills! It's the smoooooke! The smooooooke. Cancer: it's the smoke. Heart disease: it's the smoke. Respiratory disease: it's the smoooooooke! It's the, it's the inhalation, it's the smooooke, the smooooooke. If they wanna obtain their nicotine, it's okay. It's the smooooooke, the smooooooooooooke!
    SG: The more produce we come across, the more problems we see.
    KC: Some companies say they've received hundreds of applications for just a single opening.
    One man sent a shoooooe to his prospective employer
    EG: Shawtayee, don't you know
    That Air Jordan was from meeee?
    KC: I wore a long, white eyelet dress and a floppy white hat
    And carried a walking stick
    EG: Oo-wee! Am I crazy, am I trippin on shrooms
    Or you singin bout pimpin on the late night news?
    Katie Coo, baby boo, you got swagga like a star
    Don't stop, real talk, we gon take it to the charts!
    You can be
    KC: Lady Gaga
    EG: I can be
    KC: T-Pain
    EG: We can be
    KC: Bringing on the boogie
    EG: Droppin rhymes like rain
    You can be
    KC: Lady Gaga
    EG: I can be
    KC: T-Pain
    Both: Bringing on the boogie
    EG: With floppy hats and pimp canes
    LC: We've got some breaking news
    Let's go to Tracy Burns--she's got all the news
    TB: Actually, Liz, I think you wanna jump up to Robert
    Robert: Tracy, baby, you crazy
    I don't know what the hell's goin on
    Or where the camera belongs
    Let's go to Nicole
    NP: Me?
    Robert: Yeah, you
    NP: Me?
    Robert: Baby boo
    NP: Me?
    Robert: Whooo-ooooooooh
    NP: Me?
    Robert: Nicole don't know; let's throw it to Joe
    Joe: Uh, you know, I'm, uh, tryna get a hold of this myself
    Breaking news guys, um
    I, I don't have it, Liz, I have to send it back down to you
    I'm afraid
    LC: Okay, that's okay
    But the basics of it is
    Clearly this is a fascinating story
 
 
 
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