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Weak reason for break up? watch

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    3 weeks ago my girlfriend broke up with me. She was my first love so it's been quite hard to get over her because this is all so new (although I don't know, it might not get any easier).

    On the day of the break up I wanted to talk to her about the relationship. I was feeling it had become very one-sided and due to it I was feeling very insecure. I felt like I was the one doing everything and trying to make the relationship work and, at times, it felt like she just didn't care much because she never really bothered much. So I told her all that and I told her that I wanted things to change and for things to become more balanced - as they should be.

    After having told her this she said that she couldn't be with me anymore after having realised how much she had hurt me. I told her she hadn't really hurt me or else I would have left her ages ago but she insisted. She also kept saying she now knew how much of a horrible person she was (again, not true).

    After some time having passed though I've come to think it was quite a weak or bad reason for a break up. I feel as though she made the decision for me - I mean surely I'm the one meant to decide if she is hurting me or a horrible person - if I don't think she is then surely it should be fine with us staying together?

    It's made me think she didn't have as strong feelings for me as I did for her because to me it seems like she took the easy route and didn't want to bother changing and making the relationship work better.
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    Are you sure you didn't just provide her with opportunity she was looking for to get out of the relationship? It sounds like that tbh
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    She probably didnt want the relationship? I dont really think its your fault but here's the thing if it has only been 3 weeks since your breakup you might have a chance of still getting her back. Try to get hold of her if you can and talk to her face to face. But first prepare yourself what you're gonna say....all the best to you man.
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    After some time having passed though I've come to think it was quite a weak or bad reason for a break up. I feel as though she made the decision for me - I mean surely I'm the one meant to decide if she is hurting me or a horrible person - if I don't think she is then surely it should be fine with us staying together?
    You are not the only person who was in that relationship. Learn to live with it.
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    Tbh it just sounds like she's taken this oppurtunity to finish the relationship, kinda saw it as an easy way to finish you. And it doesn't sound like she tryed to fight to make it work, it does sounds like an excuse to finish you.

    How long was you with her for?
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    [QUOTE=Anonymous]3 weeks ago my girlfriend broke up with me. She was my first love so it's been quite hard to get over her because this is all so new (although I don't know, it might not get any easier).

    On the day of the break up I wanted to talk to her about the relationship. I was feeling it had become very one-sided and due to it I was feeling very insecure. I felt like I was the one doing everything and trying to make the relationship work and, at times, it felt like she just didn't care much because she never really bothered much. So I told her all that and I told her that I wanted things to change and for things to become more balanced - as they should be.

    After having told her this she said that she couldn't be with me anymore after having realised how much she had hurt me. I told her she hadn't really hurt me or else I would have left her ages ago but she insisted. She also kept saying she now knew how much of a horrible person she was (again, not true).

    After some time having passed though I've come to think it was quite a weak or bad reason for a break up. I feel as though she made the decision for me - I mean surely I'm the one meant to decide if she is hurting me or a horrible person - if I don't think she is then surely it should be fine with us staying together?

    It's made me think she didn't have as strong feelings for me as I did for her because to me it seems like she took the easy route and didn't want to bother changing and making the relationship work better.[/QUOTE]

    I agree, if my boyfriend told me what you told her, I would feel bad I made him feel like that and because I love him, try harder to make the relationship work.

    It seems to me that her feeling too bad to carry on with the relationship is just an excuse, which is cowardly because in a way its giving out false hope, that she ended it because she felt so guilty for hurting you, not for that she didn't want to be with you.

    How long were you together anyway?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    3 weeks ago my girlfriend broke up with me. She was my first love so it's been quite hard to get over her because this is all so new (although I don't know, it might not get any easier).

    On the day of the break up I wanted to talk to her about the relationship. I was feeling it had become very one-sided and due to it I was feeling very insecure. I felt like I was the one doing everything and trying to make the relationship work and, at times, it felt like she just didn't care much because she never really bothered much. So I told her all that and I told her that I wanted things to change and for things to become more balanced - as they should be.

    After having told her this she said that she couldn't be with me anymore after having realised how much she had hurt me. I told her she hadn't really hurt me or else I would have left her ages ago but she insisted. She also kept saying she now knew how much of a horrible person she was (again, not true).

    After some time having passed though I've come to think it was quite a weak or bad reason for a break up. I feel as though she made the decision for me - I mean surely I'm the one meant to decide if she is hurting me or a horrible person - if I don't think she is then surely it should be fine with us staying together?

    It's made me think she didn't have as strong feelings for me as I did for her because to me it seems like she took the easy route and didn't want to bother changing and making the relationship work better.
    Doesn't matter what reason she gave, she doesn't want to be in a relationship with you any more, quit chasing.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    3 weeks ago my girlfriend broke up with me. She was my first love so it's been quite hard to get over her because this is all so new (although I don't know, it might not get any easier).

    On the day of the break up I wanted to talk to her about the relationship. I was feeling it had become very one-sided and due to it I was feeling very insecure. I felt like I was the one doing everything and trying to make the relationship work and, at times, it felt like she just didn't care much because she never really bothered much. So I told her all that and I told her that I wanted things to change and for things to become more balanced - as they should be.

