Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Everyone makes mistakes, don't be so hard on yourself - you are not a ****, and I know you feel pretty repulsed by the whole thing but just try to think about it more rationally and less emotionally. I really doubt he'll approach you/try it on again, he will have known you were drunk and that he took advantage, and won't want to push his luck.
    • #2
    #2

    Oh crap I just repped Hamcock instead of negging him.

    Anyway, OP, obviously it's gonna be hard if you don't feel you can talk to anybody about it but try your hardest not to let it bother you. I've kissed people in the past and been physically repulsed by them the day after, and that's just a kiss! There's nothing you can do now, apart from get over it and try forget about it.

    Go for an STD check up, just to be sure.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Try to put it to the back of your mind, he is the type of person you would approach sober so maybe you need to think about how much you drink. I have been pretty wasted in my time, good old uni liver but never slept with someone I wouldn't if sober or completely forgot stuff. Get yourself checked out at the gum clinic and get the morning after pill, you may not have even thought about contraception.
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    Morning. After. Pill.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    didnt use protection? tad risky with a pervy old bloke like!

    other than that everybody makes mistakes, ive woken up next to some right messes after a night out, there's no lasting harm done apart from maybe some abuse from your friends.

    dont feel so disgusted with yourself, you were drunk and horny, theres nothing special about sex and it doesnt mean anything with him, he was nothing but a glorified dildo for the night! at the end of the day a one night drunken pull is a one night drunken pull is a one night drunken pull, it doesnt matter who it is with provided they are legal and dont give you syphilis! its not like your gonna marry him...
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm not a ****...
    ...but...
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    ...this man who lives by me is about 45 (I'm 18). last Friday night I saw him out and we started chatting. So I ended back at his and woke up the next morning to find myself in his bed, wearing only my bra....
    ...Oh by the way...
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    ...he's not a very nice man, He's been to prison for assaulting his last girlfriend and everyone hates him.
    Yes, well....

    Keep it in your knickers next time.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Bubbles*de*Milo)
    Stop panicking, stop being upset, just calm down, ok?

    Breathe. Something horrible happened, yes? Yes. You can't change that. You slept with him. You didn't die, nothing particularly horrendous happened, so it could be worse. Something unpleasant has happened, but you don't need to dwell on it for too long. Don't beat yourself up because there's no point. What happened happened and you can't change it, and people who live in the past are always ****** in the head.

    Ok. You're embarased, and I would be too. But it's just sex, everyone does it. Just ignore the creep (you can't avoid him, but you can ignore him), and try not to let yourself get into such a vulnerable situation.

    Go and get a check up at the local GUM clinic though, like very soon!

    Tbh, I'm not sure if you're implying you were raped or just slept with an older man because you were smashed, but if it's the former I wouldn't bother pursuing it. I know that's not what most people say, but I really wouldn't bother with the police. You have no evidence or proof to say it wasn't consensual, the amount of alcohol in your system as this point will be unprovable, and it's really a horrible experience trying to get a rape conviction. You were drunk, if you went to court you'd have some prosecution lawyer grilling you, and that's of course if you could even get it so far. I'm guessing you have very little chance of a prosecution, and who would want this to drag on for months and months? Also, do you want everyone knowing?

    Tbh I really think your best course of action is to draw a line under all of this. Don't EVER get yourself in such a bad position again, get yourself checked out at a GUM clinic, and ignore the guy like the plague.

    x

    Edit: Ok so you weren't raped. Meh, rest still stands. Look at the cats in my sig, they'll cheer you up.
    Hehe, off topic sorry OP........but this sig cheered me up
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Luca118)
    ****, people really don't see the seriousness of crying rape, when by the sounds of it wasn't if you have **** advice like that go spread it somewhere else.
    You sound like a boring old granddad from some of the posts Ive seen of yours, and the Op didn't or hasn't cried rape so jog ion.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Anon or delete please, this is quite horrendous.

    Right, there's this man who lives by me who is about 45 (I'm 18). He's a regular in all the pubs in the small town where I live, and last Friday night I saw him out and we started chatting. I was pretty worse for wear and let's just say he is definitely the type to take advantage of a situation. So I ended back at his (honestly, I don't know what the hell I was thinking) and woke up the next morning to find myself in his bed, wearing only my bra. I quickly got out of there and went home, telling my mom I stayed at my friend's.

    Now the issue is, he's not a very nice man, He's been to prison for assaulting his last girlfriend and everyone hates him. I don't know what I should do. It's not like I can avoid him as he lives in the house opposite mine. Should I tell someone?

