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    I think my parents are spliting up.
    F***, I just can't f****** believe it, my mom already split from my birth dad once and now shs seems pretty tense when I mention my step dad, his supposely be away on work for the past month and I noticed something was wrong when some of his shoes was missing, I then checked their wardrobe some of his clothes was missing too.

    She just burst out crying when I asked why he is staying in the other house..........

    f***, oh, Jesus man I can't handle this....

    Just need to know how to deal with this things......

    oh God, this is not happening again..........
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    SHow your support to your mum, she is obviously not in a great place right now, and your support to her is going to mean alot. I know you must feel there is little you can say or do, but honestly just your promise of being there for her is going to mean enough to her even if you cant make things better, which you cant be expected to anyway.
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    Take a deep breath and calm down a but and try talking to your mum. Make sure you are there for her as it is likely she will be hurting. If you are close to him make sure you keep in contact regularly. I know what it feels like as my mum has divorced twice now and it's no easier the second time than the first time but it will be ok in the end. Make sure you talk to someone about the way you are feeling as it will help. (:
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    (Original post by letsdothetimewarpagain)
    Take a deep breath and calm down a but and try talking to your mum. Make sure you are there for her as it is likely she will be hurting. If you are close to him make sure you keep in contact regularly. I know what it feels like as my mum has divorced twice now and it's no easier the second time than the first time but it will be ok in the end. Make sure you talk to someone about the way you are feeling as it will help. (:
    I think the second one is going to be worse, the first one was a divorce waiting to happen, my birth dad was just that kind of not caring binge drinking alcoholic, my mum had a childhood crush on him for some years but my second dad he seemed really nice, that is the problem, I didn't see it coming, I don't really take these things very well, I always see it as happening to someone else's family, but twice.
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    Sorry bout the situation. While you should be there for your mum, she also needs to be honest with you and be upfront about the situation. She needs to be there for you too! Your losing out on a father who's being there for you and helped raise you. Can you talk to anyone in your family about this?
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    Talk to your mum as calmly as possible, find out what is actually happening. Make sure you get a contact phone number or email address for your step dad (email gives you a way to get his number) and talk to him as well. Be as supportive as possible, but make it clear that you will not be taking sides and you want to retain contact with your step dad (if that is the case).

    Id there anyone (another adult) you can talk to to work through your own emotions - preferably someone outside your immediate family?
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    (Original post by lilsuperhunni)
    Sorry bout the situation. While you should be there for your mum, she also needs to be honest with you and be upfront about the situation. She needs to be there for you too! Your losing out on a father who's being there for you and helped raise you. Can you talk to anyone in your family about this?
    Not really, my mum and me are chinese backgrounds, the rest of our family is in china, my step dad is English but I'm not very close to his side of the family.

    At least now I know he is moving out, his computer was gone when I got up this morning.

    The worst thing is I don't think my mum could support me on her own, or the house, is not massive but our household income largely come from my step dad and my mum worked as his manager since they got married but the real problem is my mum doesn't have any english qualifications save Englisg GCSE and maths GCSE, my step dad took her on because they lived together and he knows my mum can do the job but I don't think most employers are going to hire some with no qualification(a decend job I mean), to make things worse, I go to a private school.
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    Edit: Private school, dones ASs already.
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    The really bad thing is I don't want to know why he is moving out, because it probably will be reasonable if you were in his shoes, for all the years I know him, he has never done anything that is outrageously wrong, or hot headed, everything he does is thought through. That is also why is hit me quite hard, even know I suspected something was wrong, for over a month now.
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    There's probably no chance they'll still work together though, but your step dad might be decent enough to still help you and your mum out. He treated you like his own son I'm sure. You need to talk to him and keep the contact going. At the same time, you really need to talk to your mum and discuss her options. She could always go back to school and learn more if needs be.
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    (Original post by lilsuperhunni)
    There's probably no chance they'll still work together though, but your step dad might be decent enough to still help you and your mum out. He treated you like his own daughter I'm sure. You need to talk to him and keep the contact going. At the same time, you really need to talk to your mum and discuss her options. She could always go back to school and learn more if needs be.
    I am a boy.
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    My bad but still the main point stands
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    Just remember that the family home is exempt from the 50/50 'except' what you bring into a marriage rule. But, I'd bet that if you have two houses then its probably the family home that's got the biggest mortgage on it, and therefore is worth next to nothing in a divorce settlement...

    So hard divorce wrangling aside, you never know it may just be a temporary thing. It's probably best for your own piece of mind to get the full story from your mum, and then to be there for her if your worst fears are confirmed...
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    I understand how you feel.My mother is re married and many times when I hear them fighting I worry they 'll break up again. Sometimes I think ok, I hardly have free time to see my birth father, how on earth am I supposed to find time to visit my step dad too ? I love him all the same.
    I realise the situation is **** basically. I think though that your mother needs you right now, and you should try to be strong for her. Tell her things will get better. If she still wants to be with him, maybe they can discuss it and find a way ? If not, then you have to respect her decision, and stand by her. I am sure you want her to be happy, so you should try focusing on that. Maybe spend more time with her ? As for you, try to distract your mind. Remember that we never lose contact with the people we love, your parents breaking up doesn't have to affect your relationship with any of them. You can still get to see your step dad whenever you want, and spend quality time with him. I know it's a big change in your every day life, but time will make it better.
    I hope things work out for the best
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Not really, my mum and me are chinese backgrounds, the rest of our family is in china, my step dad is English but I'm not very close to his side of the family.

    At least now I know he is moving out, his computer was gone when I got up this morning.

    The worst thing is I don't think my mum could support me on her own, or the house, is not massive but our household income largely come from my step dad and my mum worked as his manager since they got married but the real problem is my mum doesn't have any english qualifications save Englisg GCSE and maths GCSE, my step dad took her on because they lived together and he knows my mum can do the job but I don't think most employers are going to hire some with no qualification(a decend job I mean), to make things worse, I go to a private school.
    Do you think there is a chance your step father will support you ? You only have one more year till you leave school, go to uni and fully support yourself.
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    Wow....almost my exact same situation! Mum & dad split when I was 6 now mum & step dad splitting up - feel like I have no one left really....is your mum also possibly moving to another country in the next month, cos if so this is creepy....
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    Firstly, I'm sorry to hear of your situation, especially if its happened before. My parents split up about 3 years ago and the official divorce came through last year, it's hard.
    When my parents first told me that they were breaking up, I just drew really angry pictures and kept them in a secret place, maybe that could help you?
    Remember the arabic proverb "it takes two hands to clap", but also give both your parents support as and when they ask for it / need it from you, its bound to be difficult for all of you and the more you help each other the easier it will be for you.
    Sorry if my advice wasnt up to scratch but I hope I helped, good luck with you situation =)

    EDIT:On the positive side, because your parents relationship hasnt worked out so well, it might make you more acute to people's feelings and make your own relationships more successful. Just an afterthought for you.
    =)
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I think my parents are spliting up.
    F***, I just can't f****** believe it, my mom already split from my birth dad once and now shs seems pretty tense when I mention my step dad, his supposely be away on work for the past month and I noticed something was wrong when some of his shoes was missing, I then checked their wardrobe some of his clothes was missing too.

    She just burst out crying when I asked why he is staying in the other house..........

    f***, oh, Jesus man I can't handle this....

    Just need to know how to deal with this things......

    oh God, this is not happening again..........

    How old are you?
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    Try to calm down a bit and just gather yourself. Parents getting divorced is always hard, but life must go on and its not always the end of the world.
 
 
 
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