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My friends aren't like me, but I'm not like me. Watch

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    Before going to Uni I used to be a bit of a kinda rocky guy, like I'd always be the one labelled the 'emo' at college due to the way i'd dress and the music I like, not in a bad way that just the way it was. Most of my college mates were Indie guys anyway and wouldn't mind.

    However since going to Uni, all I've met are trendy kinda people that go clubbing. I know it sounds stereotypical but they just seem all the same. Anyways, due to my insecurity I dressed like them and went out with them, despite the fact I didn't like it, like I feel I created a completely different persona just to fit in. I mean I enjoy the 'banter' I have with them, but I just don't feel like me.

    My girlfriend at the time said she really loved me for who I was throughout college, but a couple of months into Uni she said I was becoming more of a 'Lad' and didn't like it and said I wasn't the same, thus we ended up breaking up. I'm sort of over that now as there were other reasons, but, I can't help thinking that this was a factor.

    Now whenever I go out with them I don't enjoy it, especially compared to going to Gigs. My music taste is still the same, when my new mates look through my Ipod there always like 'who the **** are these, you have **** music taste' etc.

    I just feel like I'm stuck having to portray this sort of fake persona as I haven't met anyone at Uni who is like me. I feel like I'm missing out on the stuff I like to do, like I went to a gig recently with one of my mates from home and it was awesome, I'm really unsure what to do as I don't want to lose the friends I've made at Uni, but I hate being fake..
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    there's enough people like you at uni surely? at my uni we have a very active rock society, maybe your uni has one? alternatively you could go to one of these clubs and strike up a conversation with a fellow rocker?
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    There are soooo many different types of people at uni, all from vastly different walks of life. There are definately many like you...you just haven't been able to find them. Sometimes joining a society which best highlights your interest would be the most straightforward way of meeting like minded people. Or looking around for groups on Facebook and striking up conversations on there?

    In terms of this whole 'fakeness'..it depends how much you value your own worth and character.

    If you turn around and admit you're actually different to them and they give you the brush off..then at least you know you've stopped all the fakeness and pretending and can just be yourself and find people who will appreciate you for you. But if you carry on as you are..you will continue to live a lie and obviously it's taking its toll on you.

    If they were true friends, they'd stick with you no matter what. Just because you have different lifestyles, tastes in music etc shouldn't matter...but in this day's society it very well may do. Good luck!
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    join the rock / metal / indie society at your uni to find friends with similar music tastes, personality, fashion sense, lifestyle etc.?
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    That's really quite sad.
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    You shouldn't change who you are to suit others, if they can't handle the real you then they aren't worth your friendship.

    Its the deversity of my friends that i like, if we were all the same and had no seperate interests conversations would become stale.
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    You should listen to Matinee by Franz Ferdinand.

    Just do whatever the hell you want and be however the hell you want. If your friends dump you for it then they obviously aren't your proper friends.

    Then you could take the oportunity to go out and find other people who you are more suited to.

    Don't get into a vicious cycle where you are pretending to be someone you aren't. This is the reason there are suicides and ****.
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    Ffs, this is painful/funny

    Why do people think that their musical taste defines them so much?
    Everyone thinks their musical taste is impeccable, alot of people hate dance music but grin and bear it and changing over time is inevitable.
    Grow up!
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    I can relate. In the end, you've got to be yourself. I changed how I looked for a while and did the 'clubbing thing' but it never satisfied me. But then I went back to my 'gothy' or 'rocky' ways and that's how I'm comfortable. I still go clubbing and dance to a loon to Escada n stuff, but it won't stop be listening to Whitesnake and Sabbath when I go home.
    I stick out like a sore thumb in my local club, but who really cares?

    You'll find some friends that you can relate to. It'll happen, but don't change yourself in the mean time.
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    Be yourself at uni. Dress the way you have always dressed etc. You should not, however, give yourself a label and try to find people 'like you'. Learn to get on with all of the types of people there are at uni (because there are loads) without changing who you are in the process.
    As you mature, you'll realise that teenage subcultures like 'emo' are silly and don't define who you are.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Before going to Uni I used to be a bit of a kinda rocky guy, like I'd always be the one labelled the 'emo' at college due to the way i'd dress and the music I like, not in a bad way that just the way it was. Most of my college mates were Indie guys anyway and wouldn't mind.

    However since going to Uni, all I've met are trendy kinda people that go clubbing. I know it sounds stereotypical but they just seem all the same. Anyways, due to my insecurity I dressed like them and went out with them, despite the fact I didn't like it, like I feel I created a completely different persona just to fit in. I mean I enjoy the 'banter' I have with them, but I just don't feel like me.

    My girlfriend at the time said she really loved me for who I was throughout college, but a couple of months into Uni she said I was becoming more of a 'Lad' and didn't like it and said I wasn't the same, thus we ended up breaking up. I'm sort of over that now as there were other reasons, but, I can't help thinking that this was a factor.

    Now whenever I go out with them I don't enjoy it, especially compared to going to Gigs. My music taste is still the same, when my new mates look through my Ipod there always like 'who the **** are these, you have **** music taste' etc.

    I just feel like I'm stuck having to portray this sort of fake persona as I haven't met anyone at Uni who is like me. I feel like I'm missing out on the stuff I like to do, like I went to a gig recently with one of my mates from home and it was awesome, I'm really unsure what to do as I don't want to lose the friends I've made at Uni, but I hate being fake..
    Okay, not everyone is going to be like you are they? Just because you are an "emo" guy, doesn't mean you can't make friends with peole who dont dress/like your kinda music. Its a thing peole use to relate to others but COME ON... your best mate could be totally nothing like you. Dont use these things to have that "connection" with people. Its so overrated. Like my best mate listens to r n b stuff and I wont listen to anything like that... I still like her!

    Go to Gigs, becuase of the people! I have learnt that you are going to have to compromise some things to be friends with people. The question is how far do you do it?

    By the sounds of it, I think you miss your old life... and dont let go off your uni friends but try and make friends with people "more like you" in addition.

    You aren't being fake.. but dont stop dressing like you used to... Music taste is one thing.. but dont change completely.

    Maybe have two batches of groups of friends.. sticking to one group isn't always a good thing. BIG mistake I made, I missed out...

    Uni is not like 6th form/school mix with everyone.
 
 
 
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