    After having told her this she said that she couldn't be with me anymore after having realised how much she had hurt me. I told her she hadn't really hurt me or else I would have left her ages ago but she insisted. She also kept saying she now knew how much of a horrible person she was (again, not true).

    After some time having passed though I've come to think it was quite a weak or bad reason for a break up. I feel as though she made the decision for me - I mean surely I'm the one meant to decide if she is hurting me or a horrible person - if I don't think she is then surely it should be fine with us staying together?

    It's made me think she didn't have as strong feelings for me as I did for her because to me it seems like she took the easy route and didn't want to bother changing and making the relationship work better.
    Dude, I hate to say this, but my situation was exactly the same. However, all this happened almost 4 months ago with me, and if I'm honest, I'm not over her yet.

    Also, her reasons were pretty lame. Similar to yours in fact.

    However, the fact she wasn't putting in as much effort as you were suggests she didn't really want to be with you any more - and it sucks.

    From my experience, weak excuses usually describe the above situation.

    There is nothing you can do but move onto someone who appreciates you.
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    Sorry, but it sounds like she wasn't interested in being in a relationship with you so she was just using that as an excuse.
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    As hard as it is, try to move on. I think, as others have said, your ex didn't seem too interested or passionate about you.

    It's hard, but it's life.
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    I had something similar given as a reason for a breakup and tbh I'm still not sure why we broke up but I was over it pretty quick, I think it was because I was talking to my friends about breaking up with her constantly though and just stayed with her because I couldn't find anybody else at the time. I was a little broken up when she told me but I just got over it and wasn't really that phased when I found out she cheated on me or when I saw she had a new boyfriend.

    it is a pretty bad reason for a breakup but somebody who gives a reason like that normally isn't worth your time or effort, just don't think about it constantly and do stuff to take your mind off it just thinking about it is probably the worst thing you can do.
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    (Original post by starsdream2)
    Are you sure you didn't just provide her with opportunity she was looking for to get out of the relationship? It sounds like that tbh
    To be honest in a way I think I did. A few weeks ago from it ending she was becoming really non-caring and seemed like she just wanted a way to end it.

    (Original post by pink_princess1990)
    Tbh it just sounds like she's taken this oppurtunity to finish the relationship, kinda saw it as an easy way to finish you. And it doesn't sound like she tryed to fight to make it work, it does sounds like an excuse to finish you.

    How long was you with her for?
    I was with her for 9 months.
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    (Original post by flight409)
    Doesn't matter what reason she gave, she doesn't want to be in a relationship with you any more, quit chasing.
    This, also.
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    (Original post by Mr Advice)
    This, also.
    I'm not chasing after her though but I'm still not over. I'm more asking just because I want to know if others think the same way. I mean, if a lot do, then I think it'll be easier getting over her knowing she didn't really care much about me (if she doesn't care than why should I?).
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm not chasing after her though but I'm still not over. I'm more asking just because I want to know if others think the same way. I mean, if a lot do, then I think it'll be easier getting over her knowing she didn't really care much about me (if she doesn't care than why should I?).
    If she cared for you this thread wouldn't exist
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    (Original post by riccoles)
    If she cared for you this thread wouldn't exist
    Ha, that's a very good point. Still, just feels easier if I know she really didn't care than if it was slightly true what she said.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm not chasing after her though but I'm still not over. I'm more asking just because I want to know if others think the same way. I mean, if a lot do, then I think it'll be easier getting over her knowing she didn't really care much about me (if she doesn't care than why should I?).
    :console:

    The consensus amongst us all is that she, for whatever reason, didn't want a relationship with you and, if you want to take our advice, then I think you should, to use an old cliche, rub your hands and move on.

    Time is a great healer and, with time, I'm sure you'll get over her.

    I'm in the process of doing the same.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    3 weeks ago my girlfriend broke up with me. She was my first love so it's been quite hard to get over her because this is all so new (although I don't know, it might not get any easier).

    On the day of the break up I wanted to talk to her about the relationship. I was feeling it had become very one-sided and due to it I was feeling very insecure. I felt like I was the one doing everything and trying to make the relationship work and, at times, it felt like she just didn't care much because she never really bothered much. So I told her all that and I told her that I wanted things to change and for things to become more balanced - as they should be.

    After having told her this she said that she couldn't be with me anymore after having realised how much she had hurt me. I told her she hadn't really hurt me or else I would have left her ages ago but she insisted. She also kept saying she now knew how much of a horrible person she was (again, not true).

    After some time having passed though I've come to think it was quite a weak or bad reason for a break up. I feel as though she made the decision for me - I mean surely I'm the one meant to decide if she is hurting me or a horrible person - if I don't think she is then surely it should be fine with us staying together?

    It's made me think she didn't have as strong feelings for me as I did for her because to me it seems like she took the easy route and didn't want to bother changing and making the relationship work better.

    awwww...my relationship ended 3 weeks ago too. He was truely my first love :'( There was a mixture of weak & strong reasons
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    Does she still talk to you or anything? Or after finishing with you, she's moved on completely? If you're still friends, 3 weeks doesn't seem like a long time. You might still be able to work it out. If she doesn't talk to you, then it's clear she's over you.
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    She dumped you, no question about it, she wanted out, found someone else maby, she probably would have hinted that she wants out to you for a while now, you just too blind man.
 
 
 
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