Recently my other half has been friends with a guy at work, which is ok and nice he is able to socialise and things. Thing is, the more time he is with him, is slowly that he is turning into his friend, going out late drinking, blowing all his money on payday and complete attititude have occurred, all of which he would never have done before in a million years. It's affecting me though, I get the runt of his attitude, constant rudeness and arrogance and being talked to in an unpleasant way, making me feel like he cares less about me He then turns it round, saying i'm making him feel bad for going out, which I never do, i'm always supportive, and all I ask is that I get a couple of texts to know he is alright, as in he has arrived home safe etc. I told him I was going out with a friend for a night out, which is very unlike me, to see his reaction, and he was just as concerned as I was and noticed a difference, reacting the same way as I did to him, so it's not very fair I try and talk to him, but he just won't have it about his friend, and it's making me really sad, I miss the old him Anyone else had this before? Is there anything I can do apart from be supportive and just get through it until uni next month when the friend isn't about?
Friends changing people. watch
- 02-08-2009 15:00
- 02-08-2009 15:39
(Original post by bikipip)
- 02-08-2009 16:10
Well I don't think it's possible for friends to 'change people' but it is possible for them to bring out a side of their personality (good or bad) that they have not expressed before.
I had a friend who went to uni and came back a sexist alcoholic man wh*re. I'm pretty sure it was the friends he made at uni. I still love him as a friend and have made it clear that I don't like his behavior and I do think he tries to tone it down when he's around me.
At the end of the day, I can't blame his friends, because he obviously always had this personality inside him, it's just his friends brought it out. Have you ever heard the phrase "He/She brings out the worst in people" ?? - I think that sums it up.
I think you should let him know exactly how you feel (what you've typed here) and then see if it gets better, if it doesn't then maybe it will be better to reassess your relationship with him.
I've told him I don't like his attitude, and told him everything here. He asked me if I still wanted to be with him, I said yes but I feel like I'm questioning it now because of the way he's been acting and making me feel. Only time can tell I suppose, and like I said this guy won't be around for much longer, so I guess just have to out up with it for a little while longer.