    You should take responiblity for your part in all of it i wasn't just magic that got you there.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Redefined)

    Keep it in your knickers next time.
    I've admitted what I did was incredibly stupid, but I wasn't the one who initiated it. From what I can remember, he suggested walking me home, then offered to let me stay at his so as not to wake everyone up and I stupidly said yes. I'm sure he knew what a state I was in but he decided to take advantage, however, this is in no way an excuse for my behaviour.
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Pan's-Labyrinth)
    You sound like a boring old granddad from some of the posts Ive seen of yours, and the Op didn't or hasn't cried rape so jog ion.

    Oh well your brilliant, nah, I'm not an old grandad, and if you learnt to read mate, I never said the OP was crying rape, but plenty of others were, and lets be honest if you knew someone, that had been raped, theres a big ******* difference, and if everyone just went round crying rape all the time, the world would be a better place wouldn't it? :rolleyes:

    I was just trying to point out, that no the OP hadn't been raped, and yeah, I'm all up for getting pretty drunk, but **** it, people need to learn to accept the consequences of their actions so why dont you just pipe down?
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    This is ******* disgusting. YOU messed up because YOU got a bit too drunk and YOU slept with someone probably 2.5x your age. Stop being an irresponsible whore and blaming other people for YOUR own failures. And everyone else advising her to break the law and lie to the police and in court, get a ******* grip and get some morals, plz. Take some god damn responsibility for your actions.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Bagration)
    This is ******* disgusting. YOU messed up because YOU got a bit too drunk and YOU slept with someone probably 2.5x your age. Stop being an irresponsible whore and blaming other people for your own failures. And everyone else advising her to break the law and lie to the police and in court, get a ******* grip and get some morals, plz.
    He does have a point you know.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    Well then what do you want help with exactly? Now that your sober do you think that you could maybe just tell the guy your not interested (if he asks).
    Offline

    8
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Luca118)
    I'd barely call it rape? Tell you what you should do, drink less, and learn a lesson from the fact getting wrecked out your face will get you in situations like that.
    Agreed!
    She should'nt launch that accusation without definate cause which she said she did'nt thank god as it would have been a hell of a mess if she did.
    If the guy is wanting something out of this then you have to tell him yourself the suitation to bascially back off. If he does'nt then tell your folks.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Bagration)
    This is ******* disgusting. YOU messed up because YOU got a bit too drunk and YOU slept with someone probably 2.5x your age. Stop being an irresponsible whore and blaming other people for YOUR own failures. And everyone else advising her to break the law and lie to the police and in court, get a ******* grip and get some morals, plz. Take some god damn responsibility for your actions.
    Ok then, who the **** else have I blamed apart from myself?!
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Luca118)
    Oh well your brilliant, nah, I'm not an old grandad, and if you learnt to read mate, I never said the OP was crying rape, but plenty of others were, and lets be honest if you knew someone, that had been raped, theres a big ******* difference, and if everyone just went round crying rape all the time, the world would be a better place wouldn't it? :rolleyes:

    I was just trying to point out, that no the OP hadn't been raped, and yeah, I'm all up for getting pretty drunk, but **** it, people need to learn to accept the consequences of their actions so why dont you just pipe down?

    I don't need to pipe down, and as for saying that the world would be a better place if everyone cried rape?, can you please extract any part of my last message that even implied that, I know some people were on about rape but they were asking if thats what she thinks happens not saying, oh god you 'WERE' raped.

    I can read perfectly well my dear maybe you should have a few lessons in interpreting things? ey?
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Mr Advice)
    You are liable for your own actions. No point in getting the law involved. As others have said, visit your GP and do some check-ups.

    Why, on earth, did you do such a thing?
    :ditto:
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Bubbles*de*Milo)
    Look at the cats in my sig, they'll cheer you up.
    Best advice in the thread! Made me lol, especially the first cat. :rofl:

    Anyway, I agree, just try and forget about it (after having yourself checked over for STDs). As long as you know you're not a **** and this was a one off mistake, then it's fine. Maybe don't drink as much though.
    The only reason you might need to confide in someone is if the guy starts making sleazy comments or doesn't leave you alone. Otherwise, everyone makes mistakes, just learn from this one and don't beat yourself up. And yes, look at the cats! :giggle:
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Bagration)
    This is ******* disgusting. YOU messed up because YOU got a bit too drunk and YOU slept with someone probably 2.5x your age. Stop being an irresponsible whore and blaming other people for YOUR own failures. And everyone else advising her to break the law and lie to the police and in court, get a ******* grip and get some morals, plz. Take some god damn responsibility for your actions.
    Why are you being so harsh? Who has she blamed? All she's asking is what she should do now as she can't avoid this man and whether she should tell someone what happened! Calm down ffs! :rolleyes:
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: August 4, 2009
Poll
Who is your favourite TV detective?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.