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Lovely boyfriend, NZ cyber buddy. Watch

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    Hiya, so I've got a boyfriend and we've been together for well over a year now and are fantastically happy as far as I know. We have amazing sex but are also really close, can tease and joke with eachother but can also tell eachother anything. I've never been tempted to cheat on him and I've never had any reason to suspect he's cheated on me.

    In the past though, I belonged to a forum where I became friendly with a guy 2/3 years older than me who lives in Australia. Very aware of the age difference, I was only 14 when we started talking (17 now and he's 20), and The Dangers of The Internet I was really cautious, but over the years our relationship developed until we'd often go on webcam together (so I know it's not some weird 40 yr old man) and talked about meeting up and possibly starting something when he came to Britain travelling. I'm usually pretty rational about LDRs, and i'd never consider "going out" with him when he lives on the other side of the world, but I find I'm sexually attracted to him.

    After my boyfriend and I got together, I stopped talking to the Aussie guy so much as it felt like cheating, and this is my question really.

    1.If you were me, would you feel guilty for sometimes talking to another guy about how we might getogether in the future?

    2.If you found out your other half was doing so, would you consider it cheating?

    3.And finally, do you think I should stop talking to this guy?
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    You do know that NZ (New Zealand) and Australia are two completely different countries right? :awesome:

    1. Yes.
    2. Possibly, I'd be pretty gutted if he was creeping about behind my back and arranging to meet some girl off the internet who he was 'sexually attracted to.'
    3. Yes. Or dump your boyfriend and do him a favour.
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    If you've had cybersex with that person when your going out with your boyfriend i'd consider it cheating
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    Not worth it. LDRs don't work and it'll be different when you see him IRL
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    Ah lol what a mistaka to maka.
    I should point out my boyfriend is the priority here. I have pretty much decided that I need to stop talking to this guy, but I was curious to see what others would do.
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    (Original post by Sakura-Chan)
    You do know that NZ (New Zealand) and Australia are two completely different countries right? :awesome:

    1. Yes.
    2. Possibly, I'd be pretty gutted if he was creeping about behind my back and arranging to meet some girl off the internet who he was 'sexually attracted to.'
    3. Yes. Or dump your boyfriend and do him a favour.
    LOL

    OP, don't worry about it. You aren't cheating. Just don't talk to the random NZ guy so much and don't go on webcam anymore.
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    (Original post by Emily069)
    LOL

    OP, don't worry about it. You aren't cheating. Just don't talk to the random NZ guy so much and don't go on webcam anymore.
    If it isn't cheating, why stop? Are you saying its bad in other ways like its deceiving or something
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    (Original post by Emily069)
    LOL

    OP, don't worry about it. You aren't cheating. Just don't talk to the random NZ guy so much and don't go on webcam anymore.
    Why shouldn't she go on webcam anymore?
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    (Original post by member101)
    Why shouldn't she go on webcam anymore?
    It will give her boyfriend ammunition.
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    (Original post by 7777777)
    If it isn't cheating, why stop? Are you saying its bad in other ways like its deceiving or something
    Well, in my opinion it's just not a very good idea and a bit of a waste of time. But I thought that was irrelevant so left it out.
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    (Original post by Emily069)
    It will give her boyfriend ammunition.
    Ammunition lol. You make it sound like a war, whats the point in going out if you just deceive each other, stop doing things so they can't proove your in the wrong... Just pointless

    and yeah fair enough, i was just curious on your view :p:
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    (Original post by 7777777)
    Ammunition lol. You make it sound like a war, whats the point in going out if you just deceive each other, stop doing things so they can't proove your in the wrong... Just pointless

    and yeah fair enough, i was just curious on your view :p:
    IT IS WAR. war between Man and Woman. Blegh. I don't even know what I am talking about anymore... it's late... I'm tired...

    All I think is that OP should be happy with her real life boyfriend and give up hope of one who lives on the other side of the world...
    • #1
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    I haven't been on webcam with him since I got with my boyfriend btw. I don't think I'm decieving my boyfriend, its not like I flirt with the NZ guy (feel very stupid for wiriting Aussie btw). The only bad thing about our conversation is just when we talk about meeting up in the future, as that assumes that I won't be with my bf and will be single to hook up with this guy.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I haven't been on webcam with him since I got with my boyfriend btw. I don't think I'm decieving my boyfriend, its not like I flirt with the NZ guy (feel very stupid for wiriting Aussie btw). The only bad thing about our conversation is just when we talk about meeting up in the future, as that assumes that I won't be with my bf and will be single to hook up with this guy.
    You have good expectations of your current relationship then?

    And yes war :eek3: I can solve your problem, sleep!!!
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    (Original post by 7777777)
    You have good expectations of your current relationship then?

    And yes war :eek3: I can solve your problem, sleep!!!
    I have good expectations of the relationship with the bf, which is why I feel guilty for talking about meeting up with the NZ guy. If I thought there wasn't much of a chance with my bf now I would probably feel less guilty about talking to this guy.
    Meh. Confused. I think I'll just stop talking to the NZ guy.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I have good expectations of the relationship with the bf, which is why I feel guilty for talking about meeting up with the NZ guy. If I thought there wasn't much of a chance with my bf now I would probably feel less guilty about talking to this guy.
    Meh. Confused. I think I'll just stop talking to the NZ guy.
    Well there is no harm in being friends with him but if he is getting the impression that your going to be meeting up for sex/relationship then its probably for the best that you stop talking to him.
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    Ignore the internet guy.
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    Ignore the internet guy. :dontknow: After all, it's unlikely you'd ever meet.
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    Agree with the above posts...although being friends with the cyber guy isn't doing any harm, if you continue to talk to him, the temptation is still there. And like a few people pointed out, how likely is it that you'll meet anyway?
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    For my part, if I found out my girlfriend had a friend she was discussing going out with in the future I'd break up with her. I'm not really interested in having a relationship with someone for whom I'm just a stop-gap until she can go out with someone else.
 
 
 
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