Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free
x Turn on thread page Beta

Feel useless being female watch

Announcements
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Im 22 and I just feel weak and useless. I play a lot of sport and am physically strong for my height Im 4ft 11 and slim but it just disadvantages me.

    Thats just the start of it though Im not really one for bf's Im quite a loner and enjoy my own company but feel I can't be who I really want to be. For example (this is what provoked me to start the thread) at work last week (I work on a psychiatric unit) a patient (40 odd year old man) started punching and kicking a male staff nurse so I sounded my alarm and and all I could do was stand there and watch, Im not allowed to restrain because Im not qualified to do it but I was chatting about it after with the other nurses and one of them said 'tbh with your small build it would be impossible to restrain someone in most cases anyway' I just stood there thinking well Id not be on my own others would be helping lol

    Im starting nurse training this september in mental health and Im thinking well I enjoy the job but Im going to be so disadvantaged when applying and working at the job, women nurses do restrain but they have always been bigger/stronger than me. Men just come in more handy for working on wards for this reason.

    Id also like to go travelling sometime on my own but my mum and nan are saying 'oh its not safe' you'l get raped/knifed' and all that. Whats more Ive been threatened by 14 year old girls who are bigger than me lol.

    It seems that men can do as they please and be free so to speak.

    I just feel useless because of my size really!
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    If it makes you feel any better, I'm half an inch shy off six foot, and I'd love to be tiny. The tiny girls get all the guys Also, you'll never get mistaken for a transvestite.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    I'm sure there are plenty of things that you can do despite you're height which can help. You're not useless and I'm sure you'll make a fantastic nurse.
    Offline

    13
    ReputationRep:
    OP, you can't change your height, you can only learn to live with it.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Im 22 and I just feel weak and useless. I play a lot of sport and am physically strong for my height Im 4ft 11 and slim but it just disadvantages me.

    Thats just the start of it though Im not really one for bf's Im quite a loner and enjoy my own company but feel I can't be who I really want to be. For example (this is what provoked me to start the thread) at work last week (I work on a psychiatric unit) a patient (40 odd year old man) started punching and kicking a male staff nurse so I sounded my alarm and and all I could do was stand there and watch, Im not allowed to restrain because Im not qualified to do it but I was chatting about it after with the other nurses and one of them said 'tbh with your small build it would be impossible to restrain someone in most cases anyway' I just stood there thinking well Id not be on my own others would be helping lol

    Im starting nurse training this september in mental health and Im thinking well I enjoy the job but Im going to be so disadvantaged when applying and working at the job, women nurses do restrain but they have always been bigger/stronger than me. Men just come in more handy for working on wards for this reason.

    Id also like to go travelling sometime on my own but my mum and nan are saying 'oh its not safe' you'l get raped/knifed' and all that. Whats more Ive been threatened by 14 year old girls who are bigger than me lol.

    It seems that men can do as they please and be free so to speak.

    I just feel useless because of my size really!
    First of all ignore the posts above (well, the first two that were there when I started this message).

    Secondly, a lot of it comes down to confidence I think - yes you may not be much use in restraining largely built guys, but there will definitely be other virtues you have which are irrelvant to size or gender. Can't say too much else without knowing much about you I think.

    Give me a PM if you want to talk x
    Offline

    9
    ReputationRep:
    Perhaps you could learn a martial art? I don't think you need to feel disadvantaged because you are a little below the average height though ..
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by charlotterg5)
    Constructive :/

    If it makes you feel any better, I'm half an inch shy off six foot, and I'd love to be tiny. The tiny girls get all the guys Also, you'll never get mistaken for a transvestite.
    Ive been mistaken for a boy though lol. I don't get any guys really
    • PS Helper
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    PS Helper
    Don't worry, a lot feel the same.

    At the paintball site, for example, I was always given the rowdy groups as they were 'less likely to hit a girl'. Then the day came where they didn't hold back, but I couldn't defend myself as it was just me out there. (Well, there was another lad, but he was an idiot and did screw all).

    They soon stopped giving me the crap groups after that...
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Im 5ft too so similar height, training to be a vet, and the amount of people who say "oh god you can't hold that horse you're far too small" blah blah. Grates on me a bit! I make sure I work out though and am pretty strong for my size, I just dont have the weight behind me to back it up!
    Being small works to your advantage though, just put on a cutesy voice and guys will do anything for you!! Managed to get my boss to manoveure a minging bin out of the way yesterday at work... GREAT SUCCESSS
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Well there's things the really tall people have to suffer for too. Can't walk through doorways without having to bend down, can't fit in nice sports cars, the list is endless. Nobody can do everything unfortunately, how about just embrace the good points and advantages for being that height instead of feeling weak and useless. Nobody's got the ideal package to do everything, some people are to obese, some are too skinny...happens for everybody.
    Just embrace it, do what you can do and accept what you can't.

