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    Hi,

    I'm currently inbetween my AS and A2 years of college - due to a lot of mess I took a year out inbetween GCSE and AS so got put with a new year group.

    Well while the average person my age is spending their summer going out with friends, going to parties etc I'm spending my entire summer sitting at home alone/going to the gym.

    I have no proper friends - out of the 2 people I thought were proper friends, one of them blanks me every time I try and contact them via MSN/facebook (and always ignored me whenever other people were around anyway) and the other has 1) had contant house parties across the last few weeks but hasn't even thought of inviting me, 2) looking back they have always tried to make me basically look like **** infront of other people so I don't think trying to get into either of their groups will work well. Also they each live like 40mins walking distance away which may be a problem.

    There is people on my facebook who live near me, who I haven't spoken to in like 2 years who went my old school who were in my year for GCSE who I used to get on quite well with - but most of them will just remember me as really quiet (which I'm not anymore, I changed a lot in the past 18 months or so) so there's not much point in trying to like "reunite" with them. Also most of them are 18 so on nights out would want to go to places that ID but I'm not 18 for another couple of weeks yet due to my birthday being quite late in the year.

    There's also people on my facebook from my college I've never really spoken to, but also most of them live quite far from me/ think lowly of me due to my so called "friends" making me look like ****.

    Also there's a couple of people I know from my year out between GCSE and AS, but only one of them still ever speaks to me and it's usually about computers, and they have always patronised me, and are realy negative so I don't really like talk to them anyway.

    So looking at things objectively - I'm almost 18, never kissed a girl (which people can tell without even speaking to me), have no proper friends, the last time I went out socially was 2 months ago and the next time I speak to someone my age in person will be on results day probably.

    I'm sure people will come out with stuff like "ohh you'll make new friends in uni" (why the hell would moving to a new location reverse 18 (well it'll be 19) years of being a loser) or "you just need to be more confident/ talk to more people/ hint to people you'd like to go out" but I know it won't work because I've always been a loner my entire life - I'm pretty sure I'm just genetically programmed to be an absolute loser for my entire life and I might as well just end it.
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    You need to stop beating yourself down cos uni does actually change your life if you want it too. You go with this attitude to uni and yeah, you'll still be a loner. So you had bad friends and haven't got much of a social life...it happens. Stop sitting at home feeling bad for yourself, get out there and live.
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    I was a lot like you before I started university (except the kissing girls thing, obviously). I still don't have heaps of friends, but I have good friends and I'm happy. I saw it as a completely new start, and I really came out of my shell when I got here, life couldn't be more different. My friends here can't believe I used to be an awkward, shy loner back home.. I think it's your environment that makes you who you are - getting away and starting again is the best thing you can do to turn your life around.

    Stop being wet.
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    I don't have a lot of time because I'm on my lunch break but feel free to PM me.

    I used to be exactly the same as you. Didn't have a lot of friends in sixth form and felt lonely, did a lot of things on my own and didn't really go out with people cos I had no one to go out with.

    You say you've changed- in what ways?

    It's true that you do just need to get out there and you need to try and look at things in a different perspective. I believe a lot in the saying that people will only like you when you like yourself. You could maybe try finding any local clubs or something. Or you could try hooking up with these old people.

    It sounds like you've got very low self esteem. Can you talk to anyone like a counsellor? I did and I managed to change my thought patterns which made me appear more positive and which have allowed me to make friends at uni. Its basically down to you to try and get out of this situation and if you don't do anything to help you'll only feel worse.
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    More money for us....
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    I've changed as in that I used to actually enjoy being lonely until about 18 months ago.
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    I feel alone too. But I don't mind it. OP, don't say things like your thread title. Do something to cheer yourself up, even if you are alone. Music, go out somewhere...maybe invite cousins or any good friend that you may have over/somewhere.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've changed as in that I used to actually enjoy being lonely until about 18 months ago.
    I suppose in a way that's a good thing cos you've recognised that it's actually a problem for you and you want to do something about it.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've changed as in that I used to actually enjoy being lonely until about 18 months ago.
    That's a bit like me when I turned 17 and to be honest you should think of it as something positive because it shows you have some ambition and you want to mix and not waste your life in isolation. And by having ambition it gives you drive and should encourage you to make more friends successfully.
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    (Original post by hannah_dru)
    I suppose in a way that's a good thing cos you've recognised that it's actually a problem for you and you want to do something about it.
    Thanks for the rep for this Tom!
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    First thing stop beating yourself up over all this, things will get better .

    I guess I had a hint of your experience once in school days where some of the poeple I knew turned into absolute idiots and undermined me around others to look good. Eventually they grew up.

    Your friend who doesnt invite you reminds me of me at one time. The only reason is because they think you wont appreciate it or it doesn't enter there head because they're so used to you not being there - like you said, you enjoyed being lonely. Just suggest something like do you fancy going out on X day and they'll get the point - maybe with a few shocked faces but who gives a damn.
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    Don't worry, you're not alone. I have quite a lot of friends but not the kind of people who ever really think about me. My closest friend for the last 16 years has finally started drifting away from me (we've drifted away for a few years here and there in the past but this time I'm not ready to not be friends with him). I desperately wish I had a best friend, someone who might actually call me and ask if I want to do something. I'm hoping its going to change at uni too - I think just wait it out, you never know it could be the best thing ever!
 
 
 
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