(Original post by alexa123)
Lots of people seem to think having kids means your life is over...
That's because it is, at least your social life that doesn't involve small children is anyway. I've lost count of the number of films I've missed at the cinema due to not being able to afford a baby sitter, or my parents being unavailable (my wife lost her father when she was 20, and her mother not long after that), etc...
For our tenth anniversary of being together I arranged a baby sitter, one of the women that works at the nursery that our eldest goes to. I booked a table at a nice resteraunt in Camden, and I cleaned up the house (it was a mess) before my wife got home from work, doing the cleaning whilst the baby sitter kept an eye on the girls. The meal was expensive at around £100, maybe a bit more, but then the cost of the baby sitting, etc... (also paid for a cleaner for a couple of hours) was over £80, so the whole night cost the best part of £200, and we didn't even really do anything...
Obviously a somewhat extreme example. However, even say going out for a meal and a film, which might take four or five hours, well at £8ph (that's on the expensive side, but she is a fully trained nursery teacher, so at the end of the day you get what you pay for...), that's still £40, and that's before you even start thinking about cinema tickets, the price of the meal, any drinks, etc...
Oh and obviously when you have kids money is obviously that much tighter. We didn't have a holiday at all last year, just about managed to visit my parents in Italy, but only because they paid the £1k in air fares and car hire for us to visit for just a week (£500 with bloody Ryanair, great for couples, but sodding rubbish for families). And of course where you might happily spent £20-30 every couple of nights on a takeaway, that's just money that you can't spend when you've got kids (well unless you're got a lot of spare cash).
So anyway, your social life does change. The nightclubs that I used to like no longer really exist (all this bloody rubbish new music I'm afraid, plus of course all teh stuff that was rubbish anyway), but even going to gigs isn't really an option any more. When asked what you'll be doing next Friday or Saturday, the answer will invariably be 'staying in watching TV'.
I should probably also point out that pretty much everyone I've met or known who got hitched early ends up cheating on or splitting up with their partners by the time they hit their mid-20's. You will get frustrated with being tied down early, especially if the person in question is your first 'proper' partner, and even moreso if you've never slept with anyone else.
Anyway I'm just rambling on again. But I will end with once again pointing out that statistics are not even remotely in your favour. Most teenage mothers end up screwing up. There are exceptions, but what are the chances that you won't be one of them?
Pregnancy and the parents Watch
- 06-08-2009 08:29
- 06-08-2009 13:54
I met my partner when i was 17 (feb 2007) and we had moved in together by the june/july 2007 then in october 2007 found out i was pregnant with our little girl who we had on 26th june 2008, shes now 13 months old.
To me it hasnt been that hard or to much of a change as before falling pregnant, i never went out clubbing or to the pub or anythin, im much more of a stay indoors and cuddle up on the sofa with a dvd type of girl.
Of course my parents found if extremely awkward in the start, as they dont like the fact my partnter is 10 years older than me, but they knew there wasnt alot they could do.
There are times we struggle money wise, but we manage as we have jars full of change which we have saved up since we moved intogether so if we short 1 week dig into that. this only happens rarely though.
My partner works full time and is paid weekly, and i have just finished full time college and am now looking for a job, after being laid off from my previous job at the start of the year.
i went back into ful time education and part time work when my daughter was only 2 months old.
We are now saving to take her away to florida next year when she'll be 27 months old.
Life doesnt have to stop just because you have a baby. If you manage things right then you can still afford holidays,and treats every now and then. You could do this from just like putting any spare change you have lying around aside in jars as it all saves up in the end.
We managed to do a haven this way and even saved up £600 extra aswell which we took to use on food and extra treats for all the kids (we went with all my partners family so there was our daughter my partners son from his previous marriage and also his 2 neices)
She is also a VERY well behaved baby. slept through since 6 weeks old, and before then only woke up once a night, teething has never botherd her (she has 6 teeth and has NEVER woken up durin the night because of it)
This is on average what we need a week for her:
Nappies- £3.97 a pack from morrisons (25 in a pack)
Milk- 2 6pint cartons from asda for £4
Shes been on solids since 4 months old so just eats what we do so all comes in on a weekly shop.
then wipes we only need every 6-8 weeks as we buy in bulk when they are on offer
Clothes you dont always have to buy new! you could buy from ebay, this is what we done before she was born, we also bought our 1st buggy from ebay for £30.
FREECYCLE have also been good for us and we have just recieved a new buggy from there (britax vigour 4 which would of been £269.99 to buy) was in brill condition and only 6months old, and plenty of people always seem to offer baby clothes aswell.