    Also, I'm no nursing expert, but I'm presuming there is so much more to it than just restraining ill patients getting out of control. There are plenty of other tasks for which your height will not be a disadvantage. As for the travellling problem, loads of girls get that from their parents, safety is relevant to everyone nobody is immune from rape etc. Whether you can defend yourself is another issue entirely, but anyway I hope you don't back down from your course just because of this one small (and in many respects totally irrelavent) issue.

    Plus, who knows you might find a guy who thinks you're really cute and just wishes he wants to keep you in his pocket
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    OP, you're far from useless. Sounding the alarm was a good, sensible thing to do - and if you think about it, you're lucky - what if one of these patients had a knife or something? Or if he was particularly strong or frenzied. You wouldn't want to be considered one of the useful ones then, right? :p:
    It's nothing to worry about, just enjoy your life. I'm sure you excel in ways other than physical strength
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    don't worry about the restraining thing lol - thats just one part o ur job, and if it was that necessary, they wouldnt employ a small gal lol
    i think maybe u just need to see the good points in being a woman, maybe try and be more social lol make works friends and hang out with them - itll give you a reason to dress up and feel womanly. you've got alot going for u lol dont let the small things seem like a big deal
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Egglet)
    Im 5ft too so similar height, training to be a vet, and the amount of people who say "oh god you can't hold that horse you're far too small" blah blah. Grates on me a bit! I make sure I work out though and am pretty strong for my size, I just dont have the weight behind me to back it up!
    Being small works to your advantage though, just put on a cutesy voice and guys will do anything for you!! Managed to get my boss to manoveure a minging bin out of the way yesterday at work... GREAT SUCCESSS
    Ah, never actually tried it I guess I could try it.:o:
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Ive been mistaken for a boy though lol. I don't get any guys really
    i think the main reason you perhaps haven't had many, or any boyfriends, is because of confidence. if you don't love yourself & believe in yourself & have confidence in yourself, then no-one else will. i'm 5'2 and have always loved my height, which shows through my confidence, so i've had no problem getting boyfriends.

    and as for the people who was saying stuff about your size, put them right! stand up for yourself, the word will soon get around that you are strong both physically and mentally and people will stop making remarks.

    your height is something that you cannot change, so you have to start accepting it and your confidence will soon grow. i also agree with taking up a martial arts class!
    Offline

    8
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Ive been mistaken for a boy though lol. I don't get any guys really
    maybe you don't try?

    Anyway being female is an advatange in loooads of other ways. There are women who can kick a lot of guys asses and, although raw strength does help, it's certainly possible to overpower people in other ways. There may be things on that job that males are not good at. I don't know too much about the job description but think about things that you can do better because you are female.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Siobherz)
    don't worry about the restraining thing lol - thats just one part o ur job, and if it was that necessary, they wouldnt employ a small gal lol
    i think maybe u just need to see the good points in being a woman, maybe try and be more social lol make works friends and hang out with them - itll give you a reason to dress up and feel womanly. you've got alot going for u lol dont let the small things seem like a big deal
    I don't really dress up and go out though Im quite a tomboy and just enjoy sport I don't have good social skills lol it just drains my energy. Im trying to improve with the latter, though lol.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    There will always be bigger and also smaller persons than you. I can be annoyed by big guys who run over me because they are bigger... But just be who you are and you will see that size is not what matters.

    I btw really fancy small girls :daydreaming:
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by katie_bird)
    Makes it easier for them to suck ****? What be your justification here?
    From my experience it's because the guys like to feel like some big macho protector of their little girlfriend. Wouldn't quite work with someone the same height as you who could probably kick your ass.

    Seriously though OP, in the same way as I can't change being tall, you can't change being short, and I don't think being short is necessarily a bad thing. And I'm sure you don't look like a boy
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    You should change the 'female' in your thread title to 'small'.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    Well everyone here is certainly a barrel of monkeys tonight...

    It's not just woman who get this. I am also fairly short at 5ft 3.5. I am however quite largly built but also get a lot of "What on earth can you do in a fight" thing. I'd be lying if I said this type of thing never bothered me, especially when people attribute my actions due to a percieved "Napoleon complex". Both the good and the bad.

    There isn't a lot you can do about it, but you already know that. Just have a laugh at those who tell you otherwise. Theres not that many who could restrain a largly built man by themselves.

    Do you get to dose them once you have qualified? That may help somewhat.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: August 3, 2009
Poll
Do you agree with the proposed ban on plastic straws and cotton buds?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.