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You're infertile: how would you react? Watch

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    #1

    Anon or delete, please.

    Today I, an 18 year old male, found out I have a long term varicocele which makes it quite likely that I am either infertile or will have some type of fertility issue later on in life.

    I never really thought about it until now, I hate the idea of having kids but I know one day I might not. I might have a wife who is desperate to conceive and I cannot give her what she wants.

    How would you react? How do you think it would effect your relationships in the future?

    I'm really quite bummed.. feel like I've lost part of what made me a man
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    Don't feel bad you can always adopt, and maybe by the time you want children there might be medical advances that will help your fertility.
    Have you thought about freezing your sperm?
    • #2
    #2

    Since my abortion I have always been scared that it might affect my future fertility. I don't know why but I think it is harder for a woman to deal with being infertile as having children is the largest part of being a woman.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
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    (Original post by pina.Love)
    Don't feel bad you can always adopt, and maybe by the time you want children there might be medical advances that will help your fertility.
    Have you thought about freezing your sperm?
    I could never adopt or use a sperm doner. The idea of raising someone elses child is really disturbing to me - I want him / her to look like me, having some of my genetic personality traits... not some student who tossed in a cup for cash.
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    I think my reaction would be something along the lines of: "oh hells yeah! No kids for me."

    Then I'd do the happy dance.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I could never adopt or use a sperm doner. The idea of raising someone elses child is really disturbing to me - I want him / her to look like me, having some of my genetic personality traits... not some student who tossed in a cup for cash.
    Well I get what you mean to an extent.
    Do you know if it is possible for you to freeze your good sperm now and use it for the future?
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    Adoption is always open. Not only will you make yourself happy, but also a child who otherwise could have a worse life.
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    I don't want children tbh, but I think finding out the option wasn't even there would be kind of upsetting. I want it to be a choice I get to make, not one that gets made for me.

    If it makes you feel any better OP, my mum's friend was told he was infertile in his teens, went on a health kick as part of his mid life crisis in his thirties, and now has three. These things aren't always permanent
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    Don't like 15% of men have varicoceles?

    EDIT: Yes, quick research says that 1 in 7 men have a varicocele, and that they are usually not dangerous.
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    I'd feel terrible, if I'm perfectly honest. I really want to have children one day. You could adopt, but still. :sad:
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    A few years ago on a regular check up at the hospital a nice young 'doctor' told me that if I didn't do anything about my test results I wouldn't have much chance of having kids. I swear to god, she had the bedside manner of leatherface. What was I going to do, go home and revise for the next test. Idiot.

    It hit me like a ton of bricks. I didn't really hear much after that and for a while I was pretty tore up about it. Since then, I've been back and apparantly everything is fine, which makes me ask, was there even a problem in the first place?

    Keep your chin up, nothings certain yet and if it does turn out for the worst, remember there is always other options.
    • #3
    #3

    Today I, an 18 year old male, found out I have a long term varicocele which makes it quite likely that I am either infertile or will have some type of fertility issue later on in life.
    Who/what gave you that impression? I have it too, and my understanding is, although the chances of infertility are slightly increased, they are still pretty low...

    This site explains it pretty well
    http://www.patient.co.uk/health/Varicocele.htm
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    (Original post by QED)
    I'd feel terrible, if I'm perfectly honest. I really want to have children one day. You could adopt, but still. :sad:
    Me too

    My dad had a vasectomy, but he's got a new wife now and she's never had kids and wants them, he had a reversal but it didn't work (which is pretty common) ..so it's kinda hard for the both of them, she knows that she won't be abe to have kids with dad and he feels bad because he wants to have kids with her and can't give her them because a few years beforehand he decided to get the snip.

    There are other options OP if that is the case, you don't want kids at the moment so don't worry about it, don't cause yourself more stress than you need to right now..:console:
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    I'd react badly. Very badly indeed. I get very paranoid about infertility and baldness for some reason.

    As some say, there is always adoption. But I think a lot of people have this thing about having their own biological children.
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    Something along the lines of

    "Well, ****..."
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    suits me fine, I don't want kids yuck. xD
    but honestly, I would prefer to be fertile than infertile though, no matter how much I don't want kids.
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    It is natural to want kids. Most people on this forum who say they don't want them are still pretty young. Give it another 15 years, when time starts to run out and everyone they know have children. Most will change their tune.

    The doctor told me a few months back that I might have fertility problems. After a few tests, he decided it was unlikely, but still possible. I did feel bad, mainly because if I do meet someone and get married in the future, he might want biological children. As for me, I'm quite open to adoption and love the idea anyway, so it wouldn't hurt me that much.
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    This is being honest, not precocious:
    I think I'd be quite glad in a way. I've never wanted to have kids and this would give me a bit of an excuse (my mum is always nagging me about it).
    Now, of course, I'm not saying that this won't change: it might well do so.
    But this is how things stand at the moment, and kind of chimes with your views.
    Worry about the future when it comes, 'eh!

    I hope I haven't caused any offence to anyone: none was intended.
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    :party:
    I would hate to have parents asking 'when are you having babby?'
    I wouldn't mind adopting anyway
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    I personally would be devasted if I or my partner were infertile but if it were my partner I would support them and look into all other options into how we could have a child.

    I have a strong possibility of struggling to have a child, I found out two years ago but I've got used to it as there are ways to conceive, IVF, sperm donantion, surrogacy and if everything fails adoption.

    So OP it's not the end of the world and speaking from personal experience you will get used to the fact that you may not be able to have a child but I'm sure any partner you meet will be supportive and understand. I know I would.
 
 
 
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