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in relationship with a girl from my group of friends and shes upset Watch

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    (Original post by DOA)
    I want to keep it a secret from our friends for the following reasons: (in order of importance)

    - I dont want them interfearing
    If your friends are interfering with your relationship, why can't you just ask them to back off and let you deal with it yourselves?

    - dont want a fuss if we breaK up
    If you break up while the relationship is still a secret there'll probably be even more fuss in the end. First of all, your friends will find out because there's no way you two can just casually hang out with them and each other right after the break up like nothing's happened. And how do you think your friends'll feel when they find out? Talk to them about their behaviour so you guys can work it out.

    - no extra guests in fights
    - no girl talk about me
    People always talk about other people's business behind their backs. Not necessarily in a mean way, but people talk. I talk about my friends with my friends a lot. And I'm guessing people talk about me, or not. I don't really care to know. The more you think about it the more it'll bother you.

    - were the boy & girl who everyone said should be together and I dont want them to be right
    Yes, I hate it too when others are right and I'm wrong, but that's life.

    Im only asking to do it for 3 months so we are an estabished couple first but she doesnt want to, is it me or her in the wrong?
    ...
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    (Original post by elisabethbridge)
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    i suppoe your right
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    DOA you speak sense...

    but poor girl?
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    never date within your group unless you want to share EVERYTHING with all of them
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    #1

    Me and my boyfriend kept our relationship a secret for nearly 2 years - people did ask us if were an item because we were always hanging out but we just said no and people believed us because we never did any holding hands/hugging/kissing in public. We of course did have a few people who knew and who didn't go around gossiping about it. Eventually, when we were totally settled and the people who used to bully us (our first attempt at a relationship was destroyed by bullying) had left town we just didn't care and now everyone knows, lol. I think it is a good idea to start off secretly because it gives you a chance to get comfortable without people being nosy or making you feel insecure. You don't have to tell the whole world what isn't their business. Although I wouldn't recommend hiding it for 2 years, lol, we only hid it that long because eventually we just forgot to tell people.
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    (Original post by bikipip)
    I did the same with a male friend for the exact same reasons. He ended up telling them in secret anyway and the fact that it was meant to be a secret just made it even more juicy gossip to them. It turned into a secret everyone but myself knew, and yes they interfered, and I ended up breaking up with him over it. It caused even more of a fuss than it would have if we had just been honest tbh.
    i suppose
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    (Original post by nathan2010)
    never date within your group unless you want to share EVERYTHING with all of them

    so true
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Me and my boyfriend kept our relationship a secret for nearly 2 years - people did ask us if were an item because we were always hanging out but we just said no and people believed us because we never did any holding hands/hugging/kissing in public. We of course did have a few people who knew and who didn't go around gossiping about it. Eventually, when we were totally settled and the people who used to bully us (our first attempt at a relationship was destroyed by bullying) had left town we just didn't care and now everyone knows, lol. I think it is a good idea to start off secretly because it gives you a chance to get comfortable without people being nosy or making you feel insecure. You don't have to tell the whole world what isn't their business. Although I wouldn't recommend hiding it for 2 years, lol, we only hid it that long because eventually we just forgot to tell people.
    were only doing it for 3 months
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    Your friends won't give a ****, just tell them
    And grow up about it
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    So you're reasons are:

    - I dont want them interfearing They're both your friends, they always say you two should be together so it sounds like they interfere anyway
    - dont want a fuss if we breaK up She's not going to be happy breaking up, and won't keep it to herself. Her friends will find out anyway and therefore have a bigger fuss about how and why you kept it a secret too. Plus as soon as you go out, you don't want it big because you MIGHT break up? thats quite unconfident and will probably make her think you expect to break up even if you don't.
    - no extra guests in fights Sounds like you expect to be fighting, and your friends will notice when somethings up between you two anyway even if they don't think you're a couple. And then Interfere anyway.
    - no girl talk about me They already girl talk about you.
    - were the boy & girl who everyone said should be together and I dont want them to be right Why is that? Makes her think you're putting your own pride before proudness of her.

    You don't have very good reasons to keep it a secret, and all of them could be taken to upset her. Just the fact that you want to keep her a secret makes it seem you're embarressed of her. No wonder she's upset.

    Oh and your friends will be happy you two are going out, they're your friends not your enemies right?
 
 
 
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