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    So me and my boyfriend had a lovely relaxed evening planned for tomorrow night at his house as he's been away recently and I've been looking forward to it for ages. But he just rang to say his grandparents are coming over for dinner so it can't happen anymore.

    I know this isn't because his mum has said she doesn't want to cook for an extra person as I would understand that, it's because he's too embarrassed to have me around his family members. He was like this with his parents when we were first going out. I don't understand, I'd be fine with his grandparents, his parents like me, what's the big deal?

    Am I being stupid to feel offended? We could easily have dinner with his family, we could chat to the grandparents until it was acceptable to go off and do our own things. I've tried to speak to him about it but he doesn't really explain, I know it's just because he's embarrassed and although it's not really about me, it makes me feel a bit rubbish.
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    Maybe he hasn't seen his grandparents for a while and/or its a family affair? How long have you been together? Ok you're disappointed but surely you can rearrange for another day?
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    I think it would be much easier if you just talked to him about it. I see all these threads where girls/boys are worried/angry about something there boyfriend/girlfriend has done or not done or said or not said. Most of them could be easily settle if they actually COMMUNICATED which each other.

    have a nice day.
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    Sorry but... tough titties. Family come before boyfriends and girlfriends. If I ditched a family meal to be with my boyfriend, I'd get so much bother for it.
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    I know how you feel. Me nd my gf were supposed to meet up last week but she keeps making new plans so now were going to meet up next week i havent seen her for a few months now..

    just be patient i guess thats all you can do and what xXMessedUpXx said it might be a family affair ..
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    Well maybe he's just close to his family and wants to spent some quality time alone with his grand parents. It really isn't a crime.
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    It may be a family thing and he wants to spend some time with all the family, i wouldnt take it to much to heart, arrange something for the week and look forward to seeing him, i assume he isnt someone that usually bails on you? So there must be a genuine reason to bail on you this time, and im sure it is because of you.
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    (Original post by xXMessedUpXx)
    Maybe he hasn't seen his grandparents for a while and/or its a family affair? How long have you been together? Ok you're disappointed but surely you can rearrange for another day?
    We've been together almost 2 years, sorry I should have mentioned that.

    It's not about the evening as such, it's the fact that he's so resistant to me meeting any of his family members.
    These grandparents have a house in Mallorca which we went to stay in at Easter (when they weren't there) and I've never even met them.

    (Original post by smellslikemarmite)
    Sorry but... tough titties. Family come before boyfriends and girlfriends. If I ditched a family meal to be with my boyfriend, I'd get so much bother for it.
    Not asking him to ditch the meal at all, just don't see why I can't come too. I know his parents wouldn't mind, it's just him that does.

    (Original post by fallen angel9)
    Well maybe he's just close to his family and wants to spent some quality time alone with his grand parents. It really isn't a crime.
    He's not though. He's really upset our evening can't happen. Of course not, if he said 'I'm really sorry, I really want to spend some time with my family' I wouldn't mind at all. It's the fact that it's because he's embarrassed of having me there. I wouldn't mind if he came to a lunch with my grandparents - I once invited him and he said no.
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    Maybe it's a 'family only' thing.
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    Maybe he wants to spend time with his family alone. Accept it and move on.. :eyebrow:
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    (Original post by fallen angel9)
    Well maybe he's just close to his family and wants to spent some quality time alone with his grand parents. It really isn't a crime.
    This. I don't get what the OP's issue is. Girls these days. :rolleyes:
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    (Original post by Psycho0101)
    This. I don't get what the OP's issue is. Girls these days. :rolleyes:
    I know. I feel like I don't understand my own gender anymore
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    maybe hes embarassed to show u his fmaily.
    esp if the grents are round - some senstivie topics may be discussed that he might not want you to hear.
    just chill out. its not a big deal.
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    (Original post by Psycho0101)
    This. I don't get what the OP's issue is. Girls these days. :rolleyes:
    I've tried to explain that this isn't about spending quality time with his family. He's not that close to them, he's skipping his family holiday this year.

    If he didn't want me there because it was a family thing and he wanted to spend quality time with them I wouldn't feel offended, it's that he doesn't want me to meet them because he's embarrassed.
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    So he wants to spend some time with his grand parents and maybe they'd also like his undivided attention instead of having to pamper what seems like a high maintenance demanding girlfriend, is this not allowed?
    Besides, what make you even think you come before family? You're only a girlfriend!
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    (Original post by Davy-Jones)
    So he wants to spend some time with his grand parents and maybe they'd also like his undivided attention instead of having to pamper what seems like a high maintenance demanding girlfriend, is this not allowed?
    Besides, what make you even think you come before family? You're only a girlfriend!
    Yeah fair enough.

    I'm actually a ridiculously low-maintenance girlfriend, this has just bothered me a lot for some reason.

    I don't think I come before family at all, it just always makes me feel a bit rubbish when he's so embarrassed to show me to family members. He didn't want me meeting his parents for months when we were going out and I didn't understand why. I'm not sure they did either, when they finally met me they made loads of jokes about it. They once even invited me to lunch with his grandparents and he refused to let me come.

    But anyway, thanks guys, I just needed some perspective, I won't mention it to him.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've tried to explain that this isn't about spending quality time with his family. He's not that close to them, he's skipping his family holiday this year.

    If he didn't want me there because it was a family thing and he wanted to spend quality time with them I wouldn't feel offended, it's that he doesn't want me to meet them because he's embarrassed.
    Well if that is the case, I'm not sure. What I will say is that people are too involved with their gf's/bf's lives and also think that they are the most important person in their partner's life.

    The truth is that you're only a gf/bf and it doesn't mean a lot, especially at a younger age. The chances are that you'll break up and move on. Maybe people should stop being so involved and giving it so much of importance. That was you won't be disappointment with every little thing.

    That's just my opinion, based on what I see around me everyday.

    PS: This does not apply to OP but is a more general post.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I don't think I come before family at all, it just always makes me feel a bit rubbish when he's so embarrassed to show me to family members. He didn't want me meeting his parents for months when we were going out and I didn't understand why. I'm not sure they did either, when they finally met me they made loads of jokes about it. They once even invited me to lunch with his grandparents and he refused to let me come.
    Maybe the reason behind him not introducing you to his family is not because he's embarrassed of you, but perhaps he just doesn't choose to share his personal love life with them or it could be that his parents hold a strict stance on relationships or he just doesn't want his relationship being discussed within the house amongst family members. Some guys also don't because the girl gets all hopeful and gets the impression it's more serious than it actually is.
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    I don't like introducing girls to my parents let alone grandparents! Just leave the poor boy alone. Unless of course you've been together for like 3 years.
 
 
